Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML
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Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML
Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML
Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML
Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML
Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML
Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML
Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML
Today, I had a customer go on a 15-minute rant about how disgusting fat people are, and how they deserve it if they develop diabetes, gout, etc. Yes, I am fat. I eat well, I exercise, I've had a gastric balloon, I've been to weight loss retreats, dieticians, personal trainers, and yet I'm "gross." FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
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Top comments
xSkittle 16
I really want to know how old he is
MEAT_CURTAINS 5
That's what I tell myself too 'Oh no my jeans don't fit' 'Oh it's ok i just haven't had a shit today'
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Comments (102)
xSkittle 16
I really want to know how old he is
cyanidesandwich 21
Is it just me or does he sound like he's has a version of binge-purge syndrome (is that bullimia?). He's either just reeally dumb and doesn't know how the digestive system works, or he has a disorder.
TheWildRover1 12
maybe you should not buy junk food? cos if its in your house the temptation will always be there
Cupcake040 17
Maybe OP isn't buying the junk food, perhaps their son is purchasing the food for himself without OP knowing (till now).
xSkittle 16
I don't think OP buys his kid junk food, else he wouldn't be surprised. I'm just curious what goes on in this kid's head... The way he thinks nobody would EVER get fat
fml121785 14
No matter the age it sounds like he needs some education about the whole way foods affect the body. It's something I never was taught in school & it should be or by the parents! I feel bad for chubby kids that end up picked on in school for it. It's not their fault that their parents never taught them about carbs...sad really! So sounds like lack of parenting & teaching if he's not old enough to know. Oh, and you should've kicked his ass out from in front of the Xbox & made him go play outside long before it had to come this plan he's on now!
Caitie_kid 8
Poor kid :-/ food really can be an addiction and an awful one at that.
MandieL 27
I agree, it can be an addiction, and just as hard to overcome as drugs. I don't think this is a FML or a YDI. I think your son needs help.
michaelaranda 28
Op, i was a pretty fat kid and my parents wanted me to lose weight badly. Nothing they did worked because i didnt care about my weight. When i finally gave a damn, i started to lose weight, and now, im living a healthy lifestyle. Moral of the story: OP, it sucks that ur kid is fat, but unless HE wants that to change, nothing u say or do will work. Youve got to get him to want to change himself.
CanadiAnM8 24
Everytime I see someone obese I feel very sad as they get picked on and it looks very hard to lose. I feel very bad for those people and it also could not have been their fault as they could have never known the stuff they eat makes them fat.
daminantion 14
'Murica.
hordriss 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I think you need to tell him not too be so ******* stupid. And that if he doesn't stick to his diet he's likely to rat himself into in early grave. He sounds like tough love is the answer.
ShyAnn29 14
Telling your kid they are stupid, I don't know about you, but I don't think that would help, that's more likely to make things worse.
hordriss 14
Not tell them they are stupid, tell them they're being stupid, there's a difference. Maybe not in those words, however it's clear the son needs educating, and quickly, before he eats himself to death.
GRgoldfish 19
well yes and no. its more likely that he will have a premature death with that kind of excessive eating but there are cases that have people over 90 that are over 300 ponds. I would tell him that its his life and he's going to be dealing with his weight problem, but if he sit there and tell you (and mean it) that he is fine with having a fat body then let him have it. best of luck op :)
MEAT_CURTAINS 5
That's what I tell myself too 'Oh no my jeans don't fit' 'Oh it's ok i just haven't had a shit today'
XanderScythe 11
Yeah me too, I take a shit and now my shoes fit my feet.
MEAT_CURTAINS 5
The logic if flawless, works for everyone
Nordrag 26
Thats why I use the taco bell diet.
whyusofat 17
What diet was he on?
Eorlas 31
On one side, he is an idiot, though it could also be denial. He needs to understand losing the weight will benefit him for the rest of his life. Keep at him, OP. It's really hard to break those habits when you just start making the changes.
Typicall 21
Yep, you should be worried.
starile 19
Explain to him from a caring perspective that this type of thinking is exactly what got him into this flabby mass of a body. Proceed to toss a celery stock into his gravitational pull and hope it makes its way into his pie-hole.
Dusty_Busters 15
I genuinely enjoyed reading this
bosox29 14
I did too. It's funny not sure about all the down votes. Sorry for a sick sense of humor.
sammyjanette 17
Yes, because insulting your own child is a good thing to do...
starile 19
For you, Sammy, this is what it looks like: "Honey, that's the reason why you're struggling so much with your weight now, isn't it? Here have some healthy food, instead." Now go be needlessly offended elsewhere. We're having fun over here.
Pleonasm 35
I forgot that the digestive system was actually just a chute leading from mouth to ass. That's probably why he's speaking such shit.
worldclassrager 39
Apparently metabolism doesn't exist in his vocabulary...