Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Same thing different taste
The people of TikTok must be stopped
Today, I was sitting on the couch watching TV when I felt something crack on my head. My 6 year-old son had just smashed an egg into my hair. When I asked why, he said, "Mom does it for TikTok." This is how I found out that my wife has been "pranking" him for likes, and thinks it's hilarious. FML
Served cold
Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, I pretended to have a heart attack so my baby sister would know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she drank my soda instead of helping me. FML
Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML
Proof
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Home improvement
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Top comments
saksxalmo 20
World's youngest troll?
willbur73q 7
I have to say, I do love a good prank. Cruel, yes. Well done, for sure.
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Comments (154)
saksxalmo 20
World's youngest troll?
Clioo_fml 17
She must be. Maybe OP, you should tell her about the Boy Who Cried Wolf story...
happle 21
But it wouldn't matter if she's really dead.
alphalfa 7
This comment couldn't of said it better :) Trolled!
Axipiter 24
I feel like it's been corrected so many times now that people have to have seen the proper wording for it, and are just doing it on purpose now to piss people off.
SiriusBlack97 17
I think so.
angeluv_2014 22
You know, I don't really think THAT many people acctually care so ******* much about perfect grammar. I think they just think it makes them sound smart and in touch with one of the heights of the new hipster age. I understand being bothered by people who "tipe lik dis :P;):(((", but otherwise, if you can marginally understand the comment, don't go all grammar nazi when trully no one should give a ****.
SailorSolaris 43
World's youngest troll.
xtna 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ketchup and blood look pretty different...
TheChiver 7
Not when you're a mom of a five year old...
docscientist 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No. They are easily discernible.
happle 21
You've obviously never cared for a child.
TheDrifter 23
Give it fifteen minutes. Half dried Heinz and partially congealed blood look strikingly similar, especially if she left thicker sections to look like clotted wounds.
ShyAnn29 14
Even if ketchup looks different, you'd panic if you saw that, especially when a child is involved.
mmaflake 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Only if you're prone to panic.
mmaflake 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
@35 caring for a child means you don't know ketchup anymore? I must be doing it wrong.
Roskie 16
^So if you saw a kid laying on the floor covered in liquid that looks like it might be blood, you'd just nudge him/her and say "get up bro"?
poccocurantes 7
I think people are just jaded by modern movie gore. I pulled this one on my parents when I was a kid and it freaked them out. If the teenage brother had any brains he would have played with it until it looked like the real thing. Also a lot of people don't know what blood looks like in that kind of situation anyway which is probably a good thing.
EvilUndead 9
20, some people are really cold-blooded.
docscientist 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No, some people can just assess a situation before freaking out.
docscientist 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm going to have to say that claiming someone doesn't have kids or certainly never cared for any because they would react differently you in a given situation is a douchebag sentiment.
mmaflake 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If I saw a kid lying on the floor in what might be blood, this might seem weird, I would check to see if it was actually blood.
Jumpingmal2 7
^ would you dip your finger in it and taste it? A good parents first reaction would be panic or something similiar Whoever says differently isn't fit to be a parent?
Carmstro 13
105, seriously? Your first reaction would be to check if it's legit??????? Do you not realize that you might be a little preoccupied with the first thing you saw: an unconscious looking child covered in red stuff sprawled on the floor before the rationality bit of any part of your brain kicked in? Also OP was most likely at least 10 feet away to start... She wouldn't have even been able to tell immediately.
mmaflake 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yes you're all right. Panic is always the most reasonable reaction. I'm mentally unstable and unfit to parent because I can be rational and avoid panic.
sux4u121 10
Hmmm, my possibly dying child is lying on the floor, I think it would be a good idea to not help, and make sure it's legit. You are the definition of dipshit.
EvilUndead 9
115 the first reaction would be to see if this is actually a child that needs help. Could be a dummy. Could be an object that looked similar because you didn't sleep enough or have a poor eyesight. Also, ketchup and blood smell differently. Panic is pointless - in emergency people can die because their "saviors" panicked instead of applying first aid.
