Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
Today, the woman who sits behind me in class showed up. She shrieks in laughter until she has coughing fits every time anything even remotely sexual is mentioned, including evidence in sexual assault cases. Lectures are 3 hours long, twice a week, and I need this class to graduate. FML
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML
Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me during an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML
Today, I sat through an incredibly long and tedious class lecture. Just as my professor was nearing the end of his lecture, the resident stoner loudly yawned and asked what we'd been talking about for the past hour. We got to hear most of the lecture all over again. FML
Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming, "Sexy!" The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML
Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter, followed by embarrassment. FML
Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML
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Top comments
BadKitty14 7
Stare back, maybe with a twitch or a facial tick, see how he likes it.
BrookieAnn 19
I bet if you actually talked to him he'd be good for months...
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Comments (82)
BadKitty14 7
Stare back, maybe with a twitch or a facial tick, see how he likes it.
mif_fml 27
Give 'em a wink.
gc327072 30
*wank
courtney680 17
What a creep ass
AKGirlinSD 20
I want to know if OP is a guy or a girl. Or am I the only curious one here? Either way, the creepy guy seems as if he hasn't gotten any action or is a sex addict. OP, change seats, if able.
BrookieAnn 19
I bet if you actually talked to him he'd be good for months...
zandalee 19
Months of what? Wanking? ;)
BrookieAnn 19
I thought that was implied ;D haha feel bad for OP tho
GingerNinja7 17
That might not be good, #2, he might need more of OP if she talks to him
gotaplanstan 28
Last I checked OP's gender is unknown. The FML is much more interesting that way though anyways :p
joeyl1990 28
why is that more interesting?
AKGirlinSD 20
Damnit #43, I just posted something similar about who is curious of the gender of OP. You beat me to it *shakes my fist in the air!
chelsearenaeee 16
Looks like you need a taser.
license2chill 5
Looks like someone wants some live actions
shorty6823 28
I think I'd rather deal with the immature giggling. At least that ends when the class does.
MidnaLink 33
What the hell kind of hint is staring at someone like that? Unless he thinks she (I can only presume) seems to be like a *****, that is.
dorworters 9
Saying "had to re-live" is a little immature itself, though. It seems as though you might have been the one giggling in middle school.
shorty6823 28
Had to re-live makes it sound painful
JustKittyKat 24
I'm sure he's glad you took the hint. ;)
MidnaLink 33
What the hell kind of hint is staring at someone like that? Unless he thinks she (I can only presume) seems to be like a *****, that is.
TheChelseaSays 34
Saying it twice isn't going to make is like your comment #50.
MidnaLink 33
Actually I'm only seeing one copy of my comment. When I entered it last night it didn't show up (even from refreshing), so I wrote again and it showed up.
MidnaLink 33
Oh, I see. I didn't know I posted to the wrong comment the first time. My bad.
KingDead 18
I would make him feel just as uncomfortable!
wlddog 14
It usually helps if you pretend everyone else is the class is naked. No wait... That may help with something else. Ok, pretend YOU are naked. Yeah, that always works. You pretend you just got out of the shower and they are standing there with handcuffs and duct tape. Hmmm.... That may be bad advice as well. Perhaps you should just ignore them.
thosedogtags 8
I'd stare back, making the most horrible and horrifying facial expression ever. Trust me.. It works! They'll either think you're crazy or.. Well, crazy! Haha but in the end, he'll leave you alone!
PandaKitteh 20
The Jenna Marbles face.
thosedogtags 8
That's what I was getting at!(:
Mossears133 15
33- and when that doesn't work, turn into a velociraptor!
mangoboy1 19
How do you not laugh when the teacher says penis?
3rdbass 9
Because if you do that, no one's ever going to take it.
SaturnV 25
Sexual topics just become less awkward and embarrassing after you survive puberty (as difficult as that may be for anyone who is currently in puberty to believe). Additionally, lectures about these things in a scientific context are tend to be very clinical and mechanical - not humorous at all (unless the presenter is trying to be funny).
AssTard 15
This reminds me of Twilight where that sparkly guy stares at the depressed girl akwardly. Wait, what, I haven't seen Twilight...
QQmore_fml 18
Do something crazy, like staring back while picking your nose.