Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my dad texted me, "I love u." I replied, "I love you too dad... are you drunk?" He answers back, "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML
Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
floozle702 7
I wonder what he would have done if you said yes to both...
DocBastard 40
I imagine your dad to be like Captain Oveur from "Airplane!": "Do you like gladiator movies? Do you like when your dog grabs your leg and runs up and down? Ever seen a grown man naked?"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (43)
CreepInTheCorner 11
Well at least you know that you can do drugs now..
DudeEvil 22
What? She can do drugs and perhaps ruin her life because daddy approves?
182crazyking 9
Jesus stop advising drug use
floozle702 7
I wonder what he would have done if you said yes to both...
HaneenDixon 16
I'd assume he'd either high five her or ask for some. Or maybe both.
FlamingTacos 7
He wants you to be living like Larry
hryffff 11
Did you show any signs of depression?
DragonPorn 15
I hate when people take shit so seriously. You're not taking a record breaking dump, chill.
DocBastard 40
I imagine your dad to be like Captain Oveur from "Airplane!": "Do you like gladiator movies? Do you like when your dog grabs your leg and runs up and down? Ever seen a grown man naked?"
Enslaved 38
"Surely you can't be serious." :P
gc327072 31
^I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.
olpally 33
This movie is on HBO channel right now! Lmao! :D
EmilieAutumn 7
Seeing parents getting drunk in front of their kids makes me never want to drink.
generalasskicker 12
Why
Xotoolyxo 16
What a lovely dad, I'm a bit jealous
Bakarra 22
Yea c'mon guys lighten up on the dad! He just wants to know if OP would be down for a hangover status adventure that might involve one of them tragically dying...
SaxophoneHero 12
Eh, might as well do drugs. Then, when you get addicted, make him pay for rehab.
Blahshabadada 10
Completely ruin your life because of something your drunk father said? Genius Idea! -.-
SaxophoneHero 12
Hey, you can meet some quality people in rehab!
Silly_Lilly6969 23
Haha sounds like something my mom would do