Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
Today, I got a reply to my Valentine's Day card that I sent to my girlfriend. I'll get the address right next time because her neighbor is really creeping me out now. FML
Today, while I was home sick from work, my neighbor got packages delivered. Our apartments have had a lot of thefts lately so, being neighborly, I brought her stuff inside to wait. When she came home, I gave them right to her. Instead of thanking me, she told the office that I was the thief all along. FML
Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML
Today, I found a love letter in my mail. It was from a girl I met at a bar few weeks ago. I never gave her my address or last name. I guess I have a stalker now. FML
Today, my new mailbox key finally arrived. Not at the front door as I requested, but in the mailbox. FML
Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML
Today, a phone I bought online turned up while I was at work. The delivery guy left a note saying he'd left the package with my neighbor at #10. When I went and knocked on the door and asked for the package, my neighbor said "Nope, nothing delivered here." and quickly shut the door in my face. FML
Today, I went to check my mail but there was a guy standing at the mailbox. I said, "Hey, get the fuck away from there." It was the mailman. FML
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Top comments
amypr 20
She probably just hadn't looked at the mail yet. I really doubt she wants to steal your bills.
OhMinty 5
Lol im surprised the mailman listened to you.
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Comments (145)
OhMinty 5
Lol im surprised the mailman listened to you.
shawnaishere 14
Of course he didn't want to be a cockblocker
perdix 29
Or rat him out to the Postal Inspector for attempted conspiracy to commit aggravated felonious mail fraud. Not such a cutesy trick now, huh?
jamnglamgirlie 17
Loving your Big Bang picture. :)
tigersman1c 19
As Sheldon said, bro's before hoes, bitches be crazy,,, lol
dmoz 7
My mate is a mailman here in Australia, he'd have no problem with this sort of thing, especially if you gave him a pack of smokes..
Catkam623 27
Aggravated felonious mail thievery is a real thing I swear.
HKCgrimmjow 15
So I guess simply asking if she got your mail in the mix up would be way to easy eh ^_^
Catkam623 27
Thread jacked.
Blurgas 16
Well, if the smoke prices in Australia are anything like here in the states, that's a pretty hefty tip
tsent8 15
He's a big supporter of dating for kleptomaniacs.
ewang_ 12
It's about $20 for a pack of 25's
thunderr 3
20 bucks?!
Corykad 4
Bitch!
cmac86 23
$20?!? hope there's some quality tobacco in there. I'd probably just buy a nice cigar instead.
cxex 23
$20 is the cheap kind of cigarette lol
peasonearth 8
Obviously not someone you want to get to know
DEATHBYEX1LE 11
?
sens3sfailing 24
Cause not returning mail is one of the signs of a serial killer, no?
JONNBOY88 9
No but a definite sign of a bitch though..
cartedor 18
Wahaha idiot. Can't you just go bake chocolate cake and share it with her.
LiterOfCola 16
Build her a cake or someding.
MrPlopper 9
Someding? Sounds like a porno
charvisioku 22
Building a cake sounds fun. Is that where you bake loads of little cakes and use them like lego? :D
miyaviichan 27
52, that sounds fun too, tbh, but I think it was a Napoleon Dynamite reference.
LiterOfCola 16
53 got it. Hey, that's how Pedro says it in the movie.
Coolada 15
Why didn't you just initiate the mail-switching?
Dory123 9
That's what I was thinking. OP could have said that he saw how the mail was hers and then started up a conversation himself. Also maybe she didn't look through her mail yet because she was busy at the time.
T9FTW 20
He did. "After I delivered her mail..."
ttqq 7
Good luck with the theif
DEATHBYEX1LE 11
So much wrong with this comment
ttqq 7
She stole his mail. Please what's wrong.
amypr 20
She probably just hadn't looked at the mail yet. I really doubt she wants to steal your bills.
laya_fml 26
If he has dollar bills they may be worth stealing.
lmaouloser 5
Right, mail fraud is worth dollar bills! Science!
rockstar362 8
46- obviously you've never received money by mail before
asb818 14
When you told her you received her mail by mistake, you should have added that you didn't receive any of your own mail and ask if maybe both of yours were switched and she received yours.
intelliDude 7
It'd be funny if she witnessed you convincing the mailman. You never know when a neighbor is looking out their window.
BlowinChronic 18
She could never come out again and not answer the door and be the ultimate troll haha
Hiimhaileypotter 52
Especially if your neighbor is Aunt Petunia.
sens3sfailing 24
Yes complete self isolation and ruining her own life just be a troll to OP. because I'm sure she cares that much
alycion 38
Next time try using small talk to initiate a conversation.
stargirl_95 24
Small talk? What sorcery is this?
SmoothSeth 10
I bet she didn't think too much of it, and just assuming it was a simple mistake just switched the mail without thinking to talk to you. I have to say that was pretty clever though.
bestnameright 14
Nice try, but I think she might not be that into you.... Or she hasn't read her mail yet!