Intimacy and Health: You want a piece of me? - FML

You want a piece of me?

By littlepeepboo - 30/01/2018 01:30

Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 111

You deserved it 440

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

My chocolate

By oops - 31/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 1 784

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 300

You deserved it 5 107

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 20:14 - United States - Columbia City

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 433

You deserved it 9 321

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 17:15 - Estonia

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 577

You deserved it 10 475

By bitten - 15/05/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 076

You deserved it 2 787

By coop42 - 15/01/2014 19:22 - United States - Hortonville

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 104

You deserved it 6 076

By kaylashay2k13 - 17/05/2016 14:18 - United States - Mission

Today, my boyfriend was trying to tackle me to the bed when we heard a loud pop. The pop turned out to be him breaking my pinky finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 030

You deserved it 1 102

By jacobscrackers - 01/08/2010 18:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 909

You deserved it 5 873

Thirst trap

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 07:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the couch. I got thirsty, so I got up and grabbed a metal water bottle and drank out of it. He tried to playfully touch it and spill water on me, but instead hit it hard enough to where it slammed my mouth, chipped my tooth, and cut open my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 909

You deserved it 4 262

By buttpain - 01/12/2016 18:29

Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 607

You deserved it 841

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 30 January 2018 1:39

You said “Eat me” and he took you literally?

Mega Firebeast 8

Tuesday 30 January 2018 2:43

what the ****

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 30 January 2018 1:39

You said “Eat me” and he took you literally?

Mega Firebeast 8

Tuesday 30 January 2018 2:43

what the ****

Glowworm56 26

Tuesday 30 January 2018 3:11

The emergency room must have has a field day with this one!

crims0nangel 16

Tuesday 30 January 2018 14:00

On this episode of Sex Sent Me to the ER...

leeloo7 22

Tuesday 30 January 2018 3:52

Awch!!! wtf

boopingsnoot 24

Tuesday 30 January 2018 4:55

At least it wasn't your labia

carlosATX 8

Tuesday 30 January 2018 8:16

Is your boyfriend a shark?

Lobby_Bee 17

Tuesday 30 January 2018 9:37

I love it when women smell so delicious I cannot help myself but to take a bite.

dwight7476 11

Tuesday 30 January 2018 20:09

He needs to take his time haste make waste

pjsr 32

Tuesday 30 January 2018 20:17

Or lunch

5th_point_of_contact 8

Wednesday 31 January 2018 5:32

Just curious. Does this guy have a large tag on him somewhere? Something that could look like a beacon? Possibly for tracking predators like um I dunno a shark?

DanielleinDC 33

Wednesday 31 January 2018 20:42

How sharp are his teeth that he could do that? Ouch!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely shows me any affection. He vehemently said, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything! Chill!” and stormed out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 116

Today, it's been a week since my mother died. She had no life insurance and was over $20,000 in debt, plus her hospital/funeral bills. My father wants nothing to do with me as she was a one night stand and he never paid child support. I'm behind on rent and bills because I'm injured from work. Thanks for nothing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 142

The Top

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 425

You deserved it 65 007

Today, I found out my dad has been using the flip-flops I wear in the shower. The reason I wear them is to prevent myself from getting his nasty foot fungus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 882

You deserved it 1 673

Today, my 81-year-old mother threw out the packaging for a 3-day-old $1,700 monitor I was going to return due to a defect. I live in my own home, but she randomly visits to "clean up" without asking me. Now I'm stuck with an expensive, defective monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 605

You deserved it 671

Today, my mother gave me a dress she'd made for herself at twenty five. I’m seventeen. It fits around the stomach but is gappy all around my butt and boobs. Thank you for reinforcing my theory that I’m somehow both flat and fat at the same time, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 225

Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm and cause cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 019

You deserved it 5 061

Today, my grandmother yet again asked where my grandfather is. She refuses to believe us when we tell her that he passed away 6 years ago. She always insists that he's out cheating on her and accuses us of lying to cover his arse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 397

You deserved it 1 553