Today, after my partner of two years broke up with me, I decided to have a heart to heart with my mother about it. Her advice was to clean the house. I asked how that would make me feel better. She said that she wasn't sure, but at least the house would be clean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16723) - you totally deserved it (2360)
On 08/22/2009 at 8:43pm - love - by Loveless (man) - United States (West Virginia)
I second that. While it might not make you feel better it would be something constructive to do. Having someone sit around all day moping is not a good thing. I know your partner broke up with you, but if you let your house get messy and let everything else continue to happen around you, then you will be more depressed. The state of a house affects the state of a mind.
#4 - On 08/23/2009 at 3:15am by LaceyPatrickson
(0)This is true. I always feel better with a clean house... it's one less thing to worry about. The only thing that'll make you feel better is time, and living in a messy house will only slow the healing process down.
(+1)Another reason is to scrub away your old partners pheromones. It helps with moving on in a primal way.
(0)It keeps your mind off of things. And when you're done, and everything is nice and shiny, it just makes you feel better. Also, smelling all the cleaning products will get you kinda high. That's what happens when i close at work.
#74 - On 08/26/2009 at 12:13am by masquerade08
(+2)Some people actually clean to get their minds off of things! :]
That sucks though. Sorry to hear about your loss. FYL.
(0)You said what I was thinking. =P Definitely, cleaning the house, especially with an MP3 player in ears, is a good way to keep your mind off of your problems.
(+1)Cleaning actually does help. Not only does it takes your mind off things, but it can also give you a sense of accomplishment, which can sometimes be hard to come by after a serious breakup. It's a very good outlet, and can improve your mood entirely.
I'm sorry though OP. Maybe this will give you a chance to feel better? And afterwords... nothing's stopping you from also making cookies.
#5 - On 08/23/2009 at 3:16am by redbluegreen
(0)You'll feel better if you have a cookie!
And OP... honestly, you went to your mother for help to make you feel better. Why the hell didn't you just take her advice instead of coming here to bitch about it? You should be happy you at least have somebody to talk to, you whiner. :(
#25 - On 08/23/2009 at 5:12am by onigiriqueen
(0)It'll help get your mind off everything that's stressing you out because you feel like you're conquering something and you feel good about it. I clean when I'm stressed, and it actually helps. By the way, I think your mom is awesome =) I'm sorry about your partner though =(
Edit: Oh #5 said the exact same thing xD
(0)Great minds think alike. (;
Hopefully, if the OP takes my advice, he'll share the cookies. -crosses fingers-
#12 - On 08/23/2009 at 3:38am by redbluegreen
(0)Well, cleaning the house is just ONE of the things you can do.
What's the point is you should get your hands moving and not brood over the breakup
(+1)Definitely good advice. It's best to get your mind off the things bothering you so they don't well up and fester. And that way you can confront them when you're in a better state of mind.
I don't really see this as an FML, since your mother seems to care a lot about you.
Time truly does heal all wounds. Best of luck.
I think your mother might not know how to deal with relationships in a way you want OP. What did you want her to say? There is nothing she can force you to do. She cannot make it better with a band aid. She gave you good advice even when she wasn't certain how to deal with this. It seems like she loves you and while it seems like old fashioned advice that might make you feel like your mom wants you to be someone you are not or to be an "old fashioned" woman, you should respect her. Don't knock it until you try it. Tackle the project, do a little a day and when you are done you will have a house that will be clean of (as someone said) Partner's pheromones, you can throw out his/her old stuff, get rid of clutter. And maybe do the rooms up differently.
And while you are at it, buy a couple new outfits and go get some coffee or hang out with some old friends. Also get your hair cut. I always feel like a new woman when I have on a new outfit, a nice pair of comfortable shoes, a cute haircut and a mocha in my hand. Clean yourself up, the more care you take of yourself, fifteen minutes extra in the shower, new shampoo that smells differently, a new lipgloss, something that you change from when you were with him, well you will be a new person on the outside. And the inside will come with time.
