Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML
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Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML
Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML
Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML
Today, I caught my mom using my toothbrush and washcloth again, despite her having both her own bathroom and supplies. I asked her to please not use mine, to which she called me an ungrateful bitch. My dad agreed. Yet they wonder why I've been desperately saving money to move out. FML
Today, as always, my mom loudly asked me if I'd brushed my teeth, then replied to my yes with, “I don’t believe you.” All because I forgot to brush my teeth once when I was 5. I’m 17 now. FML
Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML
Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML
Today, my mom realized we have been sharing tooth brushes because they are similar colors. I told her it doesn't really matter since we're mother and daughter. She responded by saying that she loves me, but she has no idea where my mouth has been, and she doesn't want my diseases. Thanks mom. FML
Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML
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Top comments
jonahwalzer 12
I would not touch the other one if i were you....
Broadway_Vayne 32
Good luck getting that picture out of your head! I'd be scarred for life if I had that happen to me...
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Comments (102)
jonahwalzer 12
I would not touch the other one if i were you....
VampOfSavannah 31
What reason would one have to touch another's toothbrush in the first place?
JMichael 25
For when OP's mom makes him/her scrub the toilet with a toothbrush. You never use your own toothbrush.
jamaicanme 3
The other question is...why she would keep that same toothbrush next to the one she uses manually?! Or why is it in the bathroom in the first place and not her nightstand? *Shudders*
Broadway_Vayne 32
Good luck getting that picture out of your head! I'd be scarred for life if I had that happen to me...
tanekdrachonae 19
*Brain bleach spill on aisle 4*
dstamm2 10
YDI for asking that question
junkman6 22
Curiosity, it will leave you scarred for life.
Sports_guy3 28
Curiosity got the best of you didn't It, OP?
JennaNGood 21
Well honestly, deducing that would not have been hard so why did OP ask?
SystemofaBlink41 27
Uh, I dunno about you, but when I see a toothbrush I automatically assume it's for, you know... brushing teeth.
SThompson90 7
That and no one wants to think that their mom masturbates or ever have but they do. So yes FML fans, all your moms **********... your dads too. Have fun with that
Madridsta1999 7
How about you get both of them, duct tape then together, and offer it to her as a gift. Just tell her its for practice for later on.
SgtAssCheeks 21
That's... not even remotely funny in any way.
x_the_lancer_x 13
Hmmm. I smell a sixth grade age person attempting to fit in although they have no idea what they are talking about. Those are just my thoughts on this. I should probably get going about now before "someone" rages... "I'm nawt 11!! :("
noobienick 19
Sixth grade age?
saocrates 16
That's odd, you would think an actual toy would be better then a tooth brush.....
Epikouros 31
Most sex toys have less power than an electric toothbrush. Except the magic wand type, but those weren't designed as sex toys either. There are special attachments available that are easier on a clit than brushes. Remember that for Mother's Day!
Hiimhaileypotter 52
#13, do you test different types of sex toys in your free time? (Yes, I'm aware that your profile says you're a man.)
ThatPlankton 15
Why would anyone want to remember that for Mother's Day?
tanekdrachonae 19
32, in the hopes of her removing the toothbrush, after receiving an actual toy I assume. 13, I worked for an adult shop for a pretty long time. You'd be surprised what you learn.
tanekdrachonae 19
Sorry didn't mean 13, was directing that part at 25.
ThatPlankton 15
Yes 38 I understood that part, but what guy out there would buy a toy for their own Mom? That doesn't seem like a normal kind of bonding.
tanekdrachonae 19
Mom letting you in on her toothbrush secret isn't "normal" mom etiquette.
valalvax 13
Geez, the one we got is almost too much vibration in fact to me it is, damn thing vibrates so hard I can only use it on her a little bit before I have to take a break because my hand hurts from the vibration..
Manniie_ 20
Well, wthere is a question you regret asking...
PancakeSlap 23
I'm pretty sure that's not what most dentists recommend it for.
Voij 16
I actually own 2 aswell... originally got an electric one, then bought a manual one for when I'm on a trip/on vacation. Now I just use the manual one because the electric one is annoyingly noisy and I'm too lazy to buy a quieter one.
Epikouros 31
I've got both, too. I only use the manual toothbrush for quickies.
Sports_guy3 28
TMI, that was not needed.
XxXCrissyXxX 12
I don't see why one would assume the mom uses it for that, i mean toothbrushes are good for cleaning jewelery, or for small spaces where dirt can get stuck. I thought the answer was pretty normal and more innocent.
Ali_Br_fml 33
Oh darn, does that mean I should get rid of my second electric tooth brush? I use the old one when I'm sick, and the other when I'm not so I don't pass on the bug to myself later. (I do clean it before and after each use, but just out of laziness, I use two instead of replacing the toothbrush heads) Ugh, that explains my cousin's comment...He can be blunt sometimes.
NotAnAvidGolfer 4
#60 I'm fairly sure you can't get sick from your own germs.
DavidKnows 11
#74 yes, you CAN get infected by your own germs
iiMichy 19
But you can't get the same virus twice.. your body becomes immune to that virus once it gets rid of it. So you wouldn't get sick from your own toothbrush..
valalvax 13
But viruses can evolve, hence why some family's go in a circle reinfecting each other
ibanghellokitty 8
She should just hide it in her room and not in the open like that, what if someone uses it.... (.• A •;)
ktiskool 18
Maybe she uses it to clean? Or "clean?"
deathstroke990 22
no
Mynamewontfi 40
I'm just hoping she meant something else than using it as a toy(those would probably work better anyway), but I highly doubt it.