Kids: Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to...

By Nightmare - 15/01/2013 14:41

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 053

You deserved it 4 743

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

The people of TikTok must be stopped

By Phil The Man - 04/09/2023 05:00

Today, I was sitting on the couch watching TV when I felt something crack on my head. My 6 year-old son had just smashed an egg into my hair. When I asked why, he said, "Mom does it for TikTok." This is how I found out that my wife has been "pranking" him for likes, and thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 99

By Anonymous - 18/12/2009 20:27 - United States

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 4 833

By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 130

You deserved it 6 494

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 23:19 - United Kingdom - Falkirk

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 240

You deserved it 5 803

By life insurance for 1 - 30/05/2013 16:29 - United States - Encino

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 696

You deserved it 5 580

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 10:00

Today, I pretended to have a heart attack so my baby sister would know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she drank my soda instead of helping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 1 711

By burned - 03/02/2015 20:45

Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 983

You deserved it 2 392

By George Saunders - 21/03/2012 04:06 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 082

You deserved it 53 470

Home improvement

By ... - 27/07/2014 05:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 301

You deserved it 5 379

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 504

You deserved it 30 111

saksxalmo 20

Tuesday 15 January 2013 19:09

World's youngest troll?

willbur73q 7

Tuesday 15 January 2013 19:11

I have to say, I do love a good prank. Cruel, yes. Well done, for sure.

Comments

PenguinBitch 43

Tuesday 15 January 2013 19:51

They did the prank on you because they saw me smoke weed. #PrankForPenguin

McAninch35 9

Wednesday 16 January 2013 18:15

wut

tazrek01 6

Tuesday 15 January 2013 19:54

You're an idiot!

crazytwinsmom 25

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:13

Are you talking to OP or penguin?

SoultheWolf 19

Tuesday 15 January 2013 19:56

I really hope you punish them both...

10showgirl 16

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:08

This means war. Time to play dirty.

thestoryofmylyf 20

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:24

Hahaha, bad prank ,but good

ronski 41

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:27

Well done to your daughter on a great performance, thankfully mine didn't do that. Time for her to exit stage left

KaiCer0 8

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:29

Best dramatic scene goes to...*insert drumroll* your daughter!

Reaper1984 13

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:34

And the Oscar goes to....

MalzxTheTerrible 4

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:43

That's awesome! I'd be proud of my troll children, and then plot my revenge.

Satoaoi 13

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:55

classic ketchup bit lol

Keywords

Awkward Health Motherhood Transportation Money Lonely Dentist Sadness Work Abuse Nepotism Relatable Ironic Miscellaneous Birthday Parents Food AITA Intimacy Sex Virginity Love Mental health OCD Cute Cleaning Housework Creepy Kids Argument

The Top

Today, I had a tooth pulled. An hour or so later, I removed the gauze from my mouth, because I thought the bleeding had stopped. I got on my laptop. A few minutes later I looked down, to see that I had drooled blood all over the keyboard, and didn't know because my mouth was numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 874

You deserved it 33 941

Today, while feeling really ill, I pumped myself full of caffeine so that I'd be ready to run an online gaming session. I managed to maintain until I realized one of the players hadn't responded for two hours. She went AFK without telling anyone, holding up progress, for the 4th time. I don't know why I bother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 366

The Top

Today, my mom told me I was worthless and could not do anything by myself. Determined to prove her wrong I attempted to install the AC that I had neglected to put in for the past month. While placing it on the window it fell through landing on her prized roses and breaking into pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 683

You deserved it 16 472

Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 517

You deserved it 70 032

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 363

You deserved it 6 028

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 52

Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 331

You deserved it 83 877

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me showering in the dark. When he asked why, I just told him it’s more relaxing for me. Truth is, after losing 120 lbs, I’m so disgusted by the look of my sagging skin that I can’t bear to see myself naked anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 866

You deserved it 354

Same thing different taste

The people of TikTok must be stopped

Home improvement

Daddy's in the shit again

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