Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my sister-in-law had the nerve to hijack my baby shower to announce her pregnancy. It's all the more infuriating because we later found out that she's NOT pregnant, just a fucking attention whore. FML
Today, my sister announced that she just got engaged… right as I was in the midst of giving birth to my twin daughters. The thing is, she's not actually engaged. In fact, she's single. She just couldn't stand that I was "upstaging" her and "had to think of something fast." FML
Today, my sister announced her pregnancy at my husband's funeral. FML
Today, I just found out that my sister slept with the guy that I have had a crush on for years and that she may or may not be pregnant with his child. FML
Today, I announced my first pregnancy to my family. Not to be outdone, my sister immediately announced that she "might" be getting pregnant soon. My family ended up congratulating her instead, and asked me if I would plan the baby shower. FML
Today, my half-sister lied and told my mom I got a girl at school pregnant. My mom is unreasonable at the best of times, but after a full hour trying to get me to name this nonexistent girl, she's calling every parent from school to check if their daughters are hiding a secret pregnancy. FML
Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML
Today, after years of miscarriages and desperately wanting a child, I lost my temper and screamed at my sister after she announced she'd had an abortion last month. Now no one in the family will speak to me, since I referred to her adopted kids as, "Not really her children." FML
Today, my attention-seeking sister-in-law came to my 20 week ultrasound and afterward, without my knowledge, took it upon herself to announce the gender to Facebook and call the entire family, telling them "we're having a boy" nullifying any need for the announcement I had spent 4 weeks planning. FML
Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
moonfal 21
Least you know who the father to yours is.
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Your sister sounds like a real drama queen, as if the arrival of a baby is a competition... In any case, congratulations, OP!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (215)
Vanessa_Leeann26 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You're sister sounds like she is a very together young woman.. How dare you try to upstage her! Lol
lolfood 24
Your*
Vanessa_Leeann26 17
Your*
lolfood 24
Too late.
TourettesGuyFTW 25
Your*
Vanessa_Leeann26 17
Got it. My phone auto corrected
ohgeejosee 19
Im much more excited for OP! Its refreshing to know that some people actually get married before having children nowadays!
sourgirl101 28
41, After reading your bio, I find it odd that you would come across as judgmental.
sourgirl101 28
Now I sound judgmental. It was rude of me. I meant no harm.
ohgeejosee 19
#71, Im aware that my profile tells that Im 17 with a 2 year old. But I wasn't aware that it said Im a high school ***** who doesn't know who the father is. In fact, its very opposite. I didn't mean to be judgmental, but what else can you take from this post? Haha
FaygoAndMiracles 18
But you aren't married, and yet your post is saying "Its refreshing to know that some people actually get married before having children nowadays!". You might not be a "high school *****", but you aren't married.
ohgeejosee 19
#78, I never said I was married. I never said anything about myself. I just said it was refreshing to see that people still DO wait. Because I honestly do :)
ohgeejosee 19
And #79, she's 18 months, I rounded it. I was 16 when I had my daughter. I've been graduated from high school for 2 years now, as well. I graduated early. Im in my second year of college, I have a part time job, I've never drank or anything like that and I spend every second of my time out of school or work with her. Im actually pretty committed lol. Her father is not involved, I don't accept child support because I don't need it. My daughter is extremely well mannered and beyond sweet, I know Im a great mother. How I got pregnant, though? Well that's something locked in the vault.
doctorhook86 24
81: Your profile is a part of this. You said you think it's nice to see people waiting till marriage to have kids, but your profile indicates that you did not.
GoodLookingGeese 10
You're !!!! Muhahahaha
Vanessa_Leeann26 17
I, in no way, meant to imply that I was not happy for op.. My comment was intended to be sarcastic.. But congrats to the op.
Andrew910 5
Ur****
lolfood 24
Ahhh, the old "my phone autocorrected" excuse.
9lashes 15
Why can people never seem to understand the difference between you're and your >.
