Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, as a nursing student, I needed to take a blood sample from someone and the veins on his arms weren't really easy to draw blood from. I asked him, "Can I please look at your legs?" It turns out he was amputated. FML
Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML
Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a routine check-up. When the nurse took my blood pressure, I passed out, and fell off the table. FML
Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response, "Still missing". FML
Today, I got discharged from the hospital after a six day stay, minus half my kicking foot. Not a diabetic, no trauma, just got some chills and was found to have extensive bone infection. FML
Today, I serve at church and had a funeral. As I greeted the family, someone asked how I was doing. Without thought, I responded, "Good to be alive." FML
Today, while at the hospital recovering from surgery, I overheard my doctor tell one of the nurses I'm so fat I could start a grease fire if left near an open flame. They thought I was still unconscious. I wasn't. FML
Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML
Today, I went to a blood drive. The nurse taking my blood mentioned that she'd been called in on her day off, and she swore she wasn't drunk. I didn't know what to do, so I just smiled and blinked back tears as she savaged the vein in my arm. FML
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Top comments
dmoran20 27
Sounds like you walked right into that..
a1f0sff 25
The force of habit can be a bitch sometimes...
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Comments (78)
cr3ativity 15
Wow. That's kinda inconsiderate of you.
boofgall 16
It's not like she MEANT to. God, read the name.
AbstraktThoughts 13
Op must be Doc's wife!
cr3ativity 15
Even though she didn't mean to, OP still said it.
dashizam 10
So you're one of THOSE people.
SillyGirl4602 23
It was a mistake that op obviously regretted after saying it. You have never said something you wish you hadn't?
buddy51 23
#1, you clearly have no leg to stand on with your limping and lame comment....
lex1459 38
At least OP didn't suggest she work at ihop
waffule365 16
I bet you wish you could take that back
vocaloidtiger 12
You don't say? I'm sure she regrets nothing.
dmoran20 27
Naaaa, it's not like she posted the story to FML.
buddy51 23
And the patient feels the same about her leg.
a1f0sff 25
The force of habit can be a bitch sometimes...
dmoran20 27
Sounds like you walked right into that..
boofgall 16
Unlike the patient. Too soon?
dmoran20 27
Too soon? I wouldn't think so, but at least you ran it by use first ;-)
marxistbkly 3
Talk about putting your foot in your mouth.
kevsandy303 12
OP probably wasn't putting his best foot forward with that one
TML329 14
I wonder if the patient works at ihop
TourettesGuyFTW 25
Enough with all the footloose comments people!! Honestly...
sarah6786 14
This is the lamest thread I have ever read. On another note i hope the patient stood up for herself.
FlubbaBubba 12
I sure got a kick out of all those puns.
ninjajoehenes48 8
"This is the lamest thread, so i will make a pun like everyone else" ^^^ haha
sens3sfailing 24
^*OP's name*
fatman1970 25
At least you won't get your ass kicked!
TourettesGuyFTW 25
65- you are a ******* retard. Go look up the word lame..then shoot yourself...in the foot.
tazzy349 11
the patient didnt ha ha
Hamz1989 13
Just apologize and let this be a caution to think before you say something like that next time.
mb2_native 15
It happens to all of us 6, not necessarily like that. But it happens nonetheless and it just happened at the wrong time, I know I said something like that in front of someone in a wheelchair and I almost died, but he started to laugh at my fail so I just had to laugh too.
DarkHelmet 10
Technically you were correct. She does still have a leg to kick with
chlorinegreen 27
Only problem is it may be a bit of a sensitive issue since it's still so new. But don't worry op hopefully they'll see it was a accident and brush it off their shoulder. Accidents happen!
ClaremoreZebra 8
Don't you mean, they'll walk it off?
Pleonasm 35
Sounds like you don't have a leg to stand on.
kut17 11
No. The PATIENT doesn't have a leg. Try to pay attention.
Pleonasm 35
That is the whole point. Patient doesn't have literal leg to stand on/ Nurse doesn't have metaphorical leg to stand on -- pun links the two together, voilà. Try to not be a smartass.
dmoran20 27
Poor #14. Looks like you opened mouth inserted foot...
kut17 11
Generally when someone doesn't have a leg to stand on, it means they don't have any evidence to uphold their claim. It doesn't mean they can't backpedal out of an awkward situation. That's why that joke sucked.
saksxalmo 20
Technically OP's statement that the patient is kicking doesn't have a leg to stand on. Yeah reading!
ManInTheMachine 19
You're digging yourself a deeper hole, kut17. Keep going, you're almost deep enough where you can't get any wifi. Then we won't have to read your idiotic comments anymore!
zero91 4
kurt , you shot your own foot
kut17 11
How did I shoot myself in the foot and dig a hole? The joke makes no sense! What's wrong with you people?
kut17 11
If you don't have a leg to stand on, you don't have evidence for your argument. Since OP was not in an argument or debate with the patient, this joke doesn't have a leg to stand on!
ClaremoreZebra 8
56- I thought it was a pretty badass pun. I think you're just mad cause your attempt at a troll was a complete and total failure.
NurseNasty 12
It might actually have been helpful for them to hear someone not walking on eggshells and avoiding all leg related speech.
cmac86 23
I'm sure you beat her to it. one of my friends had both of his legs amputated at the knee, his left hand amputated and most of his right hand amputated (he had a virus when he was an infant). he jokes about it all the time (like "watch out for that cat over there-she bites!" and he will hold his amputated arm up)
marxistbkly 3
Two questions, how did your friend preserve the amputee arm all these years, and how did he hold it up?
Karalela44 15
49 he's not holding the amputated arm...he's holding the nub
Wederoney 16
And this ladies and gentlemen is the definition of awkward.