Dogs and Animals: You're not the boss of me

You're not the boss of me

By crazydog - 10/06/2011 20:39 - United Kingdom

Today, my dog surprised everyone by somehow managing to climb on the roof. I followed him up and spent the next hour trying to catch him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 657

You deserved it 4 181

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Same thing different taste

Brave

By screw the cat - 24/07/2012 05:10 - United States - South Jordan

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house when we noticed her cat was missing. We saw it on the roof and so I thought I would try to look good by offering to go on the roof to retrieve it. The cat had climbed down when I got up there, and I have a fear of heights. Her mom had to help me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 115

You deserved it 23 893

Get back here!

By catgirl911 - 13/10/2009 01:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 187

You deserved it 25 150

By dBLIZZARD - 09/06/2015 18:39 - United States

Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 026

You deserved it 4 029

By muffins69 - 18/09/2010 02:34 - United States

Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 513

You deserved it 9 542

By Anonymous - 23/04/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 097

You deserved it 4 160

Cujo

By Doglover - 13/10/2011 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 013

You deserved it 2 891

By Coldandshoeless - 08/01/2013 10:40 - United States - Hackettstown

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 291

You deserved it 6 432

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 31/01/2017 10:13 - United States - Gladewater

Today, after weeks of looking for the source of an awful smell in our house, I found out our dog has been climbing over our loft banister, into the attic, and shitting. There were over twenty mounds. It took me almost four hours to clean up, and it still stinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 548

You deserved it 762

Treasure hunt

By Catois - 05/03/2010 05:17 - United States

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 772

You deserved it 13 220

By birdhater - 15/10/2009 06:16 - Australia

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 858

You deserved it 2 664

Miss_Michaela 10

Saturday 11 June 2011 0:50

Well, thats doggone crazy!

kaka123abc 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 0:56

he's spider dog!!! SPIDER DOG SPIDER DOG DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER DOG DOES

Comments

kaka123abc 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 0:56

he's spider dog!!! SPIDER DOG SPIDER DOG DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER DOG DOES

SeerePetrova 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:13

couldnt stop myself from laughing

jennifer93 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:32

best comment! hahaha

poisonflower 6

Saturday 11 June 2011 2:33

Does he swing from a web? No he can't, he's just a dog! Look out it's spider dog!

BossDavyy 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 0:56

I wish I had a dog like you

angrymexican 8

Saturday 11 June 2011 7:50

I assume your calling OP a dog

MrXerxes5 6

Saturday 11 June 2011 0:58

doggie treats. 'nuff said.

catatonicsleep 17

Saturday 11 June 2011 16:09

cook dinner... that always brings my dog running

joshuaUNWRITTEN 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 0:58

That Moment when Your Mascot is Smarter that You!

jackiemoonthepro 5

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:00

call him snoopy

TylersMB 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:03

maybe you should keep him somewhere else then? how the fffuk did he get on the roof?

stephanie911_fml 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:05

I wouldnt have climbed up there, dogs are smart enough to get down the way they got up there.

doltkid 3

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:12

hahaha, you are fail-some

dominikagirl 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:13

sounds like something my dog would do :) he's crazyyy.

DaM_iM_sO_nY 2

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:14

Are you the guy down the block to right that chases his own shadow while his dog chases his own tail .... you and your dog are a team

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The Top

Today, I went on a first date. It started out OK, but halfway through he began "debating" me, talking just like Ben Shapiro. I thought he was joking, or at least satirising the worst way you could talk during a date. I was wrong; he was serious. I'm still not sure what set him off, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways in after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 261

Today, I went to see the doctor for my daughter and myself. I fell two weeks ago, I thought I'd sprained my ankle but apparently I broke my leg instead. I’ve been limping around for two weeks. My daughter was sick, which is the only reason I got X-rayed. It may need screws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 186

The Top

Today, my husband purposefully said something to upset me. When I asked why he would do that, he told me it was to test my Prozac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 829

You deserved it 4 246

Today, I took sexy pictures for my boyfriend while at my aunt's house. I uploaded the pictures and after successfully posting them in a message, I deleted them. I accidentally deleted the whole photo library. Now she's taking the computer to Apple tomorrow to recover the "lost" photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 438

You deserved it 58 277

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 392

You deserved it 48 361

Today, I was fired for the first time in my life from a job that I actually loved and was passionate about. Apparently, none of my coworkers liked me and they thought that was a good enough reason to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 081

You deserved it 681

Today, I sadly had to tell my fiancé of 3 years that I realized I’m a lesbian and not really attracted to men, and therefore I called off the wedding. He decided to retaliate and out me to my very Christian parents, who are unhappy campers right now. “Unhappy” is an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 1 293

Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 410

You deserved it 48 043

You're not the boss of me

Same thing different taste

Brave

Get back here!

Cujo

Bad boy

Treasure hunt

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