Health: Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt...

By Anon - 11/09/2016 07:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 191

You deserved it 1 697

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By sadddddd - 11/09/2011 01:54 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 873

You deserved it 3 266

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 3 699

Not now, Kelsey

By Amy - 01/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 707

You deserved it 7 253

Let it all out

By Vomitron - 02/04/2021 00:30

Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 99

By Redhairchick - 06/11/2016 07:08

Today, I got severe diarrhea while out dancing with friends. On my way home, I got hit with the urge again. I couldn't find an open toilet and I had to resort to relieving myself in an alley. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 054

You deserved it 928

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 434

You deserved it 11 645

Gushing

By Anonymous - 15/11/2009 15:45 - United States

Today, I wasn't feeling too well. I decided to bring my laptop with me to the bathroom, because I figured I would be in there for a while. Things were going great, until I felt a burp coming. Next thing I know, my computer is covered with puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 290

You deserved it 38 654

Drugs are bad, mkay ?

By theshitguy - 15/06/2021 08:01 - Australia - Kedron

Today, I was at a party. A friend and I went to the bathroom together. She finished, I started to go, realising I need to shit. She was still in the room. People began to knock. My brain told me to snap the shit in half… with my hand. I grabbed the toilet paper with said hand, leaving the bathroom covered in shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 1 162

Hot lava from both ends

By SickBoi - 30/03/2021 14:01 - United States - Cambridge

Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 92

By Med - 13/11/2012 12:02 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 778

You deserved it 2 972

r83839 22

Monday 12 September 2016 9:23

You need to learn to stand your ground instead of giving into peer pressure.

MandyO 15

Monday 12 September 2016 9:24

Your friends owe you a drink...of Pepto-Bismol and Imodium.

Comments

r83839 22

Monday 12 September 2016 9:23

You need to learn to stand your ground instead of giving into peer pressure.

MandyO 15

Monday 12 September 2016 9:24

Your friends owe you a drink...of Pepto-Bismol and Imodium.

poopehdoo 9

Monday 12 September 2016 23:02

Just wondering - are people aware that immodium just blocks your bowel? Good for when you absolutely cannot reschedule something, but terrible in the long and short run. Your body is trying to get rid of toxic stuff and you're just keeping it in.

klutzyduck1 24

Monday 12 September 2016 9:31

That's terrible, I've always been scared to have that happen in a public restroom (for many reasons). Especially a night club bathroom...ick. I'm sure choosing which to use the toilet for, was a difficult choice. Like the earlier commenter said about withstanding peer pressure, this situation may be a really good motivator for you to trust your own judgement in the future. It's hard when you feel like you are letting others down, but real friends would have been more concerned about how you were feeling, rather than pestering you to got to a club for their own entertainment. Silver lining: the club is mostly filled with strangers, so no one really knows who you are, which might lessen the embarrassment.

hkhan24 23

Monday 12 September 2016 9:39

Your friends are idiots for dragging you but if I felt that bad I would have flat out refused no matter what.

girlvsocean 2

Monday 12 September 2016 21:32

And he was an idiot for going out.

lexiieeex3 32

Monday 12 September 2016 10:09

None of your friends felt awful enough for dragging you there, where you were clearly ill, to drive you home?

nonsensical 26

Monday 12 September 2016 13:20

Maybe they did but they had to wait til OP took a break from exploding out of both ends...

species4872 19

Monday 12 September 2016 11:17

Self inflicted I'm afraid, next time listen to your body

InfiniteSunshine 32

Monday 12 September 2016 11:22

A crowded place with loud music, drugs, and drinking, your friends thought this would be a good place to drag a sick person? Cause alcohol and dancing always help with illnesses. You do need to stand up for yourself more, if you're sick, you're sick, tell anyone who pressures you to just go away, but your friends are not only idiots, but dicks. They should have cared enough to make sure you were ok, not drag you out to the last place a sick person should be.