New Romantics

By sallyfradoodle - 13/03/2020 21:00

Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 440

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Congrats

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 808

You deserved it 8 558

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 942

You deserved it 14 580

Bad timing

By Proprepourtant - 16/04/2011 11:28 - France

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 942

You deserved it 12 574

Our anniversary

By Anonymous - 27/12/2019 20:00

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 489

You deserved it 506

By Anonymous - 14/12/2013 18:50

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 917

You deserved it 9 833

By snortingspunk - 03/12/2015 12:52 - South Africa

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 449

You deserved it 4 121

By blower - 11/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 846

You deserved it 9 296

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 18:06 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 615

You deserved it 4 101

By Maddii1112 - 10/08/2016 19:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he loved me for the first time in a way I'll never forget. In fact, his exact words were, "You're not the only one that I love." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 562

You deserved it 1 107

First time?

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 270

You deserved it 6 898

Aru Naddon 6

Friday 13 March 2020 21:13

When you think about it...it’s kind of nice. 🤷🏽‍♀️

RichardPencil 30

Friday 13 March 2020 22:12

That escalated quickly. I'd say he won that round. What else you got?

Comments

Aru Naddon 6

Friday 13 March 2020 21:13

When you think about it...it’s kind of nice. 🤷🏽‍♀️

RichardPencil 30

Friday 13 March 2020 22:12

That escalated quickly. I'd say he won that round. What else you got?

jbuckets_404 38

Friday 13 March 2020 23:13

Ah, love at first sight!

fjvitt 14

Saturday 14 March 2020 0:55

The first....but not the last???

jk_waks 20

Saturday 14 March 2020 4:16

Made for each other! <3

MitiMiki 16

Saturday 14 March 2020 10:59

Kinda romantic, in a way..

Gubbon 17

Saturday 14 March 2020 16:36

Cute.

WistayShlaio82 13

Sunday 15 March 2020 1:09

You have nice taste in boys. I feel like you have a long line of energy drinking obey wearing boys in your future

C_J_21 2

Sunday 15 March 2020 23:29

Maybe you can be my lucky number 345 😏😂

boogerjt 6

Monday 16 March 2020 2:53

I think that quite a compliment.

Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Fight Family Kids Love Relatable Students Work Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Relationship advice Cheating Pregnancy Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Revenge Food Cats

The Top

Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 645

You deserved it 3 615

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 720

You deserved it 4 756

The Top

Today, at a company event, there was a break. The Blue Danube was playing. Bored, I absentmindedly start singing, “My butt is ugly” to the melody. I forgot that my mic was on and the whole auditorium heard. Not only was I sent home, but my boss wants to “discuss” it on Monday at the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 1 111

Today, my mom got arrested for statutory rape. She apparently had sex with my best friend during a cookout, which was to celebrate my dad's cancer going into remission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 197

You deserved it 161

Today, my live-in boyfriend spent yet another evening trying to bait Twitch streamers into a debate about stuff he barely understands. He's obsessed with "growing his audience", and I'm getting tired of his bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 156

Today, I went to get an MRI for preventive care. The diagnosis was great, but I ended up having complications with the contrast, so now I have terrible muscle pain and have to see more doctors. I have mixed feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 89

Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 921

You deserved it 1 719

Today, one of my kids thought it would be funny to superglue me to my armchair while I was asleep, except they’re idiots who used way too much. I am now fused to the cushions and had to call an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 135