Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Let's celebrate
Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML
Dumbass
Today, my son tried my great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Future Darwin Award
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Family values
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Time out
Today, after a fight, my boyfriend brought me a soda that exploded when I opened it. Furious at his constant childish bullshit, I threw his ass out. Two hours later, my son confessed that he'd shaken the cans as a joke. I tried to call my boyfriend, but he'd blocked my number. FML
Chemistry
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
As much as it won't replace the sentimental value in the slightest I would get him to pay for two or three times the value of the whiskey, and generally make his life hell for a while
nitsud82 14
Bright side, no jury in the world will convict when this goes to trial for murder.
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Comments (186)
Feklfekl2222 32
As much as it won't replace the sentimental value in the slightest I would get him to pay for two or three times the value of the whiskey, and generally make his life hell for a while
JustinJK 21
That could be impossible. My friends and I (stupidly) downed a bottle of one my father's whiskeys not knowing the value. It was a gift, but when I went to look at replacing it, the bottle cost like 10k+. I didn't even make 10k last year at my part time job.
captaincarlz 17
And that would be the point of "making his life hell"
Eariel 5
I don't get why #61 is being downvoted.
Maedusa 9
Why's is this being down voted? It's logical..
ZeusBeDubsteppin 24
because you can pay 100k.. over time. it doent have to be a lump sum. 100k being an example.
Vagitarian4life 14
At least it wasn't diet Pepsi.
derangedplanet 23
I can't get over how childish is it is to use a mixer. you have to take that shit like a man. male or female or inbetween. you tip that glass and you appreciate the burn.
Selene1090 26
I don't use mixers because I'm lazy, but I don't blame people who do. That shit tastes nasty.
MegasaurusRex89 28
It's not "childish" to use mixers or chasers. Obviously for that kind of whiskey, yeah, that was stupid. However, it not only tastes better, but helps prevent hangovers by introducing some source of hydration. It's a smarter way to drink, and you'll notice that's what adults do, not kids who just like to get ****** up.
derangedplanet 23
I guess I left a part out. I should say that exact whiskey. a Scottish aged whiskey? I can't see why anyone would use a mixer with it.
derangedplanet 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Also need I mention that soda isn't actually a form of hydration at all? I don't actually enjoy drinking. but what I'm saying is, I can't see why someone who does would do something as dumb as mixing that whiskey. and I've seen quite a few adults with just whiskey glasses. not chasers. so I don't know who you're kidding, but I'm not just some teen who wants to get ****** up. I'm just saying the bottle should've been respected.
MagnusDeus 24
I reeaaaaallly hate to be that guy... But it's a myth that soda dehydrates you. Just google it and see.
slackerjoe 22
depending what the mix is, it could actually cause de-hydration. sodas have too much sodium in them to hydrate you. it actually pulls the water out of your blood and makes you piss it out. same goes with a whole lot of other mixes or chasers. good luck kids
9a_1z 12
Being more hydrated doesn't reduce the risk of a hangover so much as drinking less alcohol does, both issues can be addressed by alternating alcoholic drinks and soft drinks, no need to do unspeakable things to the poor whisky. There are some pretty tasty cocktails involving whisky, but they usually involve the cheaper blended stuff, if you're mixing the proper stuff with anything other than a few drops of water or more whisky because you're worried about a hangover then you need to reconsider your drinking (and spending!) habits.
kirkaygri 18
This isn't a bottle of SoCo we're talking about. Feel free to mix that with whatever you want, but a good, aged whiskey isn't meant to be drunk with a mixer. Just a drop or two of water and sip it slowly. If you don't appreciate the taste of a fine spirit, stick to the large manufacturers. When I'm mixing, I buy a good mass produced, but when I'm sipping, I go for the good stuff. Also, most sodas have low sodium and don't dehydrate you.
Hunter_the_Ninja 22
You're not making your argument any better by continuing to comment and further your position.
psychopolarbear 28
Personally, I like the taste of straight whiskey. This whole debate is really just a "to each his own" as far as what is better. Still, cracking open a fine whiskey like that and mixing it like it's the cheap stuff is a sad, sad thing XD
freaky78 10
Actually using any kinda of soda will make your hangover a lot worse because of all sugar.
