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FML : Today, my grandmother yet again asked where my grandfather is. She refuses to believe us when we tell her that he passed away 6 years ago. She always insists...
65
By Anonymous - / Sunday 31 January 2016 12:11 / United Kingdom
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Maybe it's her minds way of coping. Either way it's hurtful. It still really sucks especially for your family. I hope one day she can make peace with it.

That's really rough. As bad as it is for you, imagine how confusing and upsetting life must be for her. Compassion and understanding goes a long way with memory issues or dementia. Sorry OP, seeing family like that is never easy.

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She may not have dementia. This could just be a tragic way she uses to cope. It's very unfortunate but I wouldn't jump to conclusions.

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Her husband has been dead 6 years. That's a lot of time to "cope" by refusing to believe he's dead. Unless she had recent head trauma, it's probably dementia.

Reply

I actually have that suspicion also, 5. I mean, not necessarily that he cheated on her throughout their whole marriage, but perhaps just once or twice was enough to make that impression. It's a tragic ordeal in any case.

Reply

Not necessarily. One of the side effects of dementia is increasing paranoia. At the end of her life, my great grandmother was constantly accusing her neighbours of stealing behind her. It was sad, as they were nice people who had always helped her when she was still well.

Reply

it actually doesn't suck. my grandmother had dementia when she passed. I'd give a million dollars to have 5 minutes with her and repeat myself 100 times

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Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

This might sound a bit harsh but hear me out; maybe frame a picture of his grave/funeral service in her house to remind her of what has passed. Dementia/Alzheimers isn't easy to deal with for anyone, but maybe she needs something tangible to recognize the reality of things.

Reply

Doesn't always work. My Nan had Dementia before she passed and no matter the photos or the stories we told even really registered. It's a horrible, heart breaking condition.

I work with patients suffering from dementia and Alzheimer's. It is tough especially when they miss their loved ones that are dead. All you can do is keep reassuring her that he's not cheating and he loves her so much, wherever he his.

I'm sorry to hear that op. My grandma had really advanced alzheimer's before she passed. So much that she didn't know who I was. I know how hard it can be on a family. Stay strong.

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