CharresBarkrey 15
142 - I struggle with understanding this as well. Of all the common grammar mistakes, this one is actually spelled out for you. The contraction 'you're' is literally 'you are' put together. It's missing one letter, how much more easy could it be to understand? Drives me crazy.
laxbro4769 6
I'm not sure if you've noticed but you got first comment on a buncha posts today...
lambda_fml 40
#124, congratulations to you too!
MusoManiac 4
Assuming this is sarcasm... What's with all the negative votes?
WeaselBee42 6
138- yes the autocorrect excuse, which so often turns out to be true. I don't see why she's getting so much hate. Yes she used the wrong 'your' and that drives me crazy, but to have this many comments about just that and nothing to do with the actual comment or fml. Y'all should all calm your **** and shut up
rcarr18821 1
Omgsh who the hell cares if he mispelled one word gees damn grammar nazis
OBTrice 15
We'll We'll We'll if it isn't autocorrect
moonfal 21
Least you know who the father to yours is.
annie_nk 22
Oh please say that to her OP. That'd shut her up.
ptoka 20
Why interrupt a perfectly good Maury appearance!
vvinter 6
Apply water to burn area
jessie1 9
Oh yeah 45, try and make her life worse. Good plan. As she is in high school, pregnant and without the support of a partner to father the baby, she clearly doesn't have enough troubles as it is. Her family is the last thing she has left to take care of her and her child, maybe a little understanding could be granted.
monkurt 5
She won't have family for long with an attitude like that. What, does OP need to get un-pregnant to appease her sister? This reminds me of the time my brother was in the hospital and I passed out because I get sick in hospitals and he accused me of doing it on purpose to "steal his attention"
calipilot227 16
Twinkle twinkle little ****, name a guy you haven't f*cked...
heygirlie777 21
75- OP's sister made her own life worse by deciding that sex in high school is a good idea...
kyu_Q 19
@75 while it is sad that OP's sister is in the position she is in that's on her. I'm sure condoms are available if you can abstain. Secondly why not be happy for your sister? And it's hard to 'upstage' someone two months after the event. Yes a pregnancy lasts for 9 months but being a bitch to your sister who has been trying for two years is just the thing an attention grubbing uhhh,....person would do
EmberEyes 16
Okay wait. It's HER fault for not using protection 75. Don't event try to argue about making her feel bad.
cbwjm 8
Plot twist: The father isn't the husband.
moonfal 21
Another Plot Twist: Op's husband is the father to her sister's baby.
Rababco 29
@200 Well, maybe she used protection but she got pregnant anyway, like the condom broke or something. It's unlikely but possible.
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Your sister sounds like a real drama queen, as if the arrival of a baby is a competition... In any case, congratulations, OP!
Inciter 33
My fiance's 16 year old cousin did the same thing when I went into labor with my son not long after she announced her pregnancy. Some teenagers are just entitled brats.
lilhellian 26
Sigh, unfortunately a good bitch slap is probably illegal..
bettyboop428 24
Kids these days make me scared to see what it will be like when my daughter gets to be that age.
ApollosMyth 22
Just raise her firmly and I'm sure she'll be fine. :P
IamBunghole 9
As long as you raise her right, you have nothing to be worried about.
SilverFoxx 19
I have the exact same fear XD
appelflap 22
My dad gave me some great advice on contraception. Asperine. You take one and keep it between your knees. No way to get pregnant, at all :) i am sure your daughter will be fine, though.
CH4O 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
145 - I've spent around 20 minutes re-reading your comment, googling information and consulting ... "Top" men regarding this statement. Results aren't in yet, but I'm going to take a stab at it and say... Aspirin doesn't stop you from getting pregnant. Don't quote me on that, still waiting on results from our.. "Top" men. I can't even begin to think how you keep an aspirin between your knees.
n3rdzgotskillz 29
160 - I think it was supposed to be a joke. Holding Aspirin between your knees means you can't open your legs. I'm sure she does not actually believe that Aspirin is a valid form of contraception.
appelflap 22
Yes, you are correct. It is indeed a funny way to say to keep your legs closed. :) thank you for pointing this out
TourettesGuyFTW 25
160- you're in the Navy, don't they teach how to think outside the box any more? Would you take the phrase "fire in the hole" literally too, and pour water on it??
