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Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML
And that's when the serial killer appeared... Oh wait, I think some of your friends are supposed to have sex, THEN the serial killer shows up. Don't worry, OP, since you're the nerdy virgin, you'll survive. Turns out horror movies do have a moral.
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