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Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

#18674853
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24794) - you deserved it (7337)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Grandson's life also sucks
Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station…

mark also deserved it
Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She…

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I see you fapping to cartoon porn in the future!

#2 - On 01/01/2012 at 6:43pm by iFizzgig

See in context

+251 | 11

You may be past the point of ever getting laid. . . for free. You'd be surprised what enough cash could do. I'd bet that for a big enough stack of loonies, you can find a blue-haired whore who will scream and moan like Marge Simpson for the 30 seconds you last inside her. Just show her the D'oh!

#16 - On 01/01/2012 at 6:52pm by perdix

See in context

+155 | 26

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