CamcAmIaM 10
First thing I'd start is first aid, not scream. Not going to help much, that.
docscientist 9
121, Id rather not panic in an actual emergency situation. Im sure it would be difficult to tell ketchup from blood with normal skin tone of your daughter within the time it takes one to panic.
dead247 13
Granted it was a prank but being able to asses a situation then go about things from there seems to be better. In such a situation getting your child help instead of crying about it would be top priority. Not to be the bearer of bad news but everyone dies, we just don't like knowing it happens to children.
mydadpulledout 17
the immense amount of stupidity on this thread makes me want to stick a railroad spike in my eye. who's going to think their 5 year old is smart enough to make fake blood and play dead?
mmaflake 19
This really got out of hand quickly. I thoroughly enjoyed that though. All I really wanted to say was 1. In agreement with the other person ketchup and blood are easily discernable. Especially in larger quantities. 2. Panic in any situation is totally useless. Think about the number of situations in your life have been solved with panic. Don't give the crap about "well when you have kids it's different". For some people it certainly is different. But it doesn't have to be. I'm sure panic has never helped those children. (Except for this little girl who got a great laugh from her mother's panic.)
TwoOneFive 11
Defiantly agree with you^
ShyAnn29 14
I didn't mean that I'd panic and totally lose it, obviously panicking can often lead to a more severe situation.
trulymickeyj 13
You wouldn't ******* care what is blood and whats not if your child is lying on the ground looking dead!
ShyAnn29 14
142, I never said that. If you're talking to someone else, then just ignore my comment lol.
angeluv_2014 22
You would care "what's blood and what's not", you idiot. If it WAS blood- holyshit: get help. If it was ketchup- beat the shit out of your kid for scaring you like that. You're freaking dumb.
yannabanah 9
THAT escalated quickly.
SailorSolaris 43
Not really. I've made the same mistake, and I'm no mom.
willbur73q 7
I have to say, I do love a good prank. Cruel, yes. Well done, for sure.
egrudy 9
Sounds like an awesome home to grow up in. A family that pranks together well is always looking over there shoulder
FastidiousPear 6
What a waste of ketchup!
emeraldisle 30
Troll kids strike again.
Welshite 39
She has the makings of a successful actress; you should be proud.
Feared 9
Or a successful hotdog.
Charmillionaire 13
Give her a cupcake that changes their pee color. Tell her her bladder is failing.
ManInTheMachine 19
She's five, will she even know what a bladder is?
Charmillionaire 13
Well then, say "Well honey, looks like you really are dying."
etchsanity1 11
Red food coloring in the shower head after letting them stay up watching scary movies
Tigerblossom 19
Just wait for April fools day...
ICastillo 24
Yup, I see a lot of future mini heart attacks coming OPs way. I hope she has a strong heart.
ciumegu 6
Her childhood is going to cause you a lot of dispair
Coop817 19
0.0
DocBastard 38
This calls for revenge. Surely your son has a vast stash of **** on his computer- find it, erase it all, and replace it with pictures of Grandma. He won't speak to you for a year, but it'll be worth it.
Coop817 19
#9 has this happened to you before?
DocBastard 38
No, but I'm a parent and I WAS a teenage boy once, so I know all the tricks.
poccocurantes 7
Sadly when I was a boy there was no Internet ****. I did however find that someone had put Field and Stream back into the F and S covers that were under the bed.
ICastillo 24
No!!! Not the ****!!! The **** is innocent in all this.
kakarot2 11
Who saves **** when there are free streaming websites?
Zomg_Okay 26
People who are concerned about the Internet dropping out.
mybluedream 8
I would've countered by yelling for my son to go get the shovel.
Maddy9111 11
that would have been epic!
oicu812xD 16
Except the mom didn't know it was a prank until the kid laughed