Transportation: Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather...

By saltynutz20 - 07/04/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 716

You deserved it 8 046

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By SexyPlayer9 - 24/07/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was on a flight and one of my friends was sitting next to this woman who happened to be sleeping with her mouth wide open. My friend decided to take a picture. While I was editing it, a man sitting behind us said "If you want to take a picture of my girlfriend, wait until she's awake". FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 507

You deserved it 66 270

By ifmlftw - 22/06/2011 04:03 - United States

Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 087

You deserved it 3 058

By Ashleigh - 22/04/2011 18:43 - United States

Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 723

You deserved it 3 485

By PlaneGuy - 25/02/2017 01:00 - Reunion - Saint-denis

Today, I was on a plane and a cute girl was getting ready to sit down beside me, but upon making eye contact, she asked to switch seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 208

You deserved it 732

By babymine - 09/03/2012 04:45 - United States

Today, I was boarding a plane and a woman's bag started to fall. In the spur of the moment I thrust my arm up to catch it. I didn't catch the bag, but I did catch her boob. I had to sit next to her for the rest of the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 052

You deserved it 2 955

Salivating

By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 06:08 - United States

Today, I flew into Denver. Never having been here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 625

You deserved it 29 503

By Anonymous - 22/07/2016 04:14 - United States - Missoula

Today, I was on a plane flying home and fell asleep. I woke up to my own snoring and everyone on the plane looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 081

You deserved it 1 880

By legitweirdo - 08/01/2013 04:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 848

You deserved it 2 700

Unflattered

By lindsay - 28/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 146

By apparentlyawomanbeater - 20/04/2012 21:48 - Switzerland - Cadempino

Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 021

You deserved it 3 101

gfindians11 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:51

why was it even a struggle?

blackdude_fml 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 23:54

Hey its ok to ********** on a plane. never let that opportunity pass you by.

Comments

dramagal16 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 2:51

Does it really take 40 minutes to get from Chicago to Minneapolis by plane?

andy_fml_fml 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 3:10

"now that's hawt" paris hilton pg.4089372987 :) if i was the girl i would've been like oh hello sexy beast :D

ropeandneck 7

Thursday 9 May 2013 23:40

kwack

teamhat 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 3:23

i agree with #2

thatoneguy1812 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 3:38

@ #2... maybe he was "distracted."

Baby_girl04 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 3:42

handjob!

shehzeenahmed 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 3:48

Have you ever popped champagne on a plane while gettin' some brain Whipped it out she said I never seen Snakes On A Plane --Good Life - Kanye West

Baby_girl04 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 3:49

handjob

free_Aus 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 3:57

So did you fap?

SpunkT 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 4:02

#42, he didn't say that it took 40 minutes to get there, this just happened 40 minutes into the flight. Meaning he probably had to sit next to her until they got there.

onetuffbitch 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 4:56

Hmm...Ladies and Gentlemen...Welcome aboard your flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. Please make sure that all carry on items are stowed either in an overhead compartment or completely in your pants? The Captain has just turned off the unzip your pants sign and your penis may walk freely through the cabin... Flight attendants will start serving drinks and nuts ;-) shortly. They should amend these for you!