Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
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Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Today, I'm temporarily staying at my parents' place because my mother injured her knee and can't walk, and for the second time, I caught my father walking around with his bare dick. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML
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Top comments
cryptic26 12
That man seriously needs to invest in a lock.
caitylynn05 16
Lol, why did you keep going to see him after the first time??
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Comments (109)
cryptic26 12
That man seriously needs to invest in a lock.
clh3031 6
Or go to a more private place with a door..like his freakin bedroom or a bathroom.
OscarDV 8
Unless he's doing it in the family room, the OP really needs to learn how to knock before entering.
clh3031 6
Yea, I read the fml wrong. Read it as on the way to breakfast. I got to learn how to read and stop adding words
ashesanddust 8
My guess is, it's a ploy to get his son to move out.
ashesanddust 8
*daughter
etoilenuit 15
Well stop interrupting him OP!
Jjimen1654 9
Id say investing in a therapist would be more wise.
judea95 16
Or maybe OP shouldn't walk into his dads fricking room
senseoffender 2
Who said he walked into his room??? Could have been anywhere in the house...
kamikrazy 6
Maybe 4th times the charm?
liblob 6
he really loves that cereal.
thehumanlyhuman 7
This comment thread is going nowhere but down
Axipiter 24
It looks like you were able to get it back up.
tarabara17 15
Do you say hi to all of the little guys who won't be your siblings?
ottokat 15
your icon says it all
audreyfml1994 15
That was uncomfortable to read.
phatdaddy62 23
Twisted yet pretty damn funny!
caitylynn05 16
Lol, why did you keep going to see him after the first time??
Hiimhaileypotter 52
I don't think OP was going to see him on purpose. Sounds like they (unfortunately) kept walking into whatever room(s?) he dad decided to jack off in.
TheDrifter 23
I'm with #4, leave for a bit and let the poor man finish.
perdix 29
#4, Electra complex ;)
caitylynn05 16
;)
Wizardo 33
If you stop interrupting maybe he can finish off... timing is everything.
DFresh503 8
I hope OP doesn't have the timing that the grandma did from "grandmas boy", and walks in on the dad and get sprayed down
Caitie_kid 8
I thought that he hosed down his friends mom while wanking it to the Laura croft tomb raider figurine, while spending the night at his friends house.
thehumanlyhuman 7
Dinner's gonna be awkward tonight..
GTAmax99 12
Maybe he should just stay in his room and eat…I dunno, beef jerky?
itsbrandoyo 12
...what?
fieldhockeygal97 19
You're going to need a new pair of eyes after seeing that
sasyquin 13
.. do u recommend one where it involves an alien life form living in your body? That would give you silver eyes..
GRgoldfish 19
you need to learn how to knock first.
magiczebra 9
OP didn't say what room his dad was in. His dad could've been nasty and decided to jack off in the living room.
alex_gen 39
*her
Pussycat86 18
The reason there is a 3rd time is because you didn't let him finish the first time! Loool, give him some time alone
olpally 32
That's just, horrifying... He needs to get laid and badly. Lol.