Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML
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Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML
Today, I'm stuck in bed with a fever, aches, and nasty cough. My kids and husband had it too, and kept coughing without covering their mouths, despite my asking several times so I wouldn't get sick. FML
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
Today, my teenage son caught COVID and has passed it on to me. He's completely unaffected, and joking that he wants to catch it again, to get another week off school. I'm lying in bed, with a pounding headache, shivering so violently I'm shaking. FML
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Today, my adult son is visiting, sick on my couch with influenza A. He's spent all week screaming about how anti vaxxers are stupid, but admits that he didn't get a flu shot because, "they don't work." I got my flu shot and still got sick because I'm immunocompromised. He fails to see the irony. FML
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
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Top comments
MateRicks 18
Smart kid.
Zeishah 26
Such a creepy sight to wake upto:|
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Comments (128)
colton_colton 50
How have you raised your kids..?
TyT63 12
he shoulda stood out in the cold instead
elibel 16
He was trying to find a FLUke in the system.
rebel_mystic 11
you should never ask a parent that unless they are doing something really wrong. every kid tries to get sick or fake sick so they don't have to go to school. that has nothing to do with how she raised her children.
FangirlingAlways 14
I have faked being sick before and my parents are great at parenting. I faked vomiting. XD
FracturedMinds 21
Not sure if I would be proud of that one 31.
euphoricness 28
Let's be honest, if You've ever been truly sick, you would much rather go to school than suffer from it.
FracturedMinds 21
High School sucked. I'd rather stay home with the flu.
Dthsapprntc 23
A lot of people have wanted to be sick just so they didn't have to go to school. This generally happens when they have not been really sick, like had the flu, in a while and have sort of forgotten how misserable they were. I've done this, and then was rewarded with actually getting the flu and spent the few lucid moments I had for the next week wondering why I was stupid enough to actually want to get the flu.
Zeishah 26
Such a creepy sight to wake upto:|
MateRicks 18
Smart kid.
bellebe1998 16
Sounds like something I would do.
greg84_fml 21
@3 Doesn't sound so smart to me. It takes a few days for the flu to set in after being exposed to it. Being truly sick is never fun, and will be more painful and stressful ten just dealing what his is putting off.
doodlecloud 26
I'd much rather pretend to be ill or make up some other excuse than actually get ill, and by breathing in another person's germy breath no less - gross! I don't think I could do that if you paid me. Just...ew. For the record, I find the best excuse is a migraine - pretty hard to prove someone hasn't got a migraine and you can recover pretty quickly if you need to.
tukies 28
I'm not sure 52. My parents got my headache face down pretty freaking good. I always learned honesty was the best policy. If I needed a break from school. I explained this, and they understood. No since in skipping, or faking sick.
smokecloud_ 37
Must be nice, 68. If I ever tried to tell my parents I "needed a break from school", they'd laugh in my face. Faking sick was all I had!
doodlecloud 26
Afraid I'm with 73. I hate lying but my parents would never have just let me have a day off, even if it was actually detrimental to my schooling to not let me stay home.
Dthsapprntc 23
This is when having chronic migraine comes in pretty handy. It's pretty easy to get to stay home from school/work. The only downside is, of course, the migraines.
Danne696 14
Yea, it was the same for me. If I just told my parents that I didn't feel like going to school they understood. It was pretty much the same thing with the school as well, or at least my teachers, since I'd never lie to them either and they knew it they seemed to respect that when I told them that I didn't come because I didn't feel like it. It was only those that were a bit behind or running a risk of failing a class that they were harsh with.
Dumb_dude 35
Seems like a good idea. If your kid has kept their grades up and they don't have any tests or projects due on that day, a free pass for a day sounds like a good reward.
junkman6 22
Getting days off was the only reason I did homework in highschool. I found out I could pass with a B average by getting hundreds on all the tests and never touching homework. I decided to never do homework, so my old man made a deal with me. Two weeks of no missing homework was a free day pass. I actually did all my homework the last two years of highschool.
Martnikk 15
Don't blame the kid for wanting to stay away from school for a while
panicsdisaster 17
next time he should sit on a heater vent under a blanket then have you feel his forehead. works every time.
LowExpectations 30
Too bad you blew it by telling OP. Now she knows if her son is faking.
sporteeholmes01 15
And I think that much cause a fire....... Heat, blanket........ You know
glabberfasted 16
If OP had a fever herself, she won't be able to feel a fever on someone else.
olpally 32
Make him go to school, he'll need his education. What an idiot.
Nilorak 24
Idiot :)
ksks1234 33
You never faked being sick?
uoeno_fml 20
This guy always has something negative to say.
olpally 32
No, I've never faked being sick.
Codezlol 21
There's a difference faking being sick and actually trying to get sick. Obviously op's son has never actually had the flu.
paigexox0 37
Ah shit i missed today though! I guess my education is down the drain. Im such an idiot :(
utrax 23
Sure, education is important, but he's fifteen. Being home from school for a few days is not the end of the world.
Zeishah 26
Such a creepy sight to wake upto:|
booboohoney 12
One time I took a laxative and told my mom I had the ***** and couldn't go to school.... Worst day ever.... I learned super quick that was a BAD idea. And I still had to go to school. I came out ok regardless of my dumb teenage ideas. There's hope OP :) lol
karlcolt45 19
make him take some nasty tasting cold/cough syrups. I stopped even telling my mom when I was actually sick because of bubblegum robotussin
bahamut357 16
That can't be any worse then Buckley's. That stuff tastes nasty and burns on the way down.
FracturedMinds 21
Whoever named that bubblegum must have had really shitty parents if they gave him bubblegum that tastes like that. Shit's nasty...
ilovemsminaj 13
Nothing's worse than those prescription meds for strep throat they either taste like vomit or are huge pills
drarraise17 4
I had to take Caster Oil, my friend.
antonia789 17
Well atleast he didn't do anything even stupider
sporteeholmes01 15
I don't know....... I think that was pretty high on the list of stupid things to do