Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked, "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied, "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I confidently walked into what I thought was my friend's apartment for a party, only to find a confused elderly couple staring at me. Turns out, I was not only three doors down from where I thought his front door was, I was also on the wrong floor. FML
Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2 p.m. and screamed out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML
Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
Today, an old friend and I reconnected. Everything was going fine until he threatened to visit me at work. I didn't know he knew my place of employment, so I replied, "Do you know where I live too?" He answered, "Would you hate me if I did?" FML
Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents' house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad, and I were sitting in the living room when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There's some creepy hobo man outside messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML
Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML
Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML
Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML
Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML
Today, I was waiting for my friend outside a restaurant when a man walked up and said, “You must be Sarah.” I said no to get rid of him. He apologized and walked away. Two minutes later, my friend arrived and asked why I was talking to her dad. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Isaac was probably waiting for you in the basement. You should have graciously accepted your host's offer of a roofie-laced drink and slam it down like a champ. Then, accompany him to the basement to see Isaac.
dsbs 9
Do you like fish sticks?
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Comments (293)
dsbs 9
Do you like fish sticks?
Jiplo 18
yes do you?
DKParth13 5
We got some Popsicle sticks in cellar.... Mmmmm!
Keyman1212 14
I like my fish sticks with custard thank you very much.
alliewillie 22
To all the people saying he was probably in the basement and that was his dad - do you think she stopped everything and typed this FML right on the front porch? No she would have answered the phone and told Isaac where she was (not his house apparently) and THAT'S the FML. Think!
madliibz 0
doctor who reference much? let's get married.
soccerguy2 11
29- they are joking. it obviously wasn't Isaac's dad. it was his mom.
Keyman1212 14
Whovians unite!
PeypeyTheBeeotch 1
This is so fake...
Keyman1212 14
You're 14. Your opinion is fake.
eeppiicc 8
Haha I might know the isaac that he is talking about, his dad is very creepy and likes to weird out children plus they have a basement which is where we always hang out and he lives in Kansas but I'm sure there's a lot of people like that.
Sebastian_NG 17
Oh, and 29 - You might actually want to reply to THOSE people, you sarcasm impaired little whiny bitch.
mvc_pacheco 6
"It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it's told. It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again"
CuteGinger 2
110- Don't give me nightmares.
nahgemoohc 17
Jesus had your back today
bugmenotmofo 34
121- Your profile pic gives me nightmares.
joeytheman 10
He was a sex offender guaranteed OP. That's gotta be some scary shit.
sparklemuffin 8
k
sparklemuffin 8
k
sparklemuffin 8
k
EpicSquishii 21
You, sir, are a prick
honne_tatemae 9
What are you, a gay fish?
wiredream 0
Fish fingers and custard, Pond
philipino 24
204- :O I thought it said EpicSushiiij. But no, you tricked me. Where's my sushi?
perdix 31
Isaac was probably waiting for you in the basement. You should have graciously accepted your host's offer of a roofie-laced drink and slam it down like a champ. Then, accompany him to the basement to see Isaac.
lerouxmaster 7
I remember you, OP. We could've had a great time together... Perdix, do you plan on visting Isaac soon ? Cause he's still in my basement. I'm waiting for you...
neal001 0
WIN!!!!!
wruch 6
Says the creepy guy with the banana dick picture! Lol!
shellz102 12
Creepers, they're everywhere these days D:
Liimitless 6
They're climbin in yo windows snatchin yo people up
shellz102 12
Hide yo wife hide yo kids
Liimitless 6
Cause they rapin errbody out here
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
You are really dumb, really really dumb, fo real.
desireev 18
Today, I went to visit my friend Isaac at his house for the first time. A man who I thought was Isaacs dad answered the door and brought me down to the basement to see Isaac. I am now sitting naked in a 30ft deep hole while 'Isaacs dad' is saying "It puts the lotion on its skin".. FML
chrisnsons 2
That's what I was thinking
dbt88 15
137- I can't tell if you're being serious. If you are, it's Silence of the Lambs. If you aren't, carry on. I wasn't here.
timothyj2116 0
And If you get locked in the basement then don't worry, Isaac is trying to scare you LOL!
thatKidzmOm 10
That's the most likes I've ever seen anyone get. Whoo hoo, Perdix!!
habibiiiiiii 2
Or else it gets the hose again
missamanda6180 9
I don't know why so many people thumbed that down- I guess they're too young for a Silence reference??? That was funny. Silence Of The Lambs, people.
Snow_Daisy 7
"Buffalo Bob? Is that you?" *anxiously tugs at collar*
xrachellx24 2
Aha that is funny
desireev 18
Silence of the Lambs is a classic. I don't feel bad that everyone thumbed me down.. I feel bad for everyone who doesn't know what the reference was to.. If you haven't seen it, you need to. Then watch the rest of the series..
guy24 9
Seems legit.
kendybendy 6
That would've been funny if that was actually Isaac's dad
Jeffers123 5
U all liked her comment cause she's pretty
EpicSquishii 21
What's your point?
footbalperson09 0
people do like pretty people more
Isaac_The_Man 0
My name's Isaac... -.-
ShakeMeDown 12
You're not pretty Isaac. Therefor, thumbs down.
LOL1204 3
She's pretty. So what? Chances are most people agree with her.
Sigil 11
Who is pretty?
vannahlynn123 0
I would have just told issac to come to my house from now on.
ramboman19 8
But then Isaac's dad would know where OP lived!!!
zlo 3
So 119 is Isaac's dad
TheresNoEffingwa 7
Herbert?
CherryCola46 5
*says in Herbert's voice from Family Guy* Mmmm, that would be nice. It would be nice to know where OP lives.
BaconBoy75 2
So Isaac was in the basement?
MiniNyn 5
No, it was the wrong house. That man didn't just LOOK like a creeper, he was one :/
agentx52 13
Dude she could've died! After being raped
Llamacod 11
Or, she could have died before being raped; we don't know what this guy was into
elite_stoner 0
Or, she could have accepted, not refused the rape and now be posting this as a cover up for the planned pregnacy. oO. •think out side the box•
yuri63f6 7
Don't creepers go BOOM?
frokeyman92 9
He just needs a close friend!
neal001 0
To go hardcore with
Awesome_Guy2468 0
Omg I just loled at your pic
shots1996 8
Everyone NEEDS a close friend. HE just dont need a friend that close
JulieMarie87 7
That's just creepy!!
ggbartoli99 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This is confusing.....
dumboears 8
Creepy man was lying about it being OP's friends house. He was actually a creeper.
MikeDa1Da 14
So creeping man was a creeper?
elite_stoner 0
I thought OP was the creep? : /
kenziekatt125 8
No, you're just an idiot.(: Read it again sweetiepie.
J3R3MYY 14
Fail train!
every1luvsboners 11
It's a friendly gesture to offer a guest a ****-tail. Don't feel offended.
kyarush 10
Please come down to my basement for... A drink....
TheiMightyKhaL 2
Minus the tail.
friedchickenpie 14
I see what you did there.
LemonSquish 4
...Seems legit.