Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML
Today, after my father in law upset my 6-year-old son by telling him creating a world in Minecraft is a sin, because only god is allowed to create worlds so all Minecraft players will burn in hell one day, it's been 5 days since he's slept right because he’s scared the Devil will burn him if he falls asleep. FML
Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
Today, I found a disturbing video on my 8-year-old's tablet. In the video, I was suffering from sleep paralysis. He's convinced I'm part demon. FML
Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML
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Top comments
asoep 4
run, run far away
Trivision 10
Oh no, not another Paranormal Activity! This will be like, what? 27?
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Comments (190)
asoep 4
run, run far away
PterodactylMan 23
Fast. Never look back, it smells fear
BubbleGrunge 18
No! Don't run! Call Sam and Dean!!!!
hallix 21
The Winchesters are your only hope.
zyperman43 19
Run you clever boy, and remember...
Nordrag 26
Swim away swim away!!! That's right bitches. I brought finding Nemo in on this.
Mimi_the_PitBull 1
Yes!!!!! Love Sam & Dean>>>>>
ThatOneTimeLord 25
Run, Op, run
SwaggCapone 11
Yeah, you may wanna call a psychiatrist
tjv3 10
Congrats your child is a psychopath
DaniPandi 22
Or possibly a schizophrenic.
Nickb55 16
Or he's just a little kid and little kids have imaginary friends? Still doesn't excuse how creepy it is but all kids have had imaginary friends
TheDoctorDonna 23
Most if these comments made my year.
BreadTruck123 6
run forest run ??????
xenmarkal51 6
Well then....
Jake_Hale 7
LOL oh my god! There's only one way to find out OP. sleep and see what Steve does ;)
Pinkgal123 24
Is this FROM STEVE?
madreedy 7
Reminds me of the movie "Hide and seek"
Welshite 40
I am scared of Steve. He reminds me of my imaginary friend Bob.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Toby's brother much?
ShyAnn29 15
My imaginary friend was nice, her name was Amy lol
omg36 7
REDRUM REDRUM!
Trivision 10
Oh no, not another Paranormal Activity! This will be like, what? 27?
kenoswild 14
I was just thinking of paranormal activity 4 which I watched just the other day. Damn. I'm glad my kid doesn't have imaginary friends....yet.
corocoro 30
One born every minute.
posie97 18
Paranormal activity is serious..!!! Those of you who don't have the ability to interact with spirits, I suggest you stop making jokes!!!!!
dawnimus 21
#31 can't tell if trolling, or just really stupid...
confusedAsFuck 34
#31 can't tell if you're a dumb ******* bitch or just a bitch
Treveyon56 14
36 Why not both?
ILoveMyArm 15
@50 Though I agree that her comment was stupid, you don't have to be so harsh. Did it really anger you so much to the extent where you have to call her a "dumb ******* bitch"?
ILoveMyArm 15
@62 I am not whining, I am just shocked by how riled up some of the commenters can get from a simple comment. Maybe try investing in a cat? I hear they do wonders in simmering one down. ;)
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
ilovemyarm--I agree w u. some women take calling them a "bitch" really serious and offensive. I mean if u guys are ok with calling a girl a bitch coz she stated her opinion bout paranormal activity...then why dont we mind as well call her a ****..etc.. some people take names to heart. fml doesnt need to throw them around like it's just a word.
bakabaka714 8
#31 is right guys, though it is just a movie, there are actual hauntings that sometimes go like that, the techinical term(s) for it is a Demonic Haunting (Poltregiest Haunting) i'm a ghost investigator myself, and from the stories i heard, those kinds of hauntings can literally scar you for life
Mossears133 15
106- FML is a place in which people come to laugh at other people's misfortune. If someone can't take heat for actually believing that those movies are real, then they should remove themselves from here immediately.
CorpsmanUp88 21
Steve isn't imaginary
Soniye 14
Just to be on the safe side you should see a professional since that behavior shouldn't be tolerated, especially from such a young one. I hope everything goes good for you and your son Op!
