Transportation: Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather...

By saltynutz20 - 07/04/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 716

You deserved it 8 046

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Same thing different taste

By SexyPlayer9 - 24/07/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was on a flight and one of my friends was sitting next to this woman who happened to be sleeping with her mouth wide open. My friend decided to take a picture. While I was editing it, a man sitting behind us said "If you want to take a picture of my girlfriend, wait until she's awake". FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 507

You deserved it 66 265

By ifmlftw - 22/06/2011 04:03 - United States

Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 086

You deserved it 3 058

By Ashleigh - 22/04/2011 18:43 - United States

Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 722

You deserved it 3 484

By PlaneGuy - 25/02/2017 01:00 - Reunion - Saint-denis

Today, I was on a plane and a cute girl was getting ready to sit down beside me, but upon making eye contact, she asked to switch seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 208

You deserved it 731

By babymine - 09/03/2012 04:45 - United States

Today, I was boarding a plane and a woman's bag started to fall. In the spur of the moment I thrust my arm up to catch it. I didn't catch the bag, but I did catch her boob. I had to sit next to her for the rest of the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 051

You deserved it 2 955

Salivating

By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 06:08 - United States

Today, I flew into Denver. Never having been here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 625

You deserved it 29 502

By Anonymous - 22/07/2016 04:14 - United States - Missoula

Today, I was on a plane flying home and fell asleep. I woke up to my own snoring and everyone on the plane looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 081

You deserved it 1 880

By legitweirdo - 08/01/2013 04:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 848

You deserved it 2 700

Unflattered

By lindsay - 28/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 146

By apparentlyawomanbeater - 20/04/2012 21:48 - Switzerland - Cadempino

Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 021

You deserved it 3 101

gfindians11 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:51

why was it even a struggle?

blackdude_fml 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:54

Hey its ok to ********** on a plane. never let that opportunity pass you by.

Comments

mpw167 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:51

Did you give her a nice present?

A_50cal_goes 0

Friday 3 September 2010 5:36

BOOM Headshot!!!

gfindians11 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:51

why was it even a struggle?

oroxsnyder 8

Wednesday 15 April 2015 5:55

sometimes they get stuck if its a crappy pair of pants

Aera_fml 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:52

At least she didn't accidentally fall into your lap while asleep, right?

hiandbye 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:53

Hope that sparked an interesting conversation! and big enough to cause a struggle? ;)

2PMbaby 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:54

i would have asked for help.

blackdude_fml 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:54

Hey its ok to ********** on a plane. never let that opportunity pass you by.

Somber_fml 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:54

What #2 said. That's pretty funny though. I bet she looked at you like "wtf".

herpEs_fml 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:58

at least it wasn't you waking up to her zipping up your fly.

Draeven_fml 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 14:09

that wouldnt b a fml

kapippenger 0

Friday 6 May 2011 3:39

^for real

ck12 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:58

The fact that you call her a lady makes me question her attractiveness

puffingdragons 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 0:00

You should have said, don't worry there's nothing there.

Keywords

Music Boredom Transportation Annoying Embarrassing Awkward Cars Family Babysitter Relatable Kids Thief Money Miscellaneous Food Farts Gross Health Depression Mental health Weird Creepy AITA Pregnancy Star Wars Social Media Facebook Wanker Work Bodyshaming

The Top

Today, I found out I have syphilis. I only slept with one person in my entire life, my boyfriend of 2 years. When I told him about it, he burst into tears and said, "It was one time at a company party" and "Maybe if you put some Vagisil or something, it will go away." Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 918

You deserved it 137

Today, my family keeps pestering me about whether I've contacted my father yet. My father, the one who treated me and my family like crap throughout my upbringing and cheated on my mom a few years ago. I don't know why they think I'd ever want to see him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 69

The Top

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 954

You deserved it 3 070

Today, I had an excellent conversation with this guy I met on a gay dating site. We really hit it off well and had a lot in common. We got to the point where he asked me for my picture. I showed it to him and he stopped responding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 560

You deserved it 15 894

Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 572

You deserved it 2 095

Today, my boss threw a party for everyone in the office who has a birthday in September. Everyone got a cake with their names on it except me. My birthday is today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 091

You deserved it 838

Today, I was driving down a completely empty street when a cop pulled me over for no reason at all. When he approached my window, I began to get defensive until he informed me I was driving the wrong way down a one way street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 258

You deserved it 24 734

Today, my girlfriend revealed she'd had an abortion. I wasn’t even aware she’d been pregnant, and she admitted it’s because my grandad and two of my siblings have autism, and she didn’t want to risk having an autistic child and dealing with the shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 203

Same thing different taste

Salivating

Unflattered

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