Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML
Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML
Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML
Today, 4 miles into a mountain hike with my crush, I suddenly felt a stomach pain, followed by the urge for explosive diarrhea. I had to stand still with my butt clenched to prevent shitting myself. There were no nearby bathrooms, and I didn't have any toilet paper. It was messy. She'll never see me the same. FML
Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML
Today, I joined my crush for their workout class. I didn’t realize it was an advanced class. Ten minutes in, I was gasping for air, bright red, and drenched in sweat. The instructor had to stop and ask if I needed a paramedic. My crush offered me a cup of water along with a look of deep concern. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
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Top comments
Racky_fml 14
Well at least you weren't complaining all the time.
cswens25 8
Better in front of her then on her
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Comments (73)
Racky_fml 14
Well at least you weren't complaining all the time.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Well aren't you a smooth one.. Or maybe a chunky one, I would need a picture to fully decide
xlord 27
^^ nice thread jack
gc327072 30
HKC- this isn't 2010, that doesn't fly anymore.
Wowxoxo 17
It was probably so sudden! I wonder how far they ran...
tpm45 25
Maybe she will laugh at the irony, appreciate you not complaining, and will thus like you more! Win!
ronski 41
Actions speak louder than words
cswens25 8
Better in front of her then on her
cswens25 8
Than**
billywhhaatt 5
I prefer then. Much better image.
Atchoo 8
This is one of those times when then vs. than makes a world of difference.
tooflirty 8
Hahaha your comment made my day
SparrowMint 11
I'd much rather my running partner push themselves than complain . Hopefully she felt the same and isn't a sympathy puker or something.
heartemopants 18
but you didn't complain!
newbiehere99 6
Yes I did!!
kurodansei 16
They say push trough the pain but there's not a lot you can do when lunch pushes back.
Sputnikspak 13
Better runner's pukes than runner's diarrhea.
VIPwhenever 15
This makes me wonder if it was super hot, since it does say from Hawaii. It could've been the reason he threw up.
theslimshadylp 6
You literally blew this one my friend.
Maddy9111 11
she sounds like a rough partner to be running with... are you going to run with her again?
mistercrow 9
Didn't you get the memo that running is a friend zone activity anyways and you totally just did unnecessary running? xD Goodness well hopefully you at least were wearing nice shorts or something. Chicks dig the short loose ones or the long tight ones on dudes.
brackaman 18
Well at least you threw up when you got to the top as opposed to on the way up. The run back down should be a cinch compared to coming up. Hopefully she'll see that you're a trooper.