Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML
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Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
Today, I came home from an eight month deployment to find my wife four months into her pregnancy. She actually thinks that I believe it's mine. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend just got married because his "real" girlfriend is pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML
Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML
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Top comments
sweet_candy_ 17
She probably thinks you will be stupid enough to fall for it.
DocBastard 38
Your **** has obviously been whoring around without your knowledge. Take some responsibility for it, stupid. /King Missile
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Comments (256)
sweet_candy_ 17
She probably thinks you will be stupid enough to fall for it.
maximum408 0
your a terrible person
sloppyflow 1
and it is stupid enough to think that someone would be stupid enough to fall for stupid lie like this.
Autoshot 9
You are black.
deputy_g 5
lol this is funny Maury Maury!
RedPillSucks 31
Why is she a terrible person? She's not saying that's what she would do. She's making a perfectly valid assumption on what OPs girlfriend is doing.
Pham0023 12
wow. what a twit :sigh: is she mental or what?! I mean seriously does she honestly think for a second that he would fall for that crap.
AmberlovesJb 0
Twit = Pregnant Goldfish.
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
Well op, which is worse depends on how she was raised, because the nature and nurture of that baby may lead to the creation of more dumb bitches. FYL, and hopefully the real daddy is a nice guy; if not, comgratz on the baby and good luck on the gf that aren't truly yours!(: you'll do fine.
persianjr1 7
it's because they're not Persian like us huh number 3?
fl0ffy 0
that's sad y would she lie that's just stupid did she really think u would fall 4 it
Anai08 17
Actually I think OP's girlfriend isn't so much stupid as she is desperate. She obviously wants to think that OP's the dad. Maybe she wanted to tell him it was his in the hope that he wouldn't argue against it. Even so, it's still incredibly foolish and sad of a plan. But we all, whether we want to or not, have to deal with the consequences of our own actions.
sunshine233 0
51 win
epyk_prince 0
You're really cute! Just thought id share my thoughts
mfjkr 10
just wait till it comes out Peter griffin style...then you'll know it's not yours
lunargh 7
@84, a prat is a pregnant goldfish, a twat is a ****** and a twit is an idiot, from 'twite', a small sparrow-like bird. If you're gonna spew etymology for ***** and giggles, get it right.
xxkitsumoxx 0
:)
MellyLuck1484 7
especially since he said "which would be worse" and he means "which is worse"
plum_lovin 28
Jeez @215. Just because you know something others don't doesn't mean you have to be "twit" about it. (sorry if I got it wrong for cripes sake) and stop being such a douche.
tnfan5594 0
I have to say you have one of the dumbest girlfriends ever so sucks for you
Kolden 11
leave her.
DocBastard 38
Your **** has obviously been whoring around without your knowledge. Take some responsibility for it, stupid. /King Missile
Igor_g5 0
That's what I was thinking. Detachable penis.
Dudelike89 8
Eeek! A penis!
SadikOnuska 0
Has no one considered a detachable ******?
caboose003 0
awesome detachable penis reference FTW
ktrose 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe she is not lying haha. She could be pregnant, just not with your child. Being stupid on the other hand...
ktrose 0
Oh wait, just read OP's name, I can see it was implied that she cheated. Disregard my comment.
fthku 13
Are you serious?
yourmurderscenex 13
hey maybe your the girl's sister or something, cause what you just wrote made you sound like a dumb ass.
ktrose 0
Did you not just read my comment? I said disregard my comment.
ktrose 0
No 58, it did not make me sound like a dumb ass. Are you ignorant? Did you not read my comment which simply explained I did not read the OP's name? Of course you didn't. Otherwise you would realize placing your comment was unnecessary.
fuckmrsoftee 0
and then i grabbed her hair and yanked her head around, demanding her to take her fml comment back.. its pointless dont buy into baiting arguments online, and its a waste of time because its not like youre going to be able to do anything about it anyway. buy a sense of humor, watch southpark.
KiddNYC1O 20
Does it have to be southpark?
MissBunny25 0
give katrose a break, you filthy bitches. we all make mistakes. don't act like you haven't.
Prankster7o7 5
^ Careful getting this one off the hook, she's got some fangs! :P
rexxy75 3
I think that's the point she is but has cheated durr
amayaa_fml 7
why are you still with her?
oreobunbun 3
cuz the phone sex is good
Coldinside 12
Win.
ubetrwatchBN 5
Winning!
calbabe96 5
HAHAHAHA. made mah day
epyk_prince 0
Hey, im not lurking but I am curious after reading ur profile. What is puyallup anyways
_Seiya_ 0
Creepy........
ulicksam 0
And in the time it took for you to confess it, you could have dumped her. She obviously doesn't think too much of your intelligence and if you still call her your girlfriend, I kind of agree with her.
nutsackmuscle 0
I've heard of this. but I was under the impression that it could only be performed by chuck norris.
blonde313 5
That sucks!..It's really sad that she thinks she can get away with that!
MissBunny25 0
I love Lucy..FTW
persianjr1 7
you don't love Lucy? lol
MissBunny25 0
haha I'm so confused... my blonde side is coming out
jordanprodigy023 0
Dump that ho