Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
iAlissa 34
Maybe the woman respects herself enough not to sleep with a stranger
jensen21 19
When you use "finally gave in" it seems like you were definitely harassing her.
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Comments (354)
iAlissa 34
Maybe the woman respects herself enough not to sleep with a stranger
Welshite 39
Wow. Way to change your comment. First calling the girl a horrible name for doing what she did and now defending her.
Thale_fml 8
Why is it given that only women who don't respect themselves sleep with strangers?
VasNormandy 14
First she was a bitch, now she respects herself. Way to change your response based on what everyone else says.
gc327072 30
Sorry guys, I thought had some rotten tomatoes to throw, but I'm all out. Will pine cones work?
DWordHead16 19
#21: People normally associate those who don't respect themselves as the ones who would sleep with total strangers because those who don't respect themselves normally give it up easier than those who do. I'm not saying that those who respect themselves don't sleep with total strangers, but that typically doesn't happen. Think about it this way: if you respect yourself, wouldn't you sleep with someone who actually wants you for you, and not who just wants to use you as a **** bag? That's what humans are essentially if you don't have any real feelings for the person you're *******. You're just pleasuring them and letting them go. That's all the OP wanted. Someone that'll let him stick his dick in them and nothing else. Doesn't that sound like he has no respect for himself either?
nuggetmonster 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
@Number One "Self respect is MY respect for MYSELF I could as well suck three thousand dicks and respect myself, so shut the **** up" a woman who sleeps with strangers does not lack self respect. self respect is not what society thinks is okay, it's what the individual does.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with sleeping with someone you just met. We're animals, we're programmed to procreate. Everyone needs to have some standards but just because you enjoy sex with people you don't want to bring to your parents house doesn't mean you're a bad person. You guys act like having sex with some random person is a crime against humanity. I say have some fun while you can, just be smart about it.
Welshite 39
#69: You're missing the point. The girl obviously didn't welcome the attention, but the OP wouldn't take "no" for an answer. Even his username indicates that there was one thing on his mind, and the only thing he cared about. It wasn't the girl or her wishes.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
When you're on the prowl you aren't looking to have an emotional connection with a girl, you're looking to get laid. I've never personally badgered some poor girl to get in bed with me and I do see that as wrong, but both men and women look for quick dirty sex every once in a while and as long as you aren't drugging one another or something to that matter, I see no problem wanting to meet a girl, or guy, just for sex. That's why 50% of people go to clubs and bars anyway. OP shouldn't have kept edging her to sleep with him, but what he had on his mind is completely normal for anyone.
iAlissa 34
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Relax I read it wrong. It happens.
Wakachulak 22
#79, you are almost getting the point there. Keep trying.
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Ah, the "I read it wrong" excuse. A classic excuse.
queerdragon 20
I always wonder how many of the "I read it wrong" crowd truly did. It is 140 characters, at most. Doesn't seem like a PhD is needed.
SkyBlueCloud 21
#21 it's true. Only ****** and ***** sleep with one night stands or guys they just met. Plus when they aren't dating it counts as being "sluty". People seem to forget that some woman actually have morals and respect themselves and will not just let a random guy stick their dick in them.
SkyBlueCloud 21
#67 when you get an STI from all the random dick suckings, Maybe you will regret your **** actions.
SkyBlueCloud 21
If girls didn't have morals and just ****** for fun like guys we would all have 5-7 children by now and would have gotten a ton is STI's
girlbye23 15
Because women who sleep with strangers don't respect their bodies.
Wakachulak 22
And still, 300+
Palirose 22
Just to be clear though...even if sex is also a means for procreation and pleasure. It doesn't mean it's a reason to sleep with a lot of people. Everyone should be more cautious when sleeping with a stranger because you never know if they're crazy or have STDs etc. protection and caution are always the best and it's always good to make sure you tell someone your whereabouts before sleeping with any strangers...just in case they end up being a psychopath.
2074red2074 6
Woah, double standard! Do you think Barney (wait for it) Stinson has no self respect?
queerdragon 20
I think that sleeping with people is fine as long as you are doing it because it makes you happy, not because you are in a bad spot. It is not fair to yourself or other people if you use them for a moments happiness instead of solving the problem.
MasqueradePrince 25
Ah, pinecones... The children of pine trees...
brinnablaine 22
Its easier to misread a short post than a long one, especially on FML where irony and sarcasm are often used. However, if you're going to make a comment, its a good idea to read a post twice, just to make sure you didn't misread it.
JanisEvans 10
What, you managed to oveook all his blatantly obvious self esteem issues. Jaysus!
AKAR2521 4
no means no asshole. grow up
throwfred 1
YOU STUPID ******* FEMINIST ****, WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU? HAVING SEX WITH A WOMAN DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY EQUAL RAPE, THE FEMALE PARTY WAS CLEARLY CONSENTING UNTIL SHE PULLED THAT BITCH MOVE BY ACCUSING HIM OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT. YOU AND THAT GIRL ARE WHAT'S WRONG WITH SOCIETY. **** YOU.
tjv3 10
OP is a jackass
Chumbowamba 10
I am with iAlissa and DWordHead16. The girl aint wrong for what she did. He ******* deserved it haha The first sentence in his story says it all.
lalaney 14
Yes, this. People who condemn others for not having self respect are usually full of shit. What they mean is "I don't have respect for YOU because you make choices I wouldn't make". But see, if you have high self-respect you couldn't give two ***** what some dumb ass on the internet thinks about how you have fun.
rebamoo 14
Why does everyone call double standard when saying women shouldn't sleep around? Men shouldn't either!! Barney Stinson is a complete man ***** who had a million issues with his self respect. But nice reference, I'm obsessed with that show xD
Hempseed 26
@SkyBlueCloud How about you just calm the **** down and stop being such a hypercritical, judgemental cuntwaffle?