#60 - On 08/24/2009 at 1:13pm by LaceyPatrickson
(0)If you're in a clean environment you feel much better. That's actually one of the reasons hospitals use so much white and clean several times a day.
(0)They're actually usually off tones of beige and are not as clean as you'd like to think.
#17 - On 08/23/2009 at 3:58am by redbluegreen
(0)Have you never been in a hospital? They're actually full of a ridiculous amount of germs, and are usually dirty. That's why people actually get so many infections while they're in the hospital.
I agree with your Mom. Clean the house.
#34 - On 08/23/2009 at 12:38pm by girlygirl666
(-7)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
Your mom is right on. She hates gays and is crushed that you are not giving her grandchildren.
(0)Well at least it would distract you, lol.
Don't hospitals keep things clean because they're *hospitals*?
The smell of pine and white walls gives me nightmares. Hospitals are scary shit. Don't tell her to make her house anything like a hospital, its like calling her relationship failure emotional cancer or something.
#61 - On 08/24/2009 at 1:15pm by LaceyPatrickson
(0)As long as you're not distracted by some sort of OCD element, cleaning house is a kiss away from renewal.
Way to take charge, Missy! :D
(0)it's good advice!
there are so many things in relationships that are subjective and complicated, and what's good in one breakup situation might not work in the next.
her advice sounds a little snarky, but it would distract you, give you a goal, give you something to think about that isn't your partner or your breakup. it would give you a little time to wind down before you think about dealing with your emotions. the physical effort would get some endorphins in your body moving, too, and they really will make you feel better.
plus... at least the house would be clean. :)
(0)Mom's channeling Birdie Draper in this one, but I agree. Focus on something mundane, be productive, work up a sweat, and let "the guy in the basement", as Stephen King calls it, process the breakup before you bring it to the forefront of your mind.
#24 - On 08/23/2009 at 5:07am by TheIrishJaneDoe
(0)eh your mother was right, it does work. i tend to clean when im stressed though. not depressed.
#27 - On 08/23/2009 at 6:33am by Paige_Nicole10
(0)definitely not FML. cleaning the house is good advice.
#28 - On 08/23/2009 at 6:34am by theannoyingone
(0)not an fml.
cleaning puts u in a different mindset, and u can take ur anger out on smudged counters.
dislike
(0)clean the house and then go treat yourself to something you love but rarely get to do (massage, new clothes, whatever works for you) you'll feel like a whole new person.
#31 - On 08/23/2009 at 10:24am by AshleyRose784
(0)sounds like something my mom would say to me! oh, she already has!
#37 - On 08/23/2009 at 1:27pm by itouchguy360
(0)Is it awesome to come home when your girlfriend broke up with you, then you realise you will never get blowed again and you will feel left out when your friends say they are going out with their girlfriends then having a talk with your mom about it, and she tells you to clean the house not caring about you, just caring about the fucking house? I DON'T THINK SO!
(0)I've heard that advice before from women.
Back in the 50's it would be the predominant advice.
I am assuming you have a very 'womanly' mom?
#40 - On 08/23/2009 at 2:27pm by TotallyAwesome
(0)and...? (i'm missing the part where you tell us why your life is f***ed)
#42 - On 08/23/2009 at 3:12pm by curryndricegirll
(0)Well, it would definitely take your mind off of it, and give you something to do.
#44 - On 08/23/2009 at 4:51pm by DameGreyWulf
(0)Geez, sounds like my mom. Sometimes the advice doesn't make sense, but I'm sure she was just trying to help.
(0)Whenever I start getting upset about something, I find the least organized part of my house and I clean it. It's productive, it requires attention, and in the end you have a quantifiable result. It tends to work very well. I don't think your mom was trying to be dismissive, I think that's just the way she saw it. It's quality advice.
#46 - On 08/23/2009 at 5:43pm by Escapist28
(0)I love that your nick is Escapist and you're giving us tips on escaping feelings, hehe :)
Sound advice though. I suffer with major depression and I know that when I can force myself to get up and clean, I feel way better. Even just a little tidying can make me feel better because there are tangible results and I feel like I have the power to positively affect my environment. Cleaning can be surprisingly liberating.
