Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
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Top comments
thomcmoore 23
Yeah...FYL brother
1tsmenoah 20
You dodged a bullet there, you'll find someone who cares only for who you are.
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Comments (199)
thomcmoore 23
Yeah...FYL brother
PIGaming 21
I dont know enough about the situation, but maybe she wasnt ready for sex yet, and panicked.
thomcmoore 23
But she pushed him on the bed and pulled off his clothes. Sounds like experience to me.
AFCCT 7
Sounds like he had some nasty odor coming from down under. You don't make that face for no reason.
Kuro_Kamen 12
That's the only thing I can think of too. Unless she's shallow enough to run from someone unshaven.
hannahkat_13 6
#35 He was losing HIS virginity, not the other way around.
sig4life 18
She was wondering what she could do with that, and the response was just a little bit off. FYL
thomcmoore 23
No shit, #76. SHE'S the one with experience. Read #26.
liindsey 25
Unfortunately it could also be if he's cut or uncut. I've met and read about many girls who won't sleep with a guy whose one way or another. I'm any case, sorry OP. at least you didn't lose it to someone who doesn't care.
nurchok 15
Sorry to hear that OP. You'll find someone worthy of your virginity. #1, Amen to that. #26, maybe she's just a **** who wanted/expected/is used to a big(ger) dick...
1tsmenoah 20
You dodged a bullet there, you'll find someone who cares only for who you are.
XxDevilxXGt 26
Or the girlfriend dodged a bullet? Then again, if she cared she might have told OP to do something about the mess, if that was the issue.
cheshireau 26
Well I'm guessing it was a smell or the size. She dodged a bullet
noobienick 19
Forget to shave?
TheDrifter 23
Going by her reaction possibly forgot to wash.
saba_ajira 29
Most likely...
chabelo 10
a) forget to shave b) forget to wash c) it was too small d) uncircumcised ..or d) all of the above
euphoricness 28
Or it was so massive that she got scared and ran away before that massive thing would suffocate her and have her end up searching for the key of recovery from Frodo. Just a thought
WarriorBl00d 9
Creative!
Sassie8810 9
I'm not really sure why uncircumcised would be a turn off. The more natural, the better. But please DO wash.
loooloool 13
I don't think she would want to **** a turtle dick :l
zBLAKEz 23
It's a gross flap of skin covering your penis. I don't care how natural it is, it's nasty. Pubic hair is also natural but every guy I've met prefers a girl to be shaved and some girls prefer guys to be shaved or trimmed. Natural isn't always the best/preferred when it comes to your body.
blancoing 14
what exactly is wrong with being uncircumcised?
Foxfire15 15
Real men don't shave. We do wash though, and groom
Mauskau 35
Honestly I couldn't care if a guy was circumcised or not, as long as it does the job well I'm not going to complain. It's not like penises and vaginas are attractive things to look at.
knoxxx 22
Fun fact: uncircumcised penises actually provide a smoother "transition" into the ****** during sex, so sex is typically considered more pleasurable and/or less uncomfortable with uncircumcised penises.
squideth 18
If you can't handle a natural penis without throwing a hissy fit about it being "gross", you're not mature enough for sex.
jazzy_123 20
70, I don't know what guys you hang out with or what guys you've been involved with, but I know plenty of guys who say they don't care if it's shaved or not as long as it's clean, and same with the women I know.
smokecloud_ 37
I've had both. Not really much difference sex-wise. I actually didn't notice my first uncirc'd until like the fourth time. (he was always out of his shell by the time i got to him;) If anything it gave an extra "sensation" so to speak. And men should be groomed but not bald. (disclaimer: my opinion, others may vary in their preference). I don't even like my twat bald.. I trim. :D Less discomfort afterwards.
SweetasCandy0609 28
#36 much like your comment.
SweetasCandy0609 28
#36 much like your comment.
Fou_Lou 20
Circumcised penises have a disadvantage that is not really there when you're young. Its usually so that the penis gets less and less sensitive over the years. Which can makes sex very uncomfortable for both sides when you get older. I personally consider Circumcision as child abuse. And i think not many of the men circumcised today would choose it of their own will when they're 18 or older. Nothing against that though.
JeWbOy101 11
What about the cleanliness issue. It tends to be easier to clean properly cut and can't ever need one later in life due to medical issues
yerawizardlizzy 27
OP lives in the US, where circumcision is pretty much the norm. If OP is in fact uncircumcised, I can see where that might freak her out if she has never seen an uncircumcised penis. I've not seen one in person myself, but I've seen images. It took me a while to get over the initial weirdness, because like I said, here in the US circumcision is the norm and that's what we are used to. Just my two cents.
zenerize 5
Lol nasty dick
Coeliacchic93 21
the only time I think being circumcised is okay is if it's for medical reasons. I know someone who was circ'd when they were around 2 because there was a problem with it. And he still remembers the pain. I don't get why people would react so badly to either circ or not.
Tomcuro 11
There's almost a stigma to actually being stigmatised in the UK and as young kids it would actually be an insult! The vast majority (Non-Jews and those without medical disorders) are uncircumcised in the UK.
littlelunatic95 3
do people really care if someone is or isn't circumcised :o?
Revan501 15
Ouch man thats got hurt your manhood.
zBLAKEz 23
It might've just been that it smelled really bad.
clemsi 20
I just want to know why Odin had to be cursed.
wGx14 12
Vienne Weenie?
syki 22
I really don't understand your name, OP. :P All right, to be more helpful, perhaps it's not size. Does your one-eyed willy have a party hat or not?
syki 22
Holy shit, that was funnier in my head. Only the other hand, I think I may have worked out the correlation between Odin and cocks.
Ali_Br_fml 33
Ok, I'm a little slow...could you enlighten me please? I don't see the correlation between the two. I know of Odin from the comics, from Greek mythology, and the application used to root android devices...but I haven't found anything that would show a correlation between those two things.
Rosebudx 32
If you know of Odin from Greek mythology, then you know something that no one else knows about Greek mythology. Norse mythology, on the other hand...
syki 22
One-eyed Willy=One-eyed Odin
laden_swallow09 34
Ehh, still took a minute to figure out. By then, it lost its humor.
ExastirisDragon 22
Heh. Greek mythology.
Ali_Br_fml 33
I was using Google on my phone to find out about all of those things since I only knew about the application to root devices before seeing this comment and OP's username. I seem to have copied that part down wrong, I should've said the God of Germanic mythology or Norse Mythology. I'm going to read up on that and one eyed Willy to get this joke, because this went way over my head.
Ali_Br_fml 33
Ok, thanks guys, I think I FINALLY figured it out. (better late than never)
KissMyAnthia200 12
Odin is the missile system in CoD:Ghosts.Or it something else that I've never heard of.
DatPiggahDoe 10
You need to pick up a book. Here, borrow my library card.
XSeraphinX 18
Maybe it was too big for her.
TheDrifter 23
You're so big she just want brave enough to take you on. Yeah, that's it. Go with that.
Soloman212 28
Ever the optimist.
worldclassrager 39
She may not want to talk about it but it would be a good idea to mention what the problem was...
WarriorBl00d 9
That sucks .. This has happened to me OP, feel better