Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
It's the thought that counts
Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML
Today, I got a bikini wax. They said it wouldn't hurt too badly, and that it would just sting. My friend heard me screaming from all the way down the hall in the waiting room. FML
Waxing pubical
Today, I was waxing my legs and somehow dropped an enormous dollop of hot wax on my naked crotch. I refused to yank it off, but still had to cut it off with scissors. So now I have a huge patch of pubic hair way shorter than the rest of it. It looks a right mess FML
Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax and hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. FML
Wax on, wax off
Today, my husband asked me to wax his ass crack for him. It might have been funny or maybe even a kinky experience a few years ago, but now I had to navigate the wax around his haemorrhoid, which did start bleeding. I don’t get why he even wanted a smooth crack at our age. FML
Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML
Flooftastic
Today, I tried to wax my own Brazilian. My housemate’s cat rolled onto a half-used wax strip on the floor. The poor cat now has a small, less-fluffy patch, and I still haven’t figured out how to wax myself. FML
Chewbacca goes surfing
Today, my wax appointment cancelled on me, we’re supposed to be going to Hawaii in the morning and now I can’t wear a bikini because my stomach and back are hairier than my husband's. FML
Today, I was at the beach with my boyfriend in Key West. I had gotten a bikini wax and new swimsuit for the occasion. My boyfriend was being romantic until he pulled a long hair from a mole on my leg. It's all fun and games until the mole starts bleeding, profusely. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML
Top comments
SumBur 11
Why does your best friend have to help you? That relationship will never be the same.
Wizardo 33
I guess wax on, wax off isn't gonna work here is it?
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Comments (168)
409sPoisonGirl 12
I don't know what would hurt more - the hot water, or the waxing itself. Good luck with that one OP.
etoilenuit 15
Ahh! use oil instead instead of water or an actual wax solvent (usually the oil that comes with a wax kit has a solvent in it for afterwards) hope that helps!
Damian95 16
That must be a hella best friend.
hessel 13
looks like you are in( puts on glasses) a sticky situation YEEEEAAAAAHHHH
stepymac 15
Get back at him By getting him to have his legs armpits chest and butt hairs waxed Record everything!
Ian7890 23
Hey have you heard of this thing called punctuation?
s13495 19
Another perfectly decent comment hidden because people can't accept a missed comma... *sigh*
mmizbbz210 13
48, Im glad you're on this side of the line. People on here go through so much trouble to point out the first mistake they can find. We are but human and can't even make a mistake without people flippin' their lids.
Wowxoxo 17
48, commas wouldn't fix the comment, periods would though!
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
People who make honest mistakes don't bother me. It's the people who can't take the time to form a coherent sentence and cut corners by skipping letters and using absolutely no punctuation whatsoever that really get under my skin. Internet/text lingo has replaced proper English for some people and that's what saddens me.
bucketsoftacos 4
Wax his nipples when he's sleeping like that one girl did for a prank.
jedrools 16
well now op's husband has some valuable information when she's scared her legs go together so when she's brave they spread. NO COMMAS, BITCHES
roxxyfoxxy3 25
Yes, there is... You failed at not putting commas... I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing, or be impressed.
kelseydianee 11
Sounds like a sticky Situation
Ian7890 23
Over used, just stop.
uhhSavage 22
Hey, I thought it was used well.
JJ_Rokk 10
I just think its funny that 63 got 15 likes supporting a comment that got negative 2.
NarbPie 2
I guess...it's a sticky situation...
RoboCunnilingus 23
What are the odds that two different people thought this same terrible comment at the exact same time?
mdovo 9
Waxing down there really doesn't hurt I don't know why everybody complains about it!!
Megan639 16
it doesn't hurt for me, it just doesn't work at all.
Charryboo 11
Steal ****** much..
ZeroPath5 16
Vaginas can be stolen now...? Damn, sorry women.
mmaflake 19
or steel ******? maybe?
mdovo 9
Hahahahahaha
Thundering_Jibbs 13
Quit being a pussy and suck it up!
OneGirlsLife 20
Why is being called a pussy an insult. First off if you have one you are f*cking strong cause you have to deal with the worst pain ever every month. And I bet if you had a "pussy" you wouldn't be able to tolerate the pain that comes with it. So you're basically saying that she needs to quit being strong.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
I don't know if I'd classify pmsing as the worst pain ever.. Lots of other injuries much, much worse.
alphatoomega 21
There is childbirth, though.
askingandy 23
Stop being so dramatic about periods, it's not even that bad. Suffer through that half hour before your pain killers kick in and put in a tampon to stop any Niagara Falls feeling you get. The worst thing I've EVER felt that wasn't able to be dealt with easily is when my hormones get thrown off so bad that I start vomiting for a day.
Chumsword 8
#52, that is probably the most presumptuous comment I've ever read on this site. Your assuming that NO pain is worse than a period? Maybe a visit to the doc is in order, or start taking birth control pills.. they helped with my sister's period.
OneGirlsLife 20
@71 "no uterus no opinion" Rachel Green, Friends
SanchoBob 3
There's also kick to the nuts
ZeroPath5 16
73, If you use friends quotes to support your opinion instead of forming your own arguments, then that's just sad. I could say "no dick no opinion" too, protect those things or suffer the consequences. I may not understand the pain of a period, but you don't understand the pain of a sharp kick to the nuts either. To assume periods are the worse pain possible is a huge assumption
rocker_chick105 31
69- while I agree a lot of girls freak out over it, sometimes it is bad. You puked one time while on your period? I used to puke for the first two days, every time (which is why I take medicine now). Some have it better than others, some don't.
