Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML
Today, I went out on a second date with this girl, who touched my bicep when I told her I haven't been to the gym since a long time. She asked me to flex it, I did, and it remained the same size. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were laying in bed. She rolled over and began rubbing my chest. She then said, "Wow babe those are a solid B-cup." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
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Top comments
Bloink 25
I've got to hand it to her, that was kind of funny.
bobo_the_bear 5
Ouch. However big hands can be an asset in the bedroom if you use them right.
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Comments (120)
AdamUSN 10
That's when you say "you're right, smaller hands mean bigger penises"
Welshite 40
But both he and his girlfriend recognize that he has large hands. Your comment is just another blow to his ego.
AdamUSN 10
I misread the original post, not gonna lie. I thought it said small hands mean small dicks but I mean small hands meant big dicks. My bad OP
xnighthawkx 1
What a bitch.
thatsdndn1 19
Its not about the size, its about the effect;p
OysterPearls 33
It's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean, OP.
JAKASS200 5
It's not about the twig, it's about the swig
silvercamaro 22
I got a good chuckle for the first two replies, but then came #32
tj4234 36
It's not the size of the army, it's the strength of the attack.
ace_arnie 7
A little row boat isn't gunna be making much motion compared to a yacht....
zBLAKEz 23
I don't get why everyone is down voting #2, that was a really rude thing to say. I bet people would be reacting differently if the roles were reversed and it was a guy talking about how his girlfriend had small breasts. Then everyone would probably be saying he's a horrible person and she should leave him. Double standards are great.
parism143 28
Then again, 53, it's not a huge thing to get upset over. It's just a part of your body that you can't really change without a little help from plastic surgery. And I'm sure she was just teasing, if it was so big of a deal to her why hasn't she left him yet?
thesinginguy 18
I'm just wondering where the **** #1 is.
zBLAKEz 23
It's because people make it seem like a big deal. Girls constantly talk about how big of a deal it is for a guy to be big. Just like how the media glorifies big breasts making them seem absolutely necessary to girls and most likely making girls feel self conscious about the size of their own breasts. There have even been FML's with girls complaining about the size of their boyfriend. And it probably doesn't help that that's a girls go to weapon when she wants to shatter a guy's ego.
dachayke 16
Exactly! Finally someone said it.
dachayke 16
Apparently it is, when a guy makes a comment on breast size.
HanBroman 20
#31 the only people to thumbs up that would have to either have tiny penises or a boyfriend with a tiny penis. which seems to be just about everyone on here. great job being original btw.
kissmeImawkward 17
I'm a girl and I really think that #2 is right.if the size matters so much to her and she makes fun of her bf so easily..she's just a dumb bitch.
BEATLEJUICE98 4
Im guessing #2 must also have big hands
Bloink 25
I've got to hand it to her, that was kind of funny.
thetmills 8
Was that an intentional pun?
laden_swallow09 35
Yes. I do believe it was, 58.
Credibleskills 28
Damn you beat me to it lol
Bloink 25
yes, it was intentional :p
energizerbunny23 18
That's messed up..
toaster123 11
twss
mauwi_10 10
Haha, just hope she doesn't joke about it with her friends
strike2867 13
She does.
bobo_the_bear 5
Ouch. However big hands can be an asset in the bedroom if you use them right.
Trin_Tran 26
This would be a good moment for her to jokingly say "April Fools" to save herself .
8313girl 28
Lol, looks like she left that part out
dakid87 10
That my friend is called "false advertisements" lol. I'm pretty sure she's just playing.
lenalee96 22
Nevermind the fact that it is bigger feet not bigger hands.
Mynamewontfi 40
It's not really a fact.
skipper2009 18
There are no facts when it comes to penis size and the size of any other body part.
DanielleinDC 34
And I assure you that having big feet does not mean big penis size either.
cryssycakesx3 23
actually your feet are the length of your forearm
Soloman212 28
I don't know what kind of crazy lanky feet or stubby arms you have, but mine are around half that..
little_one 20
@73 from inside elbow to wrist my foot is the same size! Wonder if everyone is like that.
mikbrooke 25
#88 its actually a known thing that unless your body isnt proportioned right, your feet will be the length of your forearm.
Yeshua_fml 19
#88 I tested it out and they're right. The length of your foot is equivalent to the lenth of your forearm. However, that doesn't take away from how funny your response was.
gracehi 33
Perhaps you should make better use of your larger assets, if you know what I mean. ;)