Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
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Top comments
Pwn17 25
You're tearing him apart, Lisa!
ischneid101 4
"Oh hi mark!"
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Comments (61)
dmmrekcd 10
Fun..,
SimplyBird 9
#1 that was probably the best and most creative first comment I have ever read. *slow clap*
Pwn17 25
You're tearing him apart, Lisa!
jw90 18
Haha I haven't seen that movie in forever. But I'm sorry he's not responding that well to your attempts OP. Maybe Breaking Bad is too important to him.
OnlyAvailableID 28
I don't understand. I did naht hit her, I did naht. Oh hi Mark!
SomeRandomGuy15 18
4- That's me!
Cocoapelli 23
Maybe if you throw a football around as you walk between scenes you'll get his attention? But don't try and do it sexily - aim more for pointlessly.
annie_nk 22
9 - Perfect portrayal of Wiseau's accent, which I believe is still unique to him lol.
ischneid101 4
"Oh hi mark!"
joawmeens 7
"Oh hey Denny!"
ischneid101 4
Denny's a creepy bastard...
mFUNdo21 17
these FML boyfriends are super trolls xD
julianna5782 12
we're talking about aids, we're talking about lesions!
Ms_ValS 27
Some guys really have a way of saying stupid things...
ItsAUnicorn 27
I guess he wasn't as into it as you thought he was..
pistachiopanda 19
I suggest more cleavage in the future. 60 percent of the time, it works every time.
nnnope 26
I'm not gonna lie, that smells like pure gasoline.
joawmeens 7
HEY!! It's not a "crappy" movie... It's the WORST MOVIE!! And it is AMAZING!! Do you understand life? YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA!! You're my favorite customer!
missfryfry 10
Tell him to put his stupid comments in his pocket.
crimsonlover4 31
I'm fed up with this woorlald! And those that didn't get your reference #13
perdix 29
1. Lives with parents 2. Uses stupid quotes in steamy situation. -> Not ready for sex.
Faff 20
with that logic, there would be a lot more virgins in this world
azwethinkweiz87 11
Oh hi! Don't worry about it, that's the idea!