Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with for the past six months. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML
Today, I decided to make the switch from pads to tampons. My boyfriend ended up having to show me how to apply them. FML
Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML
Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
Now wait until he finds out about your vibrator.
LanceGoodthrust 19
He should really stop and think about whether or not he wants to compare the size of his equipment to a tampon, and claim that the tampon is winning.
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Comments (172)
Nyx_fml 23
Now wait until he finds out about your vibrator.
lex1459 38
But can we talk about OP's username
\ 28
I like the way OP's boyfriend thinks... although that's a little domineering and invasive.
SokDek 14
...vibrators aren't meant for "entering"
JMichael 25
Or that she also uses her fingers.
LanceGoodthrust 19
#82, some are, particularly the ones shaped like a penis. You know every time I see that word on a screen or in print, the first thing that pops into my head is, "The pen is what?"
addioty 19
Lance Goodthrust. Hm.
tjv3 10
Dude has some major control issues
weezypanda420 22
Dude sounds controlling and scared his dick is smaller than a tampon... Use a pad and show him what it looks like. he might change his mind.
bendapanda 7
The wut
LanceGoodthrust 19
He should really stop and think about whether or not he wants to compare the size of his equipment to a tampon, and claim that the tampon is winning.
\ 28
Reminds me of the FML where OP has an epiphany that her tampon goes deeper into her than her boyfriend does...
buttcramp 21
you're always right on.
xXxGraveStonexXx 20
Ask him if he'd rather have you use his dick for a tampon.
happle 21
And you're complaining that you broke up?
TheCerealKiller 24
They didn't break up you derpasaurus.
Palirose 22
Derpasaurus... I like that. I shall be using that term from now on.
\ 28
FML: The birthplace of crazy new insults. :)
buttcramp 21
**** yes! it's so risky to use a word like that here.. where everyone picks on each other. you came out on top!
LanceGoodthrust 19
I don't mind being on top, myself, but sometimes I get a little overheated...
AnthonyWheeler15 24
That's ridiculous, sorry OP l, some guys are extremely ignorant.
jillytc 23
whats sad is one of my ex's did the same thing to me...
underscoreguy 8
Maybe he's just insecure that the tampon is bigger than his..
graceinsheepwear 33
than his tampon?
cowgirlonacid 4
PENIS! You can say it. This is not a site for modesty.
AnOriginalName 19
Wait, really #63? ******! .... I feel funny now.
MsConfusedd 27
Looks like your boyfriend has some serious competition there
Draconium 8
Only let him enter you five days a month then
Nyx_fml 23
Even for just one year, that's 12 times too much.
neverready 25
Don't forget he has to stay in a few hours. And suck it up.
eddeeezzyy 19
You're dating a child, OP. I'm not implying that you should break up with him, but should really talk to him about his stupid nonsense.
Kiki242 19
I don't think any conversation could fix this. This is like one of those Ike turner memes.
Octwo 16
You can't fix stupid.
Phillies9513 4
Break up with him, that's ridiculous
hcollins1 18
That sounds like an awesome idea 11! Break up with your otherwise lovely boyfriend OP, just because he freaked out over a tampon! Couples NEVER ever argue, but if they do, they should split because that's bad news! With your logic 11, no one would be dating, married or whatever the case may be because all couples argue, no need to break up over silly little things such as a tampon.
kingdomgirl94 29
I don't know, if he's jealous of a tampon, imagine how jealous he could be over other things. These are the early signs of insanity man...
AloysiusWeasley 15
Agreed. What next? No male friends? No going anywhere without his permission? I mean really, if only he's allowed to penetrate her, that means sex toys are off the table, and life isn't worth living without those!