Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year-old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML
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Top comments
TheOneTC 8
They're basically the same
shireman97 6
Aren't you a quick thinker
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Comments (99)
TheOneTC 8
They're basically the same
doubleddun 9
As long as they don't tell your parents...
EpicSquishii 21
I can't even remember losing my first tooth :/ I bet I looked ******* adorable afterward though.
JocelynKaulitz 28
You win some you lose some.
xcarxcrashx 9
67 I think you over thought it. I'm pretty sure 1 was being sarcastic.
killmoose 5
Are you sure you don't overuse it, 70?
kathuzada 6
Actually you get paid to lose the tooth
IscoreOnU 19
It might not have been said clearly enough. 67 you're ******* stupid. I don't understand people...
shireman97 6
Aren't you a quick thinker
Altair18 10
Subconscious mind : 1 Rational mind: 0
nephilim241 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Doesn't matter, had sex
Random_Red 12
Please make up a more orignal comment please. This phrase is used FAR too much on FML
hithereimcasey 3
Please use proper grammar please
BulldogHoops 14
49- When correcting grammar, it is advised to finish your sentence with a period.
Sandman366 6
Did you apply for the Department of Redundancy Department position? (Sorry, been stuck in TV Tropes for days...again.)
vocaloidtiger 12
49 ~ Please stop repeating words ... Please.
Dracoboxer357 35
Hopefully not at the same ages. :p
seandoc 13
I wonder how the conversation went after that remark... ?
MrSassypants 33
*after a long awkward pause* "So.... where did you lose it?" "In the kitchen...." "Me too!" *another long awkward pause*
lilhellian 26
*Random elderly lady walks up after hearing convo* I lost mine in the kitchen to!
ballettillidie 8
I think it would just be awkward silence...
Vimy 6
Or if they're comfortable and close with each other, added with a little sprinkle of good humour, I can imagine a high-five.
SerpentBoy 8
clean out your brain to mouth filter, it will help reduce word vomit.
burningmatch 3
I bet you're a hit in every tea party. So amusing.
KyleHolt 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hahaha that's great, he'll live!
KyleHolt 7
Wow def though op said she was talking to her new boyfriend and her ex use to live there. My thought was more funny
Scands_59 14
Geez, what a way to shoot someone down, you're lack of friendliness is an FML.
PantyGAMES 10
^Your*
KyleHolt 7
Wow ouch, not sure why I needed that?? And also "hmm." Is not a complete sentence. Also who cares about correct punctuation while typing on a phone??
ChazzyWazzy1998 10
The world hated grammar nazis care, as long as the comment is readable, it's fine :-)
xcarxcrashx 9
60, don't argue with Noor. You just won't win.
redmane 21
60- Your brain cares. I've noticed kids writing school papers with this language. "Wow" and "ouch" are not sentences but should have a period or exclamation mark placed for their expressive manner. You can't start a sentence with "and." "Also," is a transitional phrase and you should have placed a comma. "not sure why I needed that??" is not a complete sentence. Where's the subject at the beginning? The use of a second question mark is unnecessary. Being a grammar nazi isn't a bad thing. We're supporting the art of written and oral language.
KyleHolt 7
Sorry I'm not writing a essay. I'm on a blog speaking freely. I put the commas in those place because that's how I'm talking, I want you to read it how I'm saying it. I really don't give one shit if I forget a period. It's a blog! If you spend your time checking to see if you got everything right. You have to much time on your hands and need to get a life.
redmane 21
People copy edit and proof read as a career. You're not writing a paper, but you should always be using your knowledge to the best of your ability. That's the reason schools have a language/literature curriculum. They don't teach you these things expecting you to use it only when you're getting graded. You're wasting money and years of education. There is a difference between personal writing style and laziness.
diaspora_fml 26
Yes, way to much!
Dracoboxer357 35
87- *Stands up facing Redmane and slowly claps for the beautiful, grammatical knock out accompanied with an undeniablely logical argument.* *Turns to Kyle* Sit down, sir. At this point, to do otherwise would only prolong the suffering. ;P
KyleHolt 7
Never knew anyone cared so much how how another person wrote something? I feel like I'm being attacked over this haha! Half these people attacking me need to get laid! Maybe then you would be a happier person:)
xx000o 27
^Maybe you should take your own advice, your grammar just might improve.
thunderr 3
lmaoo!! tHeY def graMMA naZIed yo0 a$s broo ;)
shmoelover 13
Well dracoboxer, apparently Kyle enjoys prolonged suffering....it's okay though, the Fml gods put him out of his misery.
DanielleinDC 33
Small world, innit?
cuponoodles34 10
you can't just blurt stuff out like that
Dracoboxer357 35
Well apparently, you can, as everyone is free to make their own choices, however, you aren't always free from the consequences of those choices. ;P
In_some_bullshit 13
Some people literally do not have a "filter" on what they say. Doctors have told me i do not have one. It is within the frontal lobe of your brain somewhere to think before saying and nope, I do Not have it.
Dracoboxer357 35
29- You have frontal lobe inhibition? I can see where actively choosing to type what you want to instead of blurting out what you're thinking must be a relief from saying something too embarrassing. :p I don't envy you that.
KyleHolt 7
Isn't that called turrets?
CharresBarkrey 15
64 - No. Tourette Syndrome is different, Google it.
KyleHolt 7
No one can take a joke on here.
shmoelover 13
One must make a good joke before others will laugh at it.