Health: Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy...

By Kay - 03/02/2011 05:33

Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 805

You deserved it 3 159

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Same thing different taste

By anony - 27/02/2013 13:49 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 713

You deserved it 6 688

By Anonymous - 10/05/2014 22:11 - Sweden - Lidk?ping

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 384

You deserved it 13 697

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 704

You deserved it 17 278

By sly - 25/10/2010 22:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 099

You deserved it 4 455

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 273

You deserved it 30 177

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 285

You deserved it 7 523

By impatient amy - 27/01/2009 14:23 - Ireland

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 878

You deserved it 2 891

Shock and awe

By Embarassed Girl - 14/07/2022 02:00

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 759

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 732

By n - 04/04/2015 18:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 123

You deserved it 3 502

alwa7sh 2

Thursday 3 February 2011 12:28

Ok ladies we have to put an end to this, we know you use the bathroom for things other than showering. We have known it our whole lives. So if your boyfriend, husband, ex-hasband, father in-law's second brother or any male walked in on you it is ok just finish what you started. So please no more FMLs about getting caught using the bathroom.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 3 February 2011 18:26

None taken. I have my iPhone on me constantly, so I like to check in while waiting for elevators, between patients, etc. It makes the time go by faster, and I get to vent some frustration at the same time. Either that or I'm faking this whole doctor thing, and I'm actually a 24 year old dude living in my parents' basement with nothing better to do.

Comments

x_Cupcakes 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 12:17

I hope you finished up quickly.

marinus_fml 19

Thursday 3 February 2011 12:17

cue the shitty puns...

alwa7sh 2

Thursday 3 February 2011 12:23

OP, That is a shitty situation ! Its ok life is full of crappy moments like these. #2 I hope this doesn't make you feel like shit.

ripjohnlennon 5

Thursday 3 February 2011 15:33

hah! I get it^

smokeymcpottt 3

Thursday 3 February 2011 15:44

^ No shit!

Rawr1918 4

Thursday 3 February 2011 12:19

2# Hahaha :)

Hummbinger 5

Thursday 3 February 2011 12:21

Fake, girls don't shit.

newjerseyguy 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 16:19

agreed

thejacl 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 17:51

or fart...

qcumberlovar 2

Thursday 3 February 2011 18:37

haha ignorance is bliss. :)

CreateZ 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 12:21

Reverse blumpkin?

TalkSick 2

Friday 4 February 2011 2:28

HAHAHA exactly. :D

alwa7sh 2

Thursday 3 February 2011 12:28

tr0llz0r 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 12:35

Nobody wants to hear that shit. We get it; you poop. Congratulations.

VertigoSD 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 16:02

What a shitty statement @7.

xrawritsashleyx 11

Thursday 3 February 2011 21:13

its pretty much only an FML cuz as much as everybody poops... its embarrasing to most girls. my ex always pooped when i was around. at my house and his. and he announced it. i never pooped at his house and when i had to i never announced it. its just slightly embarrassing for us girls. we dont know why. especially if its a new relationship.

bananamonkee 0

Friday 4 February 2011 0:27

hahah for reals shit, drop the kids off and tidy up cause as long as you ain't doing anything un natural get your ass out the toilet and open the door

DigitalKnight 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 8:01

Absolutely. So you pooped and may be he came to know or he heard. So what?

tr0llz0r 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 12:32

Recommended reading: "Everybody Poops." While it may not be the screaming ***** like you have, it still occurs. My advice? Shit as loud as you can. The toilet provides excellent harmonics for your butt trumpet. Make us proud.