Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Thanks, son
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Little shit
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
STRANGER DANGER
Today, I was picking up my 10 year-old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
Stranger danger
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML
Never joke with TSA
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Top comments
EdwardC777 9
That beyond blows. Airport security isn't fun when you're NOT being accused of smuggling firearms
jessejamesc 8
when he goes into the next grade, tell the teacher he lies about everything he says and to never ever trust him, *wink*
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Comments (102)
EdwardC777 9
That beyond blows. Airport security isn't fun when you're NOT being accused of smuggling firearms
yahoowizard 16
It's not a matter of trying not to look stupid, but rather take every single threat seriously.
fareith 15
83 - You are extremely ignorant. It is very possible to get guns past the detectors, they are not foolproof
fareith 15
My dad is the VP of an airline. I spend my life at airports. First off, there are nonmetallic weapons, which are becoming much more common with criminals. Second, you are able to get things past the checkpoint without passing them through the scanner. Your body just needs to go through. Stop arguing and just admit that you lost.
WTF_BRAIN 11
@158 I definetely see where you are coning from, airports certainly have more than just metal detectors. They probably would see a shape, but especially in a bag, it would be easy to conceal it and make it look like something else. The point being, even though airport security doesn't exist out of metal detectors, it would be able to get a gun past. And I highly doubt that airport security would let any chance of a machine gun getting smuggled onto a plane pass.
Tankkiller308 16
The new 3d printers make guns with no metal and minimum the bolt and spring cam be keep in the carry on so yes you can get past security as long as you have the actual plastic on you and a gun with a thin sheet of lead over top could Change the shape enough to fool the carry on and checked luggage can have gun in them as long as their in a locked gun case
jessejamesc 8
when he goes into the next grade, tell the teacher he lies about everything he says and to never ever trust him, *wink*
WaltzingPhanthom 23
That's what my mom did after I told her that the stains on my pants were caused by me spilling Apple juice. I wasn't lying.
browneyedgirl52 13
Airport threats are never taken lightly. I hope your son didn't get any candy and that your flight was otherwise pleasant.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
Don't take this as an insult..but you totally look like that girl from superstar. That 90's movie with the chick who smells her armpits. It's a really ridiculous movie. Again I am totally not trying to sound like an asshole, you just made me think of that. Haha.
AwesomeMe124 9
you're thinking of "Superstar"
Ian7890 23
Not to butt-in here or anything, but I read his and your comment 5 times over again and I'm pretty sure that's exactly what he said.
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
The girl from Superstar, is Molly Shannon FYI.
wlddog 14
You got that right 84. The rest of that little bastards summer should be full of pulling weeds and being reminded every single day why they are being punished. OP has a lot of parenting to do because they have obviously been slacking in that department.
Scynistr 20
Not to be disrespectful.. But the kid lying and trying to get his dad in trouble is just a natural thing to for kids to do. I won't say every child would.. That would be assuming too much, but I'm sure there are a good many who would. This isn't about a lack of parenting so lets not judge OP.. Call it a learning experience for op's kid.. I'm sure if handled right he won't ever do it again..
poopface82 23
You're joking, right? Yes, the parents should have made it clear that this is not something to be joked about, but in this case, I hope this kid ends up un-grounded somewhere in the vicinity of his 80th birthday. That or spends time in juvie. Stupid kid.
WTF_BRAIN 11
#144 I don't know where you grew up, but I'm fairly sure that it's not normal for kids to get their parents interrogated by airport security for carrying assault weapons. It's fairly obvious that OP has a pretty spoiled kid, and he needs to change that.
IHaveThePower 16
He's *six*. Just explain that was bad, refrain from buying him candy for ONE day, and let it go at that. Jesus, I wouldn't do that to a teenager, let alone a six-year-old--they're allowed to be young and stupid. And before you ask, my own is working on college and high school simultaneously at 16 and running marathons. Your kids don't turn out monsters if you treat them well.
kpc2424 13
I sooooo hope my son doesn't become that angrily creative!
ohjoy15 33
In all honesty... He needs some intense discipline. At 6 years old, I wouldn't even dare as to pull a stunt like that! FYL OP.
dantee2005 33
At 6 years of age. U wouldn't even know how to pull that stunt. His son is evil genius.
CaptMurdock 25
Agreed #5. My parents would've killed me for pulling something like that, at any age.
RedPillSucks 31
@10 Actually, at 6yrs old most kids are relatively smart enough to know what going on and are perfectly capable of pulling that kind of stunt.
AngrySailor 17
My friends young son wrote "help kidnapped" in the dirt on the back of the car when he wasn't given ice cream on a family vacation...
maddienoelle 13
Time for a time-out!
bootyful86 7
That's the problem with kids these days, parents result to bullshit "time-outs" instead of proper discipline.
SillyGirl4602 23
Op's child needs more than just a time out. He needs actual discipline.
TheBrochure 22
#73 & #95 - Please take at least One child development class before (and if) either of you decides to become a parent.