Chumsword 8
Ohhh #73.... I can only imagine your outrage if I spouted off something half as sexist.. Oh well, live in your shell of ignorance and blame no one but yourself when people don't want to listen to your uneducated feminist dribble.
OneGirlsLife 20
Let me educate you a little but here cause I'm not sure you know what a period is. A period is when a girls uterus stops the blood flow to it. It then sheds off dead tissues which causes: cramps, vomiting, and diarrhea. Some women can take pills and it will make the pain go somewhat away, others are not so lucky. But I'm so sorry that i came off as sexist by saying if you don't have a uterus then you don't have an opinion about the period, cause you obviously know the pain of one. And go ahead and call me a feminist cause you know what, I am. And there's not anything wrong with that.
ZeroPath5 16
Well 87, there's nothing wrong with being a feminist in the least bit (even though I already believe equal rights already exists...it was much worse before).........however, when you start spewing the whole "you don't understand how a woman feels!" Crap, then you're in the developing stage of a feminazi, as people call it. The purpose of feminism is to promote equality, so I don't know how complaining about the pain of periods supports a feminist's belief of equality... Instead, in my opinion, it makes them look weaker, as if they can't endure pain without whining to people. Now I know what a period is, it's pretty ignorant to think we don't know what happens, we're all educated here. Sure you vomit and have cramps but guys have cramps and vomit after a hard day at the gym, I know I've done that a few times. Bottom line, don't make assumptions about what's "the worst pain in the world"
addioty 19
57, you're a guy so you wouldn't understand. You get terrible migraines, pains that feel like a knife is being twisted in your side, your emotions are off the wall, you feel like you have a bad bladder infection, and you also feel like you're peeing yourself. Cravings are crazy, and you just don't do what to do. I often have to be picked up from school due to the pain.
MadMaddyson 10
Us women have got to be, like, the most Metal beings on Earth. I mean we bleed for a week straight, I'm sure if you men tried that you would die. then there's the whole child birth thing, I mean seriously? we grow another living being in us for nine months, then we expel it in a mass of pain and blood. Can you dudes do that? no? I didn't think so.
addioty 19
#93, you are an ignorant child. Women are weaker because they endure horrible pains men probably would cringe at? That totally makes sense! As friends has taught me - no uterus, no opinion. Stop acting like you know how it feels to go through a period. Feels like you're being stabbed in your side, you have a migraine, crave random things and cry a lot. Women go through more pain men could ever imagine therefore deserving the right to complain.
OneGirlsLife 20
Oh yes equality already exist, please go tell that to all the women who can't have an abortion because its illegal. And I am not being a feminist by saying how bad the period hurts. You said I was being one and I just said that I was one. And I know the period isn't the worst pain in the world but I was trying to make a point. But you just came in and told my that it wasn't bad. But you cannot tell me that because you've never had one so you will never know how it feels. So yes the period isn't the worst pain in the world, tho, it does hurt and it comes every month for a week. And you push yourself to go to the gym and give yourself cramps and vomit, women don't have any control over it. Anyway I'm sorry that it makes me a sexist and feminist when I try to make a point about something you know nothing about. My bad.
SumBur 11
Why does your best friend have to help you? That relationship will never be the same.
annie_nk 22
Perhaps seeing her best friends ****** doesn't make her squeamish.
cryptic26 12
Because that's what they're supppose to do. Help.
SumBur 11
But washing each other's genitals is on an entirely different level.
strike2867 13
You'd think it would be the husband that helps.
queerdragon 20
36- I doubt Op can see her genitals completely so her friend is likely not washing them so much as dumping hot water hoping it will come off.
Megan639 16
#36 you must have never had a best friend.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Maybe the best friend is bisexual or a lesbian.
TheAbstract 15
Maybe your best friends sexual orientation doesn't matter at all?
MerrikBarbarian 9
Agreed. Best friends you are often very comfortable with. Gender isn't relevant. I'm a girl, my best friend is a guy. We have seen each other naked. Hair dying, tick checks, costume building, body paint practice for performance... Maybe it's a theatre/artist thing, but seeing someone naked isn't really a big deal.
T1A2Z3 34
I'm sure every guy you date I'd very comfortable with that...
ShoyuSauceSoup 26
Perhaps her best friend is a professional waxer and was helping her doing it.
roxxyfoxxy3 25
Exactly! If your close enough to them, it's just like they're a sibling.
T1A2Z3 34
You wash the genitalia of your siblings??
AestheticGuy 21
@36 Maybe they're not afraid of their own anatomy unlike you. Maybe you should put the bible down.
Helmut Arias Rodriguez 21
Ummmm..... what the actual ****?
ZombieInConverse 13
Even though he didnt know what would happen, Your husband acted like an asshole.
askingandy 23
A husband trying to scare you isn't necessarily being an asshole... I think it'd fun when my boyfriend does that stuff. Just not in this particular situation, obviously. Men don't generally have any knowledge or experience with waxing, so he probably just didn't know what a little jump scare would lead to.
Wizardo 33
I guess wax on, wax off isn't gonna work here is it?
peanutfoo 19
You are one of my new favorite commenters:)
raaron773 19
Hahaha good one :D
Lish2014 15
Sounds like a sticky situation.
xSunnyOlivia 17
You're about 3 comments too late, my friend.