CH4O 10
184 - No, that was cut out of the budget.
Irchell 17
Gefeliciteerd! En rot van je zusje! Hopelijk draait ze bij!
TourettesGuyFTW 25
Say whaaaaat??
toooldforthis 19
Well said :)
TourettesGuyFTW 25
I was half-tempted to quote Samuel L Jackson and ask: "English motherf----r, do you speak it?".
Irchell 17
I do speak it, but OP is Dutch so it seemed appropriate.
TourettesGuyFTW 25
(I was joking)
Bubbelz 25
Gefeliciteerd! Dat zal vast verbaasde gezichten opleveren :)
SuperDanielNL 23
Inderdaad, maar dat hele Nederlands staat best apart op FML.
appelflap 22
Helemaal mee eens.
upallnight11 19
Had echt niet verwacht om ooit comments in het Nederlands te zien op FML
Redalibi 12
Ja absoluut vaag om hier te zien dat we met z'n alle lekker Nederlands te gaan praten :)
DutchBasterd 15
als we dan toch bezig zijn :) gefeliciteerd!
Marjo86 29
Nou inderdaad... gefeliciteerd!
Seriously_FML_ 4
Nederlands. Ehm. Hoe anders. Haha.
lVluse 15
1-800-Choke-that-hoe
Shortay123 14
I called that once, it was very effective. Would suggest (:
Wizardo 33
1-800-Pop-Yo-Cherry *pop*
Sir_ND_Pity 35
I always appreciate it when companies attempt to be clever with their phone numbers on commercials by putting words in. But sometimes they try too hard. For example, I saw this commercial and they were like "Call 1-800-I-REALLY-ENJOY-CARPETING". Salesperson: Hello, welcome to Carpet King! Me: Hold on, I'm barely on "ENJOY"...! You are good, I can see why they hired you.
michabailey 8
31: The number is actually just 1-800-I-REALLY. They can add whatever they want to that, but it's just the first 7 that are used to connect the call.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
123 - Thank you :-) funny thing is that this was an attempt at a joke. As you can see by the downvotes I received, it wasn't as funny as I thought :3 oh, well. Try and try again. Unless, of course, I fail miserably again, in which case I should probably quit while I'm ahead :3
Emily062611 6
Hey! That's one of my favorite Mitch Hedberg quotes!
killer6969 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
1-800-kill-that-****
pfx2_fml 15
What the hell?!?! Are you trying to upstage number 8?
flockz 19
killer has been trying to say that comment for years.
Soloman212 28
This thread brought tears to my eyes. I'm not sure if it was intentional on #12's part, but it's perfect.
NickaPLZ 26
What's wrong with you?! Why would you upstage her like that?!
Caitie_kid 8
Lol! OP should make a huge fuss when her sister goes into labor and say that she's "upstaging" her with her labor.
Speshelphreak 13
****** these days >.>
blick457 4
Amen.
TourettesGuyFTW 25
I'm sure OP didn't submit the FML with the intention that everyone constantly remind her her younger sister's a *****.
Speshelphreak 13
Might not have obviously said it but it's very apparent in the "she doesn't know who the father is" portion of the post
Bunny21 11
This is exactly what I was going to say.
Pstraka6 20
Well she is young and needs something to look forward to, but a child is s blessing no matter what! So congratulations!
mkcherry 14
I hate when people say children are blessings. children are the result of simple biology, anyone who has sex can become a parent regardless of them deserving/wanting/being capable of rearing a child. For example rape babies aren't a blessing, you'd think an omniscient God could find a better way to give you a gift; something like a man who loves you and sticks around for your pregnancy. If you don't want the results of your biological accidents you can give it to people who do but children can and sometimes do ruin people's lives, they aren't one size fits all blessings.
FlowerMama 20
97 - *Children* do not ruin lives; the choices that lead to them do.
JessiKitty_lol 7
A baby is not something a teenager should look forward to.
CharresBarkrey 15
97 - Not anyone who has sex can become a parent. Believe it or not there are actually health issues that leave men and women physically incapable of having a child.