Welshite 39
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You are a jerk. Don't hit on women with the sole goal of sleeping with them. Learn some decency.
Welshite 39
Don't disrespect pigs like that, Noor. I think his nickname should be more like "Slime".
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
OP sounds like a real scumbag. I wonder if by any chance his name is Steve.
zen1979 16
Hey!! That's an insult to honest slime....
Zintrix 6
So what about the women who goal is to sleep with a guy? No one calls them names. Also yeah it was wrong for her to call his mother. There's s line and she crossed it.
spazz666 18
Actually yes, girls who only talk to a guy to sleep with them are called skanks.
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
It's only an insult to a Steve if you're THE infamous Steve...
acid_moose 7
Guys like him deserve to keep their virginity forever.
perdix 29
#2, it's dumb to hit on women with the SOLE goal of sleeping with them. After the 30 seconds of joy, there's going to be a lot of dead air.
hazardmuffin 21
Or, he should try not harassing women who clearly aren't interested. There's nothing wrong with a guy after only sex, just like there's nothing wrong with a girl after only sex. Decency would be him respecting the wishes of others.
CanadiAnM8 24
#2, This als seems more like an F his mom's life for raising such a slob. Also its an F the girl's life for getting hit on by a slob that only cares for sex and not the personality.
Pwn17 25
127- Yeah, it's another of those where the OP does something that would constitute an FML for someone else, yet OP is the one bitching. OP, you misogynistic scum, you can go **** yourself.
girlbye23 15
Theres a word for those women: ***** or hoes
lysx84 24
Hitting on someone in a club for sex is standard, doing so to the point that they're calling your mum is way beyond wrong. Get the hint OP, move on to someone actually interested!
Mossears133 15
58- He crossed the line when he harrassed her. She did what she had to do. Here's a fine line between "Ughhhh, fine" and rape. He was dancing on it.
frizz101 22
They do call them names, **** and who're come to mind pretty quick
tomgun_fml 16
Common don't you know most men are like that???
MidnightMadness 8
haha what a quick thinker!
\ 28
Damn it, how do you just jump into sex with someone you barely know??
queerdragon 20
I don't know how you could sleep with someone you just met either. With all the chances for things to go terribly wrong, I only sleep with people I am in a relationship with who have been screened for diseases.
neeni88 23
In response to 3: Too bad he wasn't interested in her mind and not just her body.
mFUNdo21 17
to each their own, if you want to have sex with as many people as is humanly possible, cool. if you only want to sleep with people you trust and/or are in a relationship with, cool
Chumbowamba 10
Lets play find the person who is easy.. done. ^^^ No it is never okay to just sleep around. From 3 - 120 you are awesome .. 162... um nothing more.
DeoVolente 13
Did you sleep together?
PuggieKid 22
yes, Ofcourse they did... Even after she called his mom. How amazing is that eh?
\ 28
Hint: they DIDN'T shake any beds. :)
DarkCaesar 17
Of course why wouldn't they!
DeoVolente 13
You along with 180+ people didn't understand that it was a joke. The fact that they didn't sleep together is pretty obvious
BellaBear90 27
People down voting #4 doesn't mean we don't get it... It just wasn't funny. Or enlightening. So the thumb goes down.
MermaidAnnariea 10
your jokes are bad.
mbuck87 19
And you should feel bad
Michael903 18
At least you were schooled by a professional!
lex1459 38
Is OP robin thicke
Chumbowamba 10
Totally XD straight up professional work here
summer_2k13 8
What'd your mom say?
ryanthecheeseguy 18
I'd like to see this question answered in an author comment
whoracle_fml 12
There are so many things wrong with this FML
alycion 38
Way too many things. Aside from being an ass, I don't get the handing over of a phone so someone can put their number in. Never did. Put it in your damned self. But more importantly, don't pressure someone until they give in. Take no for an answer. Especially if you are only out to sleep with that person. Pressuring someone into sex is just one step away from forcing yourself on that person. Persistence can be a good thing. But there is a point where it stops being persistence and becomes harassment. Learn the line.
Not_Impressed13 9
Unfortunately, that line is very fluid. Some women would consider it harassment if you asked only once. Others like to play and flirt the night away. What may be all in good fun for some could be taken as WAY over the line by others.
jensen21 19
When you use "finally gave in" it seems like you were definitely harassing her.
Bloink 25
Yeah it's like he admitted it
BirdieCurls 25
How many other victims? o.o
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Even worse overall when he probably thought his life truly sucks when submitting this FML.
Roskie 16
Well, it does, but not for the reason he thinks.
Mossears133 15
If you have to "get" her to sleep with you, that sexual harassment.
Gemma_Mansonite 20
It can be classed as rape. He won't leave her alone even when she said no and I'm sure that's rape
singer0421 32
Just because you're flirting with someone doesn't mean she wants to sleep with you. That fact that you said the words "finally gave in" shows me that you were actually creepy.
\ 28
"Hello, how are you? Let's have sex. Now. NOW."
MidnightMadness 8
lmao
imagineapc 11
I would do the same thing....then again if a guy is trying that hard they're not worth my time anyway.