Drunk, Pranks and Miscellaneous: Where am I?

Where am I?

By awalc - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with Skittles superglued to my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 259

You deserved it 6 147

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

SookyTurner 4

Tuesday 20 December 2011 22:30

Lifes a bitch

StoryOfTheYear 14

Tuesday 20 December 2011 22:49

Ah, you must be one of those people that thinks glue isn't real and Elmer's school glue is actually a bottle of bull sperm.

Comments

cwl727 32

Wednesday 30 April 2014 0:59

did the skittles spell anything out.

slimblack 26

Friday 25 July 2014 5:45

Care to explain?

SweetVictory 4

Saturday 30 August 2014 4:57

wear the rainbow

Culpie229 9

Wednesday 18 March 2015 6:08

You didn't just taste the rainbow. you were the rainbow

love_that_food 18

Saturday 5 September 2015 22:42

Taste the rainbow

Keywords

Love Instagram Social Media Money Shopping AITA Awkward Anxiety Sex Intimacy Health Wanker DIY Relatable Kids Miscellaneous Weather Cars Work Embarrassing Transportation Jealousy Family Vacation Language Cute Students Education Parents First Dates

The Top

Today, I realized that I'm jealous of my newly-divorced roommate. She has so much freedom now because her daughter lives 50/50 with her ex. I'm trying so hard keeping my household, relationship, work, and kids happy, and I'm tired and overwhelmed all of the time, while she goes on vacation with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 367

Today, I came home for lunch. I saw a sandwich on the table with a note saying, "I hope we can have a healthy new relationship, Love, Carissa." I saw another note from my girlfriend next to it saying, "I hope you enjoy your new relationship with Carissa." Carissa is my new step-mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 168

You deserved it 2 775

The Top

Today, I received 3 phone calls and 3 long and rather monotonous messages on my answering machine. Literally monotonous. As in, repeating the same tone over and over. The caller was a fax machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 94

Today, my mom changed her mind about driving me to a job interview because she wants to attend a meeting at a church she told me she'd never go back to, full of people she hates. I can't drive because she refuses to teach me how. There's no public transportation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 920

You deserved it 843

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 563

You deserved it 3 750

Today, my mother is trying to convince me to divorce my husband. He has a tattoo of a skull on his shoulder and she believes this means he kills people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 098

You deserved it 3 045

Today, the speaker I ordered from the distant country of America arrived. This is after it was held up by local customs, who demanded I pay no small amount for the import duty. Upon unboxing, I found out it was actually made in my own country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 691

You deserved it 331

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 453

You deserved it 6 166