Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML
Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML
Today, I left the house to get groceries. My parents asked me where I was going and how long I would be gone for. Thinking they were just being inquisitive parents, I ignored them. I got home 20 minutes later to them having sex. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML
Today, I was very sick, and my boyfriend was taking care of me at his parents' house. I was laying on the couch, innocently watching a movie while he rubbed my feet, when his stepmother came home from work. She freaked out, accused us of having it off on her couch, and kicked me out. FML
Today, my parents started fighting at a restaurant. Embarrassed, I went to the restroom to get away and stayed in there for about 15 minutes, knowing how long their fights can last. When I came back, they were gone. They'd ditched me, and left me to walk several miles back home. FML
Today, I’ve had to listen to my parents discovering that they were both cheating on each other. As I left, they were screaming at each other. When I got home, not only had they calmed down, they were openly discussing whether their other partners might be interested in foursomes or swinging. Ew. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
silverhuntress 4
WTF!!!!! Wow... I'm so sorry that you had to see that...
turtlemanz 8
You decided to swing by at the wrong moment
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (165)
silverhuntress 4
WTF!!!!! Wow... I'm so sorry that you had to see that...
mohamed_H 21
Meow ;) why didn't you join? I always join cat orgys, they are fun as hell!
A07 48
This is one fml i'll check daily for a follow up!
Awesome58422599 19
I agree, but seriously, I would high-five your parents :)
8313girl 28
That is the wildest story I've heard in a long time. OP has some middle aged kink freaks for parents. I also agree they should have hosted that buck wild orgy at a place that their kid would never see. Now I'm wondering why the gave him only $20 instead of $100 so he could do more stuff. Hell, I spent $20 while writing this comment.
kangx1 28
This is the kind of shit that needs a follow up!
Bigfabthetruth52 22
That is some weird Shit man.i would bring that up everytime they tried to give me unwarranted grief about my friends.
dcea 17
are you one of his parents?
airforce987 20
Yeah, I wouldn't blame you if you gauged your eyes out
Paco_el_Taco 17
Its a little too late for that. Unless they can gouge their memory out
StiffPvtParts 43
No one should ever have to witness such a thing (._.)
CupcakeJuice 10
That sure took a swing on the awkward side. Anybody? No? Sorry I'll leave.
skrai9898 8
Please do.
SgtAssCheeks 21
You tried. You failed. An honorable action to remove yourself from the premises. Come back when you'll feel better.
Futacy 29
Boooo!!!
barleyguy 17
Haha!! Well I thought it was funny
TheLynx_fml 20
Lol
turtlemanz 8
You decided to swing by at the wrong moment
misUnderstood23 9
True OP. I wouldn't have even went back. I'd be glad to be kicked out, be at a friends or bfs and not even want to go home. You went to the movies by yourself? That sucks!
Ch_rae5 19
Oh cause that's definitely the thing that sucks here. Going to a movie alone..*Gasp!
Rizzen 27
well hopefully you can stay with a friend, but FYL indeed.
RedPillSucks 31
I don't think OP was permanently kicked out, just long enough for the party. He can return home, but may never be able to look his parents in the eye again.
moimoimoi125_fml 11
Hence the idea of staying at a friend's
LittleBastard 20
Unless OP has no friends..
XSeraphinX 18
There is not enough brain bleach to erase that. FYL OP but at least they are not serial killers.
laden_swallow09 34
Where the hell did the idea that his parents may be serial killers come from??
SpicyDuck 22
I think 7 was trying to make a poor connection to two very different things...
therobotchef 6
I would rather my parents be serial killers than walking in on them swinging.
friedpwnadge 25
That took some balls for them to do that.
HKCgrimmjow 15
And penis... And ******... You do understand sex right?
Llama_Face89 33
And several other sets of things previously mentioned.
bernardbrown 7
May God help you in your quest for brain bleach.
Paco_el_Taco 17
Swingers who are parents really should invest in a hotel room for these types of activities. Its cheaper than paying for psychological counseling for your kid for the next three years.
ladyfingers 11
I agree. This kind of makes me think that this was the first "event" the parents had participated in.
Zebediabolical 43
I'm pretty sure that if this were the first event they were involved in they wouldn't be hosting it. It might be the first one they've hosted however. Or just the first time OP went to a short movie.
chris4u2nv5 19
Ok, I'm speechless.
ChenEighty 20
Then don't comment.
Futacy 29
^ Words: you took 'em right outta my mouth.
that_band_nerd 22
But you type them so how'd he do that? Unless you type with your tongue in which case I'll just be going...