Hiimhaileypotter 52
#119- Kid needs punishment. And discipline doesn't always equal abuse. What would you rather OP do, slap him lightly on the wrist and say, "No no Johnny, what you did what was bad and it got mommy in trouble. Sit in this chair for 5 minutes to think about what you did," and then not actually make the kid realize what he did won't be tolerated? If OP lets this go he will know that he will win against her every time. I would recommend no video games (messing with airport security is serious and could've cost OP their flight) and possibly no friends, for however long you see fit, OP. Don't let the little shit get away with it :P
Damian95 16
Beat. His. Ass.
browneyedgirl52 13
Yeah, that'll show him not to take extreme action against situations he doesn't like.
Jharrist89 12
Hell, you can't even do that these days!
SlapAndTickle 20
Brown, according to your profile you are 19. Do you even have kids that are around 5 or 6? If not then kindly shut up. I'm so tired of seeing people tell other's how kids should be disciplined and raised when they don't have any of their own. You can't spank your kid now days without getting CPS called because of ignorant people. People wonder why kids are so mannerless and unruly these days. It's because their parents can't raise them properly without going to jail or getting their kids taken away because if people with your mind set.
Derpet 18
So, you think that parents should beat their kids? Geez, you should be the one in jail. No one is going to learn anything from violence.
ohjoy15 33
It's so funny reading #6 and #7 consecutively! -I'm too easily amused.
SlapAndTickle 20
Discipline yes. It's quite obvious he didn't mean to beat the kid to a pulp but to spank him. You guys need to chill the **** out. As a person who was very truely beaten as a child, I support spankings.
bobbington9298 10
I'm 15 years old, and my dad is not afraid to give me a good snack when I'm being stupid or disrespectful, and it hasn't made me turn out worse, in fact I think it has helped me over the years. Plus it's not like he "beats" me. Whenever I'm disciplined I usually deserve it, and my dad is never too harsh, he just gets the message across that would I did was bad, and would not be tolerated. People really need to chill out about this, hitting kids when they have been bad has been going on forever, an it's only recently that society has made an effort to stop it. Before that almost every single kid was hit by their parents at some point, and they all turned out fine. Rant over.
greenfishbait 19
Sometimes you don't have to resort to violence. My parents never ever hit me, but would sit me down and explain to me that what I did was wrong and tell me they were disappointed in me. Since they actually knew how to communicate, they never had to just hit me and hope I learned a lesson. And I never would have even thought about pulling a stunt like this. Any time I was uncertain about something, I would think " would daddy be disappointed in me?" And base my decision off that answer. I still do that sometimes. Even though in this situation, any child would deserve a good beating, communication is THE most important thing in disciplining a child. You should never just hit a kid and assume they learned a lesson.
SWC_Penguin 17
People who beat their kids are shocked when they find out they have no control over them at age 16. You're better off building up psychological controls that continue to work after they're too big to hit anymore. But good luck with alcohol, sex, and cars without an effective discipline method on your side. That should be fun for you. I'm working on controlling MY 6 year old with methods that don't have an 10-year expiration date.
SlapAndTickle 20
Yeah read what you want and ignore the rest. I said spanking not beating. Let's all get over dramatic. Ohmaigerd.
SWC_Penguin 17
So you're going to spank your teenager to keep them from drinking? Did that work for you? That seems unlikely to work to me.
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
So if lack of physical discipline is causing unruly children why is there research that indicates that spanking makes children more likely to be physically violent than children who aren't spanked? The study also proved these children to have shorter tempers, lower frustration thresholds, were more likely to one day hit a parent because their parent had been communicating the message that hitting is acceptable and were more likely to think violence is an effective form of conflict resolution.
Derpet 18
Seems like 90% of the people on FML support chastizing, my case here is over. I was raised perfectly fine without it and it shall continue this way for my offspring. Haters gonna hate.
SlapAndTickle 20
Ok, let me be level headed here. No two kids are the same. Parents will raise their OWN kids the way they see fit. You don't like it when I express what my opinion is on "talking to" your 5 year old like you would a 20 year old, perhaps people don't like it when you do the same and start yelling child abuse and telling me I should go to jail for spanking.
wlddog 14
It is soooo easy to see who has raised kids and who hasn't. I remember life before kids and how right I was all the time. You idiots without kids but still giving parental advice, keep talking. You will only shove your own feet into your mouth further and further when reality spanks you. As an ex-cop I can say this with experience. Spank your kids when they are young, so cops are not forced to beat their ass when they are a teen.
pumboc 23
This discipline argument is tiring and never-ending. I was smacked as a child and my parents didn't need to worry about "alcohol, sex and cars" when I was 16. Why? Because they taught and indoctrinated in me the difference between right and wrong from a very young age. This kid needs a good teaching, but if he is behaving like this at six, I am sorry but I have to question OP's methods.
Scynistr 20
I love it.. I don't have kids, but my brother is 3. I've been handling him when he's in trouble because his mother won't. Lets just say.. He sure doesn't act out for me.
_parth 20
I commented something very similar on other post of kid being dumb. And they blocked my comment saying "keep that creepy beating child thing to yourself"
dantee2005 33
Wait till he gets little older. U will have fun next 14 years
MissWhitneyB 17
Kids just do the "darndest" things
Samuraiguy 8
That's ******* funny lol
iLike2Teabag 27
It is!? No way!!
Hiimhaileypotter 52
It wouldn't be funny if it was YOUR kid and YOUR flight.
i_h8t_everything 12
Are you her son?