#47 - On 08/23/2009 at 6:45pm by nodayliketoday
(0)I'm also sorry to hear about your loss, but I agree with what others have said about doing something constructive to get your mind off of things. That's really good advice.
Now, if only your mother knew that while she was consoling you, things could've played out better.
(0)omg, whenever my boyfriend and I get into a huge fight and he leaves, I'll either play music very loudly or clean my apartment. A lot of women clean if they are stressed.. I'm not sure about most guys though.
#50 - On 08/23/2009 at 9:16pm by nikola0_o
(0)Suck it up. "I asked how that would make me feel better"? The world isn't just about you
#52 - On 08/23/2009 at 10:42pm by AlwaysRejected
(0)first of all, you're ignorant. please hang yourself after reading this. secondly, people use the word partner to describe their significant other sometimes, who may or may not be of the same gender, so hang yourself twice, once for being ignorant, the second for jumping to conclusions. I'm not saying the OP is gay straight bi or anything else, I'm just saying don't draw your own conclusions without having all of the facts. and to kill yourself. the only hate there should be in the world is towards people like you. sounds hypocritical, but the only types I'm intolerant of are people who practice intolerance based on ungrounded, old fashioned views. we're in the 21st century, not the 1700's. you really shouldn't give a fuck if someone is gay. doesn't make them a bad person. I mean, I don't understand it, but that doesnt mean I'm going to hate them for it. seriously, blacks were held down in this country based on their difference too, but we're all just friggin people here. grow up, why don't ya. I mean, I'm way out of my element here, usually being one of the offensive ones on this site, but you, sir, are plain out of line. i really just want to slap you with a bible. "the only weapon I'll ever need" for sure...(Venture Brothers FTW)
#59 - On 08/24/2009 at 11:36am by _THE_MASTER_
(0)its so fun though. really gives them a chance to prove just how ignorant they really are.
#70 - On 08/25/2009 at 10:05am by _THE_MASTER_
(0)Just do anything to keep you busy. When I am in low spirits, I usually go out for a walk. It is not the end of the world.
(+1)Homophobes, you guys really need to grow up and realize you live on a planet with some people that are *gasp* different then you. Have you ever had a relationship for 2 years and broke up? Anyway, don't listen to the people who never grew past the elementary school playground, listen to those who say you have a caring mother. Clean the house, re-arrange it a bit, make it cleaner and seem new. Takes your mind off things and gives you a new environment all the same.
Also, the term partner really can be applied to a heterosexual partner as well as a homosexual, so why jump to conclusions anyway? Why does it even matter? Do you really have nothing else productive to think about or do that you actually sit in thought about such things?
#58 - On 08/24/2009 at 10:05am by primogen18
(0)Trust your mom and clean your house, You will actually feel a lot better when your done.
#62 - On 08/24/2009 at 3:00pm by rockstarK9
(0)That's very good advice. Sure, cleaning itself won't help you feel better - but it will take your mind off of it, give you time to think and make your house clean. =P You have a very insightful mother.
(0)i hate when parents have dry humor that would be funny, but somehow isn't funny. fyl for the break-up; ydi for living with your mom.
#73 - On 08/25/2009 at 7:03pm by good_life35
When did it say he lived with his mom, only that he asked her what to do.
#75 - On 08/26/2009 at 12:35am by LaceyPatrickson
(0)lolz dat sounds lik my ma she'd say 'sweety i told u he was no good. i dontk y u dated him. u should hav stayed wt Dar(my ex who cheated on me) but u dont wonna listen. go wash da disher n swep n spot treat da kitchen n dinning room floor.' great.
#77 - On 08/26/2009 at 11:28pm by DarkAngelMea
(0)in my opinion ur mom shouldve told u somethin tht would make u feel better or actually give u real advice
#79 - On 08/28/2009 at 7:17pm by Listen2Music
