Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was mine and my husband's anniversary. He was at work so I decided to dress up "sexy." You know, the typical lacey thong and fishnets. I heard the door open, and what I thought was him was actually my brother, who'd come by to wish me a happy anniversary. FML
Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML
Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said, "Right now?" FML
Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, it was my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. We had dinner reservations to an expensive restaurant and planned to see a movie after. At least, we did, until he called to tell me he'd volunteered to work tonight. He won't get off until 2am. FML
Today, as a 1 year anniversary present, my boyfriend let me see and wear my engagement ring. He then made me give it back at the end of the day. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML
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Top comments
deadangel_fml 0
Give him anal, he'll love that shit. Lol "shit" xD
PhysOptGuy 0
they make underwear out of Slinkies now!??!?! that could be rather uncomfortable, on second thought.
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Comments (40)
deadangel_fml 0
Give him anal, he'll love that shit. Lol "shit" xD
missmontreal97 4
agreed but they should put like alarm .. but OP didn't even write who was celebrating the anniversary we had to figure it out.
sofaqueen_ 14
OP... Do you usually dress like a ***** when you go out? Or is your idea of sexy, considered modest to him?
NoctisNightshade 0
I certainly would be after that.
PhysOptGuy 0
they make underwear out of Slinkies now!??!?! that could be rather uncomfortable, on second thought.
XCaLX_fml 0
i want slinky boxers
authorkid 2
lol
hp_obsessed 0
It would... Imagine having the end pieces sticking into those parts... Ow...
gabberrs 8
That's exactly what I was thinking!
Sonalis 9
What a jerk! You should've slapped him right off the bat. #3...you're kidding, right? I think by "slinky" she meant "sexy"...
Really0_o 0
#4 chill. of course she meant sexy underwear, #3 was comical. And F that! The dude has a job while shes home sitting on her ass, she coulda helped the guy out a little. Shes not going to pay the bills by waiting at home in sexy cloths. If she had a job too, she may have done the same thing.
zakh508 0
#4: Calm the **** down, if your the type of bitch who would slap a guy for forgetting an anniversary and can't take a joke (like the slinky one) then please don't comment on the Internet. Everyone hates people like you.
Iamnotmyself 17
-4 I hope you never get married
babble 0
LOL #2
24788 7
There's a reason were whipped.
AntiChrist7 0
you chose an idiot, your fault. YDI
TiffLovesYou3695 0
DANG! That sucks! FYL definetly!
textme 0
Wow that suck that's how us guys are though haha
cmac86 24
you need to communicate better. both in your relationship and on fml. while we could understand what you were trying to say, if it were another we may not have been that lucky. so communicating is what you need to concentrate on more.