Bubbelz 25
I don't think #5 is the OP.
Soniye 14
I know I just commented on their post so I wouldn't be in some last page and the Op wouldn't get to read my good regards c:
GenH2105 14
Steve is Satan.
Phfaithe 1
... And Steve turns out to be Jigsaw!
Ameel_fml 19
Or Steve is the OP's split personality. :O
ShyAnn29 15
Or it's Steve Jobs!!!!
HeartOfLead 24
Steve might not be imaginary... He might be dead.
nerdking21 10
And look a lot like Bruce Willis.
RpiesSPIES 27
Or Mr. Jobs.
Capriccio22 13
When I was little my dad said I had an imaginary friend that sounded exactly like a friend he had that died. He says some of the things I used to say, or say 'she' said sounded eerily similar to his friend. I can't even remember her now so, provided op survives the next 1 - 2 years, she/he has nothing to worry about, it's usually just a phase.
ashleyyybrooke94 9
Better get him checked by a professional before you go to sleep and dont wake up. steve doesnt sound like a very friendly friend.
punkyboy 11
did you do something to piss steve off. horror movies have taught me to never mess with imaginary friends
ahippienamedrae 10
....Maybe you should get him tested for Schizophrenia or something. o.o
Ameel_fml 19
There's no need to jump the gun. 3-7 is the average age that children have an imaginary friend, and one (possibly innocent) incident isn't reason to have him tested for serious mental illness. Not to mention, schizophrenia is VERY rare in people under the age of 10.
caesari 14
He said it was rare, not impossible. Pointing out one case does nothing to disprove that notion.
LemonandLime 13
A 6 year old who is probably older now? Woah dude, people age now? This is engaging stuff.
ShyAnn29 15
There was a show on TLC about her, I forget what her name is though.
skyttlz 32
There's a girl that's been on several talk shows because she has one of the most severe cases of schiz that doctors have ever seen. Her name is Jani and she's either 9 or 10 now.
Ameel_fml 19
"Also, most kids' imaginary friends don't tell them to kill their parents." Yeah, but nothing in the FML says that the imaginary friend DID tell the son to kill his parent. That was just the OP's assumption. For all we know, he WAS just playing a game with a pillow. That's what I mean though...Parents nowadays are so quick to assume their kid has a serious mental illness/disorder after one or two weird incidences. They shove their kids into therapy, tests or medication because they don't want to deal with their kids acting out. Or they see something on a medical show and convince themselves that their kids have that illness. Take the people in the comment section for example...so many are telling the OP to get their kid tested for schizophrenia, despite the fact that nobody here knows anything about the child (or his medical history) beyond this FML, and that it is HIGHLY unlikely a child of that age would even have schizophrenia. They're just crying "schizophrenia!" because it's a disorder people are familiar with and the behavior KIND OF sounds schizophrenia-ish.
snugglesMcGee199 23
Thank you for being the voice of reason! Judging by the wording of what the kid said, it's more logically sound to believe that the kid was going to hit his parent with the pillow while his parent is sleeping. One suspicious looking incident does not mean that the child has mental issues or that anything at all is wrong with him. Parents who jump to conclusions as soon as a child exhibits the slightest oddity are the reason so many children are over medicated with meds that they don't even need. That and the sensationalist view of psychological problems and learning disabilities that is perpetrated by the media. Do your research, Moms and Dads, before you go and spend a ton of money of medications and therapy for behavior that will pass or can be dealt with in a more natural way.
ShyAnn29 15
134, that's her name! She has a little brother named Brody who showed some of the same signs, but last I saw/heard is that he hadn't been diagnosed yet.
ShyAnn29 15
138 and 146, I completely agree!
softballer98 2
I know 2 kids under 10 with diagnosed schizophrenia so it's not that rare.. I don't know that many kids
softballer98 2
It still wouldn't hurt to atleast get the child checked out if any body told me their kid did this I would be scared for them until their child atleast goes to their doctor