Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML
Today, I found the password to my boyfriend's MSN account. I was listed in the "booty call" category. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to find out that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML
Bisexual!
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's phone titled "People's I've had sex with". There are also dates next to the notes which represented the day he had sex with them. Not only that it was NOT me who is the last person on the list, but I also realized that the last person on the list was my best friend. And he's a guy. FML
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Charming
Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML
Assumptions
Today, I found out my boyfriend added his ex on Facebook and Instagram, all within a few days. Lucky me. FML
Today, my boyfriend referred me to me as "just a friend" to his ex. They swapped phone numbers. FML
Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's parents consider me more of a clingy friend than a girlfriend. We have been together over 5 years. FML
Top comments
Fatwahhh 10
List him as 'Penis'.
elixaaaaa 13
He's sounds really mature...
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Comments (146)
elibel 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Now ya know what he loves you for ;)
silvercamaro 22
I think that would be classified as lust, not love.
djcayo 4
well, time for payback! list him as ****** as well, it'll be hilarious
cometkeeper00 3
I'm pretty sure that after 5 years, if it's stayed monogomous, then it's just a joke. You don't only use someone for no other reason by staying with them for 5 years.
moonzombie 13
#59 You're right. I love my boyfriend, but at some point he was listed in my phone as Booty Call, This Asshole, or Your Stupid Boyfriend Taylor. It could very easily just be a joke, OP. You can still say something to him about it if it bothers you, but I wouldn't worry about it too much. And on the off chance that it wasn't a joke and he's just a dick, **** him, you'll find someone better.
ThatFancyPenn 18
64 - I'm fairly certain that OP has, in fact, been ******* him for 5 years.
Anthony1908 6
Talk to him, it could be a friends joke. Consultation is key :)
ThatNutellaTho 6
At Least If someone Had His Phone & Wanted to Text His Girlfriend Something Stupid They would Just think your a Booty Call?^-*
spooky655 1
At least he didn't list her as "boner garage"
nerevarine94 12
#89 Why Do you decide To Type like This?
elixaaaaa 13
He's sounds really mature...
chabelo 10
he's a dick
djcayo 4
and she's ******
hashshim 23
I really feel like he was only joking. He obviously hasn't always had her late as ******, she would've notice somewhere in the 5 years. He probably just changed it as a joke. Just my guess.
chelsearenaeee 16
It probably was a joke, I don't see how that could be serious. Although she did put it on FML so who knows.
Nemo123654 11
That's ****** awesome! Lol love it! Gonna put my gf as ****** now :D
mhome9 1
and you sound like you'd be a blast at parties. 5 years, the guy is obviously just being stupid.
TordNorski 30
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Not a bad thing. Just funny!
molliciousj 19
I don't think objectifying your girlfriend of 5 years is funny. It'd be one thing if it was an inside joke or something but it sounds like she knew nothing about it and that's pretty screwed up.
6FootUnder 11
Holy shit just stfu, this is what makes you females so ******* annoying. It's funny, she probably laughed it off and got the **** over it.
saad2605 16
25-you need to stop being self-centered and so egotistical of yourself. And it's not funny but just stupid and immature.
FucYoCouch 13
We're annoying because we react badly about being called something we either A.) never knew about or B.) dislike? Yep. I see where saying "No" and "I don't like that" make us annoying. With that logic, I'm sure you won't mind me calling you an asshole.
chinaski7628 32
I don't think she got over it and laughed it off if she wrote an FML about it. It's pretty disrespectful and not funny at all. That's what makes men like you so ******* annoying. You don't realize that real women don't like being disrespected and objectified.
amphetamin3 17
I mean, I would probably laugh...and then change every name in his phone to ****** (because I am a girl and I am crazy and do crazy things sometimes)...have fun figuring out who is who! (whoa, all the previous comments are gone!)
rocker_chick105 31
I'll probably get down voted, but I don't think it's really the end of the world... he could've called her "bitch," "****," or other rude words. He could've labeled her as one of many girls be texts. ****** isn't the worst that could've happened. And all of this is coming from a girl...
rocker_chick105 31
*he, not be. Sorry about that
molliciousj 19
#43 So you'd be cool with your boyfriend calling you ****** behind your back?
dachayke 16
Chill people. If it wasn't a joke, he probably wouldn't be with her for 5 years.
Sniper_Chick4110 20
#78 I would be fine with that. I'm married AND have a sense of humor. I agree with #3, #43 and think #41's response is brilliant. Also #41 if he didn't have any work contacts in his phone i would change a few of the words in his auto correct spelling as revenge, to '******'. Like 'car' or 'house' lol. Just a few subtle words that leave him saying 'WTF'. Revenge is sweet. Much better than over-dramatizing everything.
DanielleinDC 33
Or give them random names. Or change the names around. But that's a brilliant idea.
rocker_chick105 31
78- in my relationship, my boyfriend have a quote: "you're a douche, but I love you." We're able to do this thing called teasing each other, without one of us crossing the line or freaking out. I feel like a relationship is healthy with jokes and teasing, like best friends do. Maybe I'm just young and dumb though. I agree with 80.
molliciousj 19
#98 I get that but what I'm saying if you read my comment is that it's not a joke or something funny between the pair if one of them is clueless about it. That's when it's hurtful and screwed up. You can't have an inside joke if one person isn't in on it. Duh.
I_cant_think 10
*Sees joke* *Likes joke* *Uses joke with himself* *Becomes inside joke with himself* It's really not that hard. A inside joke is a joke not many people know about. He may be the only one who knows, or it could be a big joke with all his buds who call their girlfriends vaginas.
rocker_chick105 31
Either way 107, is it really something to be so upset about? Like I said earlier, it could've been a lot worse. I feel like people blow things out of proportion, which might be why some relationships don't work. You should be able to share a laugh with your boyfriend. Then again, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. "Duh."
Fatwahhh 10
List him as 'Penis'.
inner_peace 19
What if that's his name?
EmmaMK 35
Then list him as Mr head, Dick Head.
ElementaryEdGuy 18
52: Then it has triple meaning.
blahblahblah4455 1
yeah and that can be your gys little insider lol
rocker_chick105 31
We have a conservation officer where I live named Richard Head. Yes, That is his legal name. And he lives up to it.
maggiefox 25
Or small penis
drewflav 17
99 - Does he know Mike Litoris or Mike Hunt by any chance?
tman1985 9
Richard Cheese would also work
darkfireflame 15
Or "Dick"
fletchy803 10
That's not nice. I'm sorry, that's got to hurt your feelings. It's ok, keep your head up and have a laugh. It'll help you get over it.
an3ph 20
Is his name Dick by chance?
sisco2901 20
From now on, anyway...
Azalorgm 7
Either your first name is ******, or he is a dick.
Rainhawk94 27
Is your name Virginia by any chance
gantoman 13
Do not down vote or up vote this. Keep it at 69.
PenguinBitch 43
Don't tell me what to do! *is upvoter #70*
chabelo 10
He feels that he owns that part of your body now, you have been together for 3 long years. Haha well seriously that really sucks, you should talk to him and ask for respect if he only wants you for your pussy its time to find another man who's worth it and respect you for who you are.
sunshine41196 12
*5 years
chinaski7628 32
11-- you actually have some good points, but you missed some of the facts.
Pat000005 9
*Waits for pussy jokes*