MiLM 37
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
May I suggest a drink to calm you down? lol but seriously, hide your stash better, or at least teach your son a what's the right way to drink whisky ;)
Rinat_fml 26
Why the hell would he hide a trophy like that?
lexos 16
Do you even know how expensive old whisky is?
derangedplanet 23
That's like asking why you don't let your 5 year old drive a car worth a huge penny. or any car at all. it's dumb. it's not hiding a treasure? it's keeping your affairs in order. so dumb ***** like his son can't ruin shit.
juturnaamo 29
You also probably don't hide your car keys from your 5 year old.
derangedplanet 23
But do you put him in the front seat in a running vehicle? we're not talking about not letting him learn how to open jars. we're talking about not letting him have that bottle.
leogachi 15
@3 Being a teenager and wanting to get wasted is no excuse for being an asshole. Op shouldn't have to hide his things in his own house.
MiLM 37
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Damn guys, I was kidding :) I myself don't support drinking (and apparently, but not so surprisingly, doesn't know much about the different... "treatments" for the drinks) nor hiding stuff from kids, cause if you do, they won't actually learn anything.
jaspinkgrl01 18
It can't be a secret party if wasn't kept secret
coming back in the future 30
"had" a secret party.
jaspinkgrl01 18
If op found out then it wasn't kept a secret
rickAUS 22
Probably found out when OP wanted some of that whisky.
RedPandax 23
Or when OP checked on it, it was gone.
leogachi 15
@11 It was a secret until after the party happened. It wasn't kept a secret forever, but it was a secret.
demix_fml 32
I hope he was hung over while you were shouting at him. It would of severed him right.
noonenoeone 22
Hopefully OP severed contact with his son...that would have served him right.
missyfiona89 28
served* I hope OP did not sever the kid.
KeannaLove 32
It would be justified though #46.
derangedplanet 23
I get now that you're correcting the original. though. severing an important body part or another does sounds quite in order.
ArturoJames 13
You are just on a terrible ******* streak of down votes.
elektra2 16
I hope he didn't use up the whole bottle.
Myo_fml 20
Me too, at least then Op would have a small piece of the sentiment. though, any dollar value went out the window as soon as it was opened.
Setareh23 34
If it was a large party though, it's probably all gone :/
nitsud82 14
Bright side, no jury in the world will convict when this goes to trial for murder.
BandAid1865 20
This was my though exactly! You don't mess with someone's whiskey.
kellyem2 20
Murder would be letting him get off easy.
dragoongirl90 34
Dammit, I tried to upvote this. Count one more vote in the positive, not the negative.
Daelynn_17 19
Sounds like a good time to practice the episode when the Cosby family did the drinking game on Vanessa. Time to teach him a lesson about irresponsible drinking.
needagoodlaugh 34
Not a good idea. A couple just did that to their son here locally. They are now in jail on charges of murder by alcohol poisoning.
genericfmluser 17
I would beat that child stupid, and this is why I shouldn't have kids
Mathalamus 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yeah, would you drink it anytime soon? It was just sitting there. Unused. For decades. If I was in your position, I would be glad that it was used for something.
Danishduckling 20
I sure wouldn't be glad it was used - as OP describes it, it had sentimental value, and properly a pretty decent monetary value aswell - good whiskey can get very very valuable as it ages, like wine, maybe OP was saving it for a special occasion? I can atleast understand why he got so pissed at his son.
kitsuneluvuh 12
I don't drink, and even I can recognize the value of a whisky bottle that old. And that's even without the sentimental value attached! A whisky that old is something that, if you choose to drink it and not just keep it as an heirloom, you save for a really, REALLY special occasion. Like end of the world special.
crandel 11
Whiskey doesn't age after it's bottled. Whiskey (and all spirits) only age when they are in the barrel and able to absorb flavours from the wood.
lexos 16
You know nothing about whisky. First of all you do not mix whisky unless it's cheap stuff like jack or Johnny Walker. Second of all a old bottle could be worth a few honderd or thousand dollars
9a_1z 12
Yeah.. mixing scotch whisky with Pepsi is like... using your mother's wedding dress to mop the floor. Thousands of Scotsmen cried out in terror when this happened.
missyfiona89 28
#36, *hundred
golden23 10
I'm sure if he was wanting to drink it he may have saved it for like his now disowned sons wedding or something Not for a house party where a bunch of ungrateful teens wanted to get drunk
PhoenixChick 26
It doesn't "age" in the sense of developing the liqour, but it is actually older and therefore rarer and worth more.