Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML
Today, I found my bike that was stolen a week ago in front of someone's house. Now this wouldn't have been a problem if my husband didn't steal it to go meet with his girlfriend. FML
Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML
Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML
Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML
Today, I was at Goodwill and I saw my bike, which was stolen from me a couple of weeks ago. It was a gift that my mom gave me for my birthday. The bike was being sold for 65 dollars. I had to buy it. FML
Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
Today, I was walking home from work going over a railway-bridge, when a 12 year old boy standing at the bottom asks if I could help him carry his bike up, as he couldn't lift it. I did it for him, and was greeted on the other side by his father - who thought I was stealing it and hit me. FML
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Top comments
kozzard 17
If you can prove it was your bike, the police can get it returned to you.
Ambient25 24
That should have been the part where you either popped the tires or threw him off the bike and pedaled like crazy
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Comments (107)
kozzard 17
If you can prove it was your bike, the police can get it returned to you.
Alihb 16
if op had recorded him confessing....
jonha21 11
Fk that bro Steal it Back.
Iclickalot 2
The police can't do anything in situations like this. It was fair and square.
fareith 15
Grab the back of his shirt, pull it over his head, put your knee in his face, and ride away on the bike.
silencebabyy 23
51 in my city if you register your bike the police can do something...well only if the serial number is still there
PlastikSeraph 2
Was the bike thief's name Deebo, by any chance?
groovycrazyjoe 18
@67 yea I have your bike right here; BING BAM BOW lol
buckstop1 37
67, Friday was the shit lol. That's 1 **** for #67 ;)
lp5252 4
finders keepers!
Ambient25 24
so you agree that it's OP's bike?
BauerMegan 31
Sarcasm is a subtle language.
MichellinMan 20
If that was me, I wouldn't hesitate to beat the shit out of him.
lp5252 4
I meant, you find the douchebag who stokes the bike, and you keep his kidneys as a trophy.
Ukeee_X 19
Did you not report it closer to the time? That sucks anyway, but it's probably too late to prove now
tacojauns 45
I see your comment writing has not improved since the last time we talked
Ukeee_X 19
I see you have nothing better to do than remember insignificant things in your life and make people feel bad for mistakes
Ambient25 24
she has a point
Ukeee_X 19
Thanks, last time I royally messed up a comment I discretely explained myself over inbox to him and he was very rude to me. Who actually remembers names on FML (other than friends and "famous" ones?) :S I'm pretty certain my comments weren't that outrageous, just incredibly socially awkward
golden_warrior 23
19 - FML community does not put up with cyber bullying. If you don't get your act together then we will have to steal your account. don't worry, we will steal your account in a fair and square way.
hama806 19
Tacojauns- it's one thing to politely correct a spelling or grammar error but to insult Ukee_X 's intelligence is another issue. Stop being such a MoFoe.
IIFenix 3
The sad part is he will probably post on every one of her posts now just to be an ass.
Ukeee_X 19
I'd like to think of myself as more than the single celled organism he seems to take me for
Ambient25 24
That should have been the part where you either popped the tires or threw him off the bike and pedaled like crazy
Magicomoo 9
while yelling back 'Fair and square.' :-)
xALEXx_fml 15
sucks for you
JACKxRAWR 22
Wow, you're a lovely sensitive person.
xALEXx_fml 15
#18 At your service Captain Obvious.
JACKxRAWR 22
Awesome! Go and make me a cup of tea then please, I'm parched.
golden_warrior 23
Only that man can use stealing and fair in the same sentence. LOL
FightMyLiger 19
^^^ What about this man?
nightbirdblue 27
It would be fair of the OP to engage in the act of stealing their bike back. Magic!
AwksPenguin 5
That mans got weird reasoning :P
zevo1415 10
He makes a valid argument
Pro_Nothing 9
Steal the keys to his house and see how much he'd like to trade.
MrSarcasmic 10
but then you have to wonder. what kind of place does he live in if he's stealing a bike?
Pro_Nothing 9
If that's the case, set his cardboard box of a house on fire.
svalaedgren 18
That sucks. Hopefully you've got another bike by now
Pro_Nothing 9
Then OP can run over the thief with that one! Good thinking!