Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
Today, my period was a few days late, so my anxiety kicked in and I told my husband I was worried about being pregnant. He pointedly said that pregnancy requires sex, and I suddenly remembered we haven't had sex in months. I haven't cheated, but good luck convincing his suspicious ass of that. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
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Top comments
golden_warrior 23
I hope you talked to her about your needs in the relationship rather than venting on fml
mangobbler 11
Hopefully her period is just late. If she is indeed pregnant, and you two haven't had sex in a year... she has some serious explaining to do. Chin up, OP. Hopefully it is just a minor scare. PS: Put some Marvin Gaye playing and fix that sexless relationship. xD
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Comments (205)
golden_warrior 23
I hope you talked to her about your needs in the relationship rather than venting on fml
br00kr 22
Seriously, every girl thinks that they are pregnant if they miss their period. It's a natural reaction.
SammyS2012 21
When i was like 13 or 14, I thought I was pregnant because my period was very late. My logic was that I was the new Virgin Mary. I didnt realized that periods were sporadic when you started.
Verst 16
Sometimes girls worry if their period is late. But, if a belly starts growing, she's got a lot of explaining to do.
br00kr 22
My belly grows and I haven't once had sex and I still think I am pregnant if I miss my period. Just because a stomach grows doesn't mean she's pregnant. If she stops having periods all together, she has really weird cravings, and she gets morning sickness along with the growing belly would probably mean shes pregnant
gabbi630 16
If you hade sex, yes you can think about being pregnant. If you are a virgin and still think so you are stupid!
slithergirl 5
Not of they never had sex!
shyeahh_fml 19
What?
Enslaved 36
I also don't understand why #81 is getting down voted? I guess I can understand a handful at 13/14 year olds not quite understanding how their periods work but to know that not having a period may be a sign that you're pregnant at that young age but not knowing that you first had to have sex? Seems odd-- in a cute innocent way. In bible school, I was told that the Virgin Mary didn't have sex not that she had missed her period. :P
gabbi630 16
I don't get it either.
SammyS2012 21
Childten have overactive imagjnation. You cant say Im stupid for thinking that when I was 13. Thats like saying a child is stupid for thinking an apple tree is going to grow in them for eating seeds. Children dont grasp many concepts or think logically about something. Did I know sex was involve? Obviously, but did my imagination rile up? Of course; I was a child. Do I think that now? No, I'm a premed student considering OB/GYN. Dont call someone stupid because of something they thought when they were younger. Even if youre only saying i WAS stupid, thats still insulting because I was actually bright (though I admit I did have dumb moments; but who doesnt?)
Voqab 3
149 I'm pretty sure they are referring to 41 who said she's never had sex and still thinks she is pregnant if her period is late but I can be wrong
rabidpeach 5
nope, just like the apple seed thing, cute if 10 and under, but indicative of moronic shelteredness if older. at 13, technology today enables you to be educated about sex. knowledge is power, kids. the google is your friend.
Bcfrmkc816 17
And one was this comment Because he said they haven't had sex. So she either had sex with someone else or what #81 said
QueenOfAwkwardd 14
And another thing that can cause a missed period is stress. It happens quite often actually.
FimogenFeels 14
You guys are making it like you can't have an abstinent relationship or that it's a bad thing.
Illusionwc 3
I think you and half the people misinterpret this FML. There is no reason for her to freak out about being pregnant if no sex has been involved. I think he hinted at she was cheating, otherwise there is no other explanation for the freakout.
TheLawOfSod 4
This isn't necessarily about needs. She may have cheated. Or she doesn't know how babby is formed.
kingbrizo 24
maybe you should change that, so she actually has a legitimate reason to freak out
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
Agree..time to end the dry spell.
cynical78 15
Maybe she is getting it on, just not with the OP
jem970 19
Dry spell? The man has been in a ******* desert for a year. Poor guy.
Spider_Web 11
Does that make it a "drought"?
annie_nk 22
I think it's a good thing she isn't pregnant.
nurchok 15
OP's living with a bimbo :)
zandalee 19
A bimbo who doesn't like sex! ****, they aren't even married yet and no sex for a year!? Wow, she must give pretty good head! ;)
jococo7787 3
who knows? she could have had an affair...
mangobbler 11
Hopefully her period is just late. If she is indeed pregnant, and you two haven't had sex in a year... she has some serious explaining to do. Chin up, OP. Hopefully it is just a minor scare. PS: Put some Marvin Gaye playing and fix that sexless relationship. xD
caohm 18
"sexless" such a sad word
Sfaizi24 17
I don't think op is worried that she's cheating, as much as hes just mad at the no sex part.
jesustitts 20
Well he should be worried about the possibility of cheating now!
Caitie_kid 8
Seriously!! How could you go a year without ANY sex?? Even the driest couple I know do it at least twice a month.
AKGirlinSD 20
Another common reason why women have periods not every 4 weeks, could be due to being on medications, especially opiods. Both legal and illegal opiods control your mind and body to do very odd things and not function properly.
lylotrezor 20
OP didn't say it was a problem, maybe they're an asexual couple.
Caitie_kid 8
I don't think he'd put it in fml if it wasn't a problem.
knotcool 15
.
knotcool 15
#124: Fapping...lots and lots of fapping.
judea95 16
There's no point in being an asexual couple. You wouldn't get anything done. That's just called being friends
juststephhere 23
Sounds super fun! Maybe get her a sex book, that's kinda strange that she didn't realize you need to have sex first...
Uramonkey 11
If she doesn't know that, then she's too young for you bro/OP.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
bro-p?
addioty 19
It's a natural reaction to think one is pregnant if they are late. I once was late and started freaking out and thought I was carrying the next Baby Jesus. Long story short, I was one day late.
Epikouros 31
It's funny how one ****'s lame excuse still makes teenage girls worry 2000 years later.
Bojack_fml 10
That can't be fun, spice things up and tell her shake what her mother gave her!
jesustitts 20
Are you SURE she's not having sex?
420Zombie 17
Call me suspicious, but if she's "freaking out" I'd think she was...
jesustitts 20
I agree.. That or she's an idiot and too young to be having sex
aimeegoldberg 22
if she were too young, please explain to me why they would be living together for a year.
jesustitts 20
Okay, my bad not too young, but too immature.
Welshite 39
Maybe I'm a bit pessimistic, but she doesn't have to have sex with YOU to get pregnant. Just sayin'.
ApollosMyth 22
Kinda what I was thinking. I find it hard to believe that some people would forget that they have to have sex to be pregnant..
hamrtym 15
That flew right over his head unfortunately.
shadokis 15
I was thinking the same thing. You're in a sexless relationship......That doesn't mean she is too. Sorry for sounding so pessimistic, but once a person's been cheated on, they tend to have some trust issues. Hopefully we're wrong for your sake, OP.
slooby_fml 25
That's rough buddy
Ghalya_Dh 14
lol Your girlfriend reactions are just like mine, I over react sometimes..