Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend was reading me a poem he wrote for me. It was beautiful, and going really well… until he read the last line, which had a girl's name in it. It wasn't my name. My boyfriend said, "Shit, wrong girl", and dug through his bag for a different poem. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a really sweet poem that he wrote for me. I think it was secondhand - the first letter of each verse spelled his ex girlfriend's name. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML
Today, my boyfriend left me for his sister. No, not my sister. His sister. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML
Today, my boyfriend wrote me a love letter saying about how much he cares for me, how he'd die for me and how he wants to spend his life with me. What really took my breath away was the confession at the end about how he "accidentally" cheated on me with my best friend. FML
Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML
Today, I realized that when my boyfriend said, "I'll love you forever" what he really meant was, "I'll love you until I meet your significantly more attractive sister." FML
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Top comments
Cusefan5 6
Dump his sorry ass
fakan 4
get a new mister that won't screw your sister.
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Comments (117)
Cusefan5 6
Dump his sorry ass
sunshine41196 12
maybe thats the only rhyming word he could come up with? if not fyl op!
Crazc 15
or not
AriettaX 15
Anyone willing to stay with a cheater I feel bad for
uarudeassbitchyo 17
That's not very romantic ... Did u slap him
fuckyourlifeOP 25
I think something more along the lines of telling him "u a rude ass bitch yo" would really get to him.
imaxmain 24
Someones ****** up. and thats your soon to be ex I mean
TourettesGuyFTW 25
Your punctuation and grammar is also ****** up.
Greenguy9 8
I can imagine that being said in a fancy voice because of your picture.
NiceGuysDoWin 21
*Your punctuation and grammar ARE also ****** up. :)
PotterHead_DH 26
#107 you could have literally emphasized any other word in that sentence.
saudor 14
Well that's screwed up...
jojimugo 20
#45 It could be screwed up in the fanny (Europe) or fanny (USA) either way it's messed up
JustSarah 13
Write him one back ending with "it's time to say goodbye!".
challan 19
now you look like a hobbit... after I pulled a Lorriana Bobbit.
StompinOnCrayons 15
"We are finished you bastard, I'm leaving you now, To go slap my sister, Who is such a big cow "
lambda_fml 40
"Its time to say goodbye, I hope you flippin' die."
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Remember the love between you and I? Now use your hand, because it's goodbye.
fakan 4
get a new mister that won't screw your sister.
Fermion 20
I'd think she'd need a new sister that won't screw her mister also, but that's just me.
synsam 4
if she dumps her mister, there's a twister, she'll still have her sister who'd eagerly like to fist her. the guy tried to diss her writing a poem full of scripture, he painted a picture that made her wish her sister wasn't with her but jokes on him cause he's lesser without her or her sister.
NoThanks999 19
your poem hurt my smarty bits
musewillrockon 8
Let's just hope that he's a rubbish poet and wrote that because it was the only rhyme he could think of.
gracehi 31
That's what I was wondering. Maybe it's just a ballsy joke. A very VERY ballsy joke.
lolaroxie 12
What are you waiting for? Write him a poem back!
Amber1234567890 8
Roses are red. Violets are blue. That's okay, Because I screwed your best friend too.
tacojauns 45
I can only write Hiaukus You are a ******** I hope you die in a fire you sister ******
gracehi 31
Poems are made by fools like me And you have a tiny pee pee :P
isuckwithnames 22
#54 I don't think that works
aimeegoldberg 22
This has by far been my favorite string of comments, I cant stop laughing. Keep it up guys
zeldagirl77 7
Thats is probably the saddest most terrible way to say i ****** your sister.
Amber1234567890 8
I would say it's time to find a new mister....& a new sister