Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML
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Today, my roommate's boyfriend told me he would be driving the several hours EVERY weekend to come see his girlfriend. As a couple, they are constantly all over each other, and can't seem to break out of the annoying baby talk voice. Plus, they like to kick me out of the room to do stuff. FML
Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML
Today, even my 11-year-old noticed how much my boyfriend constantly reminisces about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mum said she won't stop us from seeing each other, yet she'll only allow me to see him for 30 minutes a day, for 2 days a week, and gets mad if he sees me for any longer, because "mother knows best." FML
Today, I told both my boyfriend and my son that they needed to start spending more time together. They both asked why and what they did that I feel the need to punish them. They’re so similar, even I forget they’re not father and son, and yet for some reason they hate each other. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend’s 6 year-old son. The first thing he said to me was, "You’re not going to leave us for another man like mommy did, right?" FML
Today, I realised my boyfriend is only nice to my son to make me happy. Turns out he hates children and will only do the minimum interaction with my 4-year-old son he can get away with, until he can fabricate an excuse to leave the room. FML
Today, I had to tell my boyfriend to stop inviting his mother on our dates. FML
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Top comments
MrSassypants 33
"Dylan, you better stop messing with my girl or I'll beat the shit out of you!" "Oooohhh, you said a bad word!"
GraceyBlueEyes 13
What an idiot. He's clearly got some issues.
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Comments (123)
GraceyBlueEyes 13
What an idiot. He's clearly got some issues.
DenBriZel 31
But if you stopped "hanging out" with Dylan you wouldn't have money to take him to the playland!
Ambient25 24
I can't believe there are guys like OP's bf. If I was him I'd be the one taking Dylan to Playland or Legoland or wherever. There are few things better in life than being able to be a kid, with a kid.
DenBriZel 31
Well dang. I looked back at my comment and realized it didn't sound the way I wanted it to be, and I went to change a few words around to make it sound better, I found out apparently passed the time limit for editing. Anyways, what I meant was that I was implying that OP's boyfriend is acting like a child and that she should take HIM to playland. Sounds a bit stupid now that I think about it, but it sounded funny in my head! Lol And to OP! If I was you I would tell the boyfriend to either grow up or pull up his big boy pants and leave.
KatieMajestic 17
Boyfriend: You're a doodyhead! Dylan: oh grow up
EvilLittleMan 23
I'll second that comment. Those who are able to be a kid with a kid are the ones who will never grow old and will continue to have fun as we pack on the years. Being able to relate to a child or teen on their level is a gift. I'll never have to worry about a generation gap and that's what makes me successful in my line of work.
rockne93 17
This is so stupid. Why take crap or argue with a guy who doesn't think like a normal person? He's way too controlling OP
Sputnikspak 13
Man, I used to sometimes look after the neighbour's kid after school (he's 13 now, so not anymore). It was a blast pulling out my old bin of Lego and getting down on the floor and watching cartoons and playing. I can't have kids of my own, so I live vicariously through other people's kids. I don't get OPs boyfriend. You can introduce these kids to all these things you loved as a kid that they know nothing about but is cool again.
SJParker 13
I kind of understand his reasoning. Maybe he means it like she's spending time with Dylan when she could be spending time with him, hence the ****-block
Zintrix 6
That sucks but you deserved it too because kids can be cockblocks
DenBriZel 31
85- it doesn't matter? that's not the point... The point is that she's a BABYSITTER. it's her job to "spend time" with the kid.
squideth 18
Amazingly enough, the world doesn't revolve around her boyfriend's dick. OP can do what she wants.
rebellionwars 11
He is if he knows who that Dylan is a 5 year old.
whythankyou 19
Tell him that, in fact, babysitting Dylan gets you money to buy condoms which provide for safe sex and less Dylans! That oughta make him shut his mouth.
MrsDruidess 23
Dump him, he's obviously more childish than the 5 year old. You deserve better
mario2012 18
Yea, she deserves Dylan. Wait...
dawnimus 21
Tell your boyfriend to stop being so ridiculous. If he's threatened by a little kid then it's likely he'll be unreasonable about pretty much any social interaction with a male. Hope he comes to his senses!
Arrow44 10
Alright guys I'm going to bite the bullet and say that maybe OP is manipulating her boyfriends words (she is human we all do it) and her boyfriend is just mad because he doesn't spend that much time with her, hence the "everyday" babysitting.
MrsDruidess 23
94, that is a possibility, but its her job. If he is upset that she works too much then that is also a big issue. If she's babysitting every day, chances are OP is young, he shouldn't be interfering with her work. She still will need to figure out if he is worth possibly losing her job if she asks to cut back. Personally I would be ticked off if my kid backed out of her responsibilities like that for a boy!
massinator5 4
Dylan's probably more mature than he is.
MrSassypants 33
"Dylan, you better stop messing with my girl or I'll beat the shit out of you!" "Oooohhh, you said a bad word!"
gc327072 30
IMMA TEELLLLLL ON YOOUU!!!!
Melix 31
"IM TELLING MY MOM! *sad face*"
Silvinomiae 20
Do you remember to keep your boyfriend occupied with stimulating experiences while you are gone? I can recommend toys where you can put his lunch, for mental stimulation, or a colour book, if he is more into that kind of tasks.
ambitiousnygrl 17
or a toy car
sarcasticlover 30
your boyfriend hasn't grown up...looks like u have another kid to babysit!
Ambient25 24
Your boyfriend has some serious self esteem issues if he feels "one upped" by a 5 year old. I suggest you tell him to repeat what he said to himself and man the F up.
DenBriZel 31
Or he could be cheating. I've heard that usually the guilty ones are the ones that accuse.
Infamous_Tora 12
The kid's got game at an early age. If your boyfriend is scared of losing you to a 5 year old, he's got quite the list of insecurities..
timss4 19
He clearly has reason to believe you're a pedophile lol have knocked door to door yet OP? Haha
Ambient25 24
I think you need to rethink where your mind is. Why don't you have a seat right over there...
timss4 19
Lol clearly sarcasm about how dumb her bf is being
Ambient25 24
Lol I know, just being facetious
timss4 19
Lol too early in the morning back in the states for inappropriate humor I take it
Ambient25 24
I'm in Japan right now...
laden_swallow09 34
We get it was a joke. It just wasn't funny. You along with countless others before you on FML can't seem to grasp that fact.
timss4 19
Lmao right well good thing what's funny is a matter of opinion. Name callin is cute though lol