If only…
Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML
Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I've realised that I give my girlfriend more pleasure with back rubs than with anything sexual. FML
Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML
Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML
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Top comments
joshiepo0 18
Massage her before sex.
DocBastard 38
Remotely intelligent?
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Comments (127)
sunkissedluster 20
Sounds like you need to go back to ******* school. LOL.
aKaClickZ 4
No more back rubs for that bitch!
nycwrestler 17
Maybe op is a trained massues
ohmandapants 16
So Doc and Gracehi and Schizomaniac are morons who shouldn't be commenting and yet...this is what you post..."******* school"? What?
sniken 14
#14 I was thinking the exact same thing on a other story!
geko911 22
1 - Bring your sister back, she was so much funnier than you, moreover, she wasn't a self centered prick but what do I know.. ( actually have no idea who said sister is but I can't figure out how some one could be even more stupid than you..)
Silent_Thrill 17
Everyone got your pitchforks and torches ready? Good! ATTACK!!!!!!!
Erzebet_fml 7
#14, #17, #26 - what do you guys expect from someone who doesn't "do weed" cuz she's too busy "getting wasted on the real shit." No wonder she doesn't like Doc. He's actually remotely intelligent.
DocBastard 38
Remotely intelligent?
greatdanen 6
Doc - it means you're cleverer than 1, but stupider than 29
DudeEvil 22
Yeah, it means your intelligence can be controlled with a remote; how cool is that?! :P
Nilla_Please 12
Well personally I find doc funny but I do agree with her that some more known people get thumbed up even when they say something really stupid which is annoying after a while
XxDevilxXGt 26
Looks like this is the end. The mob is closing in, prepare. For TONIGHT, YOU GOT BURIED BY THUMBS FOREVER.
TheMathMajor 26
So Doc is a cyborg? I knew it!
CharresBarkrey 15
She's also 17 and "stuck between jobs." What the ****? She can't decide between working at McDonalds or Taco Bell?
XxDevilxXGt 26
And the only class she ever studied in high school was history.
clarke7792 6
is this a social site? i just come here to look at peoples shitty lives so i can feel better about mine, but yall niggas r serious up in this bitch, yall know eachother by ****** name!
pradip 26
She adores Perdix, Noor, Keevarou, Every1luvsboners, KaySL and MercyFML. Where are you guys, come and rescue her, it's not fair to let her get bombarded.
DocBastard 38
Keevarou and Boners are MIA, and Mercy is long gone. I killed KaySL, dismembered her, and buried her body parts in 17 different countries. That's the only way I could be sure that damned psycho never came back.
Charleybelle 14
Can I just say that I love this entire thread? After she posted an incredibly stupid comment I read her description that bashes like the most intelligent commenters and says THEY'RE the morons? What the hell... I don't "do weed" hahah
Sir_ND_Pity 35
So, KaySL has gone cuckoo and is communicating with us via her cuckoo? I like :)
sens3sfailing 24
Damn it! my contract with the carrier pigeons just ran out. I gotta go call Mike Tyson. furthermore. I'd hate to be the asshole to say it, okay I love it, but sunkissed either needs to do one of 3 things. 1: most preferably, delete their account. 2: Just stop ******* commenting. 3: Learn from pradip and actually learn from your mistakes and make good comments later on (long shot). i prefer this sister because while the other one was a dumbass, she also thought everyone was a creeper for responding to her dumbass statements and was just part of that whole, "swag or ur a hater" thing and i just cant stand that.
vencku 13
... Did I miss some dramatic action in the comment section of an FML? Where should I look to find enlightenment about what is going on?
Charleybelle 14
Awh. You guys really got to her and she changed her description. Now I can't read that she "doesn't do weed" anymore :(
mackischillin 5
Sounds like we all dislike sunkissedluster, so apparently she should get the memo and STOP posting retarded comments!
FastidiousPear 6
Yes, 98. Yes it would.
tj5810 21
I definitely think her list is a little messed up, I mean really, Docbastard? The dude is a genius.
j_cat187 19
108 that's beyond ass kissing. You must be tossing the doctor's salad.
Catkam623 27
Son of a bitch KaySL is back I liked the ***** comment but I hope she returns soon to whatever dark crevice she's been hiding in.(she scares me)
K_kanaka 26
I wonder if Boners would comeback if sunkissed put him on her hate list.
EsotericBrent 29
Good back-rubs are pretty awesome... Maybe mix things up a little in the future? Try different things, figure out what works well for her.
Sputnikspak 13
My partner knows back rubs make me feel awesome (he's trained in massage therapy, and because I have Lupus, my back muscles like to seize up on me from time to time). Just need a massage bar from Lush (probably NOT the glittery one - but they're perfect, not too greasy like oil, WON'T stain the sheets), work her entire back, and then switch to OTHER parts of her body, and turn it INTO sex. ;) It feels pretty good to get a good leg massage. And breast massage. Also? Ask her what she wants you to do. Communication during AND dialogue outside of sex is pretty important.
rockstar362 8
^^^You should write a massage sex for dummies book.
joshiepo0 18
Massage her before sex.
nycwrestler 17
Or sex massage sex. Even better.
joshiepo0 18
What?....No, just no.
Silent_Thrill 17
Joshie, come on! We don't need to know about your "I'm just gonna stick it in" sex life.
infamousq 13
Works for me
sheethapins 13
Assuming he has a sex life. :)
joshiepo0 18
That's a loaded statement. If I say I don't I get mocked, while if I say I do then no one believes me and I get mocked.
joshiepo0 18
16- I just got the comment you made. I was confused due to no commas in the sentence. I apologize.
fucking_dev 2
or massage while sex ....
PhilSnake22 13
You should have said "If only your pussy was as tight as your back muscles."
nightskye 4
Wow. Perfect comeback. Don't expect to get any after saying that tonight!
Enslaved 36
Q: Why do most men like women with big breasts and tight *******? A: Because most have big mouths and small dicks
perdix 29
#35, hey, I resemble that remark!
EsotericBrent 29
Well played 35, well played.
fmlforreal92 8
I'm not into big breasts but tight pussy is good, not to tight though. like if a girl has a wide set vag then it doesnt feel like anything.
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
96, you sound like a virgin.
sens3sfailing 24
I like a girl who I love. I dated a girl my friends thought was I attractive. I loved her so she was the most beautiful girl in the world. Couldn't care less what cup size or how tight she is.
Dusty_Busters 15
Haha yes!
sens3sfailing 24
I attractive should be unattractive*
Catkam623 27
Hey 35 my mouth isn't that big,"goes off and cries in a corner, then comes back" we'll I didn't use to think so
owood80 4
Thank you for saying what I was thinking.
mpj13 8
Lucky for you, you rub something of your own to be satisfied
mpj13 8
Can*
HortonThelephant 15
Play that pussy like a harp string, and I guarantee you'll find yourself back in her good graces in no time. Clearly your gifts do not live below the belt.
bestnameright 14
At least you give a good back rub! Maybe you should do more hand stuff ;)
Authoress14 15
Burn!!! lol
insaneDONUTZ 15
at least you give nice massages op
SPRKY 6
Work those magic fingers where it counts, OP!