Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, my son tried my great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML
Today, I noticed that my 80-year-old mother has gone through 50+ bottles of my home-made wine. She only moved in with me a month ago. And now I have no wine. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML
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Top comments
littlem91 29
He's going to make a great college student one day.
benimin 6
God bless America...
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Comments (92)
littlem91 29
He's going to make a great college student one day.
ositoakaluis 16
he is an idiot grape juice alone won't make whine he needs to add baking powder to start the fermentation process
Welshite 39
#18: I would say you are already an expert at making whines.
epicwaffles 7
Stop wining OP.
rabies_suck 4
you need yeas and heatt not baking powder.
B1ackthesun 31
Baking powder 18? What on earth will that do? You need yeast to start fermentation. Yeast occurs naturally around us all the time which is why some wines are 'wild ferment' meaning no yeast was added and just the yeast that was naturally sitting on the skin caused the ferment . Chances are he would get something from it (especially if he has exposed it to air) but unless monitored properly the ferment will probably become stuck and not contain much alcohol. Either way it will taste awful!
ElementaryEdGuy 18
I just want to point out that this is NOT at all an FML. Now you have a lot of grape juice, and grape juice is delicious.
ElementaryEdGuy 18
My comment was moderated for saying grape juice is delicious. What the heck.
benimin 6
God bless America...
Damian95 16
Land of the free and home of the brave.
littlemoon23 7
More like land of the free and home of the stupid.
thisguy9643 6
'Murica
Welshite 39
Grape juice into wine isn't that impressive. When he's able to turn water into wine, then I'll be impressed. I'll be presenting five gallon buckets of water to him.
graceinsheepwear 33
Let's hope you can get through the crowds of the sick and the lame without spilling too much of the water first.
EMTchic 14
It'll ferment eventually... I mean, the general idea isn't entirely wrong.
cathyfang1533 12
It won't turn into wine because you need yeast to make wine. It'll ferment into something, but I'm not sure you'll like drinking it....
stanjohnson 11
Fermenting is yeast turning sugar into alcohol and CO2. Without yeast it may decay, but it won't ferment.
hogman500 8
Yeast are not the only bacteria capable of fermentation there is no guarantee it would form the correct type of alcohol though. Even human cells can perform fermentation in a lack of oxygen it's what forms lactic acid.
WR4 10
Somebody isn't getting a job at a brewery
Catkam623 27
Getting apple cider then letting it mellow can turn it alcoholic...
mbuck87 19
Isn't apple cider alcoholic anyway?
monnanon 13
not all of it. we made apple cider using a mixture of apple juice. brown sugar and spices and there was not a drop of alcohol. it was an american recipe, it gets served to kids at halloween and other autumn/winter holidays.
outoftown 26
40 - You're thinking of hard cider.
Elendil_fml 10
It depends what country you're in. In America, almost never. In England? Almost always.
infamousjonnx 3
really?
Alastor13X 8
You have to watch it with apples. It can also ferment into vinegar from what I've read. That is why most people who home brew wine don't recommend using them.
laya_fml 26
At least he has some concept of fermentation ?
ZeroPath5 16
All the black people from that store went home with disappointed faces.
cuppycakeslove 20
When he's out replace the grape juice with apple juice. His confusion will be hilarious
cathyfang1533 12
Then tell him that the grape juice turned into white wine.
kee_breezy32 34
lol then he'll really be upset if he drank it and didn't get a buzz, lmao.
jkmartinjk 16
^^Placebo affect. I'm sure he'd think he was drunk if his dad told him it was wine.
LaLa_xo 14
Next thing you know he's going to hide some milk under there and wait for it to turn into cheese.
alaen23 23
You mean it doesn't work?! (Jk)