Anyone else read this in George Takai's voice.

There is no other way in which to read it.

My my my

*as :P

I take pride in my spelling mistakes >.>

That's a grammar mistake.

He takes pride in both. :P

You're goddamn right I do >.>

you better be self confident

How is that a grammar mistake? He forgot the s in as. That's spelling dear.

I hope it was just obviously sticking out through the fabric rather than exposed. Both are bad but lesser of two evils and all that...

Swimsuits for males are stupidly tiny, so if he's unlucky with an erection that favors going way up, it could have been peeking out. I'd have put my hands over it while going to swim. it would still be obvious as to why he's doing it, but at least he's covering it. Unless he had a micro going on, which wouldn't be an fml. Unless people would be idiotic and think he's masturbating while walking without any motion or contact.

Remember 41, he's doing competitive swimming, he needs to use his hands to swim

OP must have been wearing one of the shorts speedos, not underwear ones because the underwear ones are tight af. Usually, if you warm before swimming, the cold water would prevent an erection.

what does homosexuality have to do with this?

It's a joke, try not to take it too literally, he probably means if it was an all-male swim team

It's one of those jokes where the payoff is so low it tends to go under somebody's head (and miss the rest of their body, too?) rather than over, #9. Another example would be kids hearing "why did the chicken cross the road" for the first time.

The point is it's okay to joke on this stuff, the OP didn't post it because they wanted sympathy, this is satire-based website and it's supposed to make people laugh, if you don't like the joke then just ignore it, but the author of this comment didn't take it to the extreme or offend anyone in any way directly

I don't think anybody is offended. Not finding a joke particularly funny isn't offense.

This is not a situation where he could've put his backpack or a book in front of his crotch. I feel for you, OP, no hiding this one. Speedos are not exactly the most modest of suits anyway; you kind of have no place to hide anything in those!

Having your nipples erect is not in the same vicinity of of having an erection. It's cold, hard nipples literally happen to every swimmer male or female at some point, regularly even. It's a physiological reaction to the cold... Everyone expects it, same thing as goose bumps. There's no reason to be embarrassed about that other insecurity cuz you're in high school and don't know better. Getting an erection may be caused by nothing, but everyone knows it's not just a reaction to the cold and it's pretty damn obvious in a speedo. That being said, I personally wouldn't be embarrassed, it's a natural thing, everyone understands, it just doesn't feel like it at the time.

That's true, I guess I'm probably pretty biased in my opinion, thank you for pointing it out to me :) (no pun intended XD)

When I did competitive swimming in high school it was such a common thing for some of the guys to get a hard on (mostly due to raging hormones and everyone being pretty much half naked the whole time) that no one really noticed or cared. Even at the huge season end swim meet it was normal that at least 5 guys or more got a bone at one point. Honestly unless someone is to blatantly point it out no one really notices (even in a speedo) So OP as embarrassing as it is don't worry to much about it. It's something that just happens and like I said most people aren't paying attention to that area to notice it anyway.

No way. Some girls are VERY embarrassed by nipples pointing out. It is absolutely mortifying for some of us.

I think it isn't as bad as sporting a boner because you can kind of cross your arm over your breasts (nonchalantly), unlike placing your hand over your crotch... I know it is mortifying, but if I was male and I had gotten a boner, then I would be more embarrassed than nipples poking out under the swimsuit :)