Transportation, Cars and Love: Useful idiot

Useful idiot

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He said he would have done it two weeks ago but he needed someone to drive him around while his car was getting repaired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 065

You deserved it 4 525

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Top comments

chino627 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:15

make him pay for gas

Pawned71 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:38

pretend you want to give him a bj and then punch his balls back to where his childhood was

Comments

daisy_marie1102 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 13:20

Awwwww.. he's a cheap loser be proud he's not your boyfriend anymore

alexandrab 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 5:06

what an ass hole I'll pray tonight his car gets towed on Friday so he has to wait till Monday to pay to get it out lol

cubagirl 2

Tuesday 25 September 2012 15:24

What a douche bag

NamelessFace 22

Monday 1 September 2014 18:38

Smash in his windows or something. That way he has to get it repaired again AND won't have anyone to drive him.

Keywords

Management Work Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Birthday Family Money Mother in law Gifts Parents Public freakouts Education Students Exams Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

The Top

Today, the best restaurant in our neighbourhood is owned by a husband and wife who scream at each other constantly. Everyone thinks it’s funny, so they have a lot of loyal customers. I took a date there but the screaming gave her flashbacks to her own parents, so she hyperventilated and fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 268

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 204

You deserved it 6 457

The Top

Today, two teen girls got into a shouting match at the table next to mine at the food court. Sensing a fight brewing, I got up to leave. I stood up just in time for one of the girls to throw her tray, which missed her target and hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 066

You deserved it 1 613

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 551

You deserved it 3 739

Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her I was at my dad's house, she clarified; she meant her husband of one year, not my actual father who has raised me for the past 25 years. Apparently, he feels "left out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 766

You deserved it 1 610

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear sporty, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just when a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 78

Today, my nana died today of a heart attack in her sleep. I’ll never know if there was something I could have done, because while it was happening I was upstairs with a dildo, as it’s been a month since I had sex and I had the urge. I feel so selfish and ashamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 528

You deserved it 283

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 823

You deserved it 3 081