Love: Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to...

By AnonymousUser - 05/05/2012 00:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 266

You deserved it 2 732

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Same thing different taste

By i suck, this i know :( - 26/07/2013 22:11 - Malawi - Blantyre

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 137

You deserved it 71 683

By theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? - 31/05/2013 22:25 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 489

You deserved it 4 639

By Anonymous - 15/06/2014 21:29 - United States - Toledo

Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 977

You deserved it 3 895

By LuckySperm - 12/08/2011 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 419

You deserved it 3 130

Property dispute

By Anonymous - 19/01/2014 22:59 - United States - Dallas

Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 811

You deserved it 11 953

By Anonymous - 16/11/2014 00:04 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I asked my dad for advice. I recently got drunk and had a one-night stand. I feel terrible, because I'm engaged to a wonderful lady. My dad just said, "You did the right thing, son, keep it up. She's gonna steal half ya shit in the divorce anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 768

You deserved it 34 423

Surpriiiiiiise…

By Anonymous - 13/05/2022 12:00

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he might want kids one day, and he most definitely does not. In fact, he even thanked me for reminding him we need to stock up on condoms when we go shopping, plus he’s even considering a vasectomy just to make sure. I’m already pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 740

By Anonymous - 22/07/2010 06:44 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 016

You deserved it 3 397

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 487

You deserved it 2 883

Get on with it

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 370

You deserved it 3 172

FMLouis 6

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:32

That was a bit harsh

BruisedGiraffe 15

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:32

Ask if he can find you a coupon

Comments

FMLouis 6

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:32

That was a bit harsh

alexup24 13

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:49

A bit? That was completely harsh.

AugustBurnsToast 14

Saturday 5 May 2012 6:11

Haha sounds like an even angrier Red Forman. D:

Shadow2193 5

Saturday 5 May 2012 6:31

Just a wee bit

Jezlovespink 5

Saturday 5 May 2012 6:54

I wanted to 'like' this post lol

NuTrees 9

Saturday 5 May 2012 7:58

What?! Everyone's being so random. Including OPs dad. Who would be happy if he got a vasectomy??

evilscorpi 29

Saturday 5 May 2012 10:01

Any miserable baby mothers out there, that's who

bluevayero 42

Sunday 23 December 2012 8:55

but nonetheless true...

BruisedGiraffe 15

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:32

Ask if he can find you a coupon

jackassiddy 8

Saturday 5 May 2012 6:18

Buy one get one half off? ...Wait

CaptMurdock 25

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:34

Well that was unnecessary.

FYLminerocks 7

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:34

Woah. I have a feeling he's having trouble in his relationship as well and is taking it out on you. Talk to another nice adult ( they aren't all that mean) who has it all figured out.

CommiesRus 0

Saturday 5 May 2012 17:53

It's just his way of saying "I accidentally got someone pregnant"

smmiller1631 0

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:35

Guessing mom wants him to have one and he's takin the anger out on you. FYL OP

Neorecon19 18

Saturday 5 May 2012 14:29

OP is a guy.

Neorecon19 18

Saturday 5 May 2012 14:33

Sorry guys, wrong FML.

jerseyboy732 16

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:36

tell him you're gay and see his reaction

jaredofmo 22

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:48

This whole FML reminds me of an earlier one about a dad who told his son about overpopulation and was disappointed his son wasn't gay. ... Some dads are real jerks.