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Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24928) - you deserved it (2484)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

jmac's life also sucks
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it…

Major3 also deserved it
Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

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Just wait until she starts giving birth. She'll be screaming "I hate you! Why did you do this to Me you bastard!" haha. Don't worry. They're just empty threats (:

#2 - On 03/11/2012 at 11:10am by beckyxD

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+248 | 9

Looks like she was clearing off your desk for hot make-up sex after you apologize for not calling in a timely manner.

Give it to her doggie-style and try not to hit the baby ;)

#7 - On 03/11/2012 at 11:14am by perdix

See in context

+114 | 26

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