Intimacy: Twister

Twister

By Anonymous - 04/09/2015 01:30

Today, while making out in my car, the guy I was with decided it'd be a great idea to stick his tongue in my ear. He shoved it in so far that my ear still feels wet four hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 420

You deserved it 3 295

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Wax on, wax off

By Bllllaaaaaah - 24/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Juno

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 2 006

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 805

You deserved it 5 067

By Pierceew - 19/09/2009 05:22 - United States

Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 598

You deserved it 37 794

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 21:54 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 133

You deserved it 4 214

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 658

You deserved it 12 195

Really heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 17/12/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 131

By lissysue1 - 12/07/2012 19:23 - United States - Green Bay

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 889

You deserved it 4 907

By kblevss - 05/01/2013 09:21 - United States - Bayville

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 771

You deserved it 5 718

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - 18/02/2011 07:35 - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 832

You deserved it 4 847

By lorrilanee - 20/11/2010 06:20 - Australia

Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 185

You deserved it 5 083

hkhan24 23

Friday 4 September 2015 14:28

Was his name Willy?

mycrazyaddict1 4

Friday 4 September 2015 14:38

And some say chivalry is dead

Comments

iReadFML12 11

Friday 4 September 2015 15:53

At first I thought it said making out with my car lol

itwasntme14 19

Friday 4 September 2015 16:01

Wait, so that's not what girls mean when they ask a guy to make them wet?

captainsmegma 12

Friday 4 September 2015 16:07

Just think how good that'll feel when he heads south!

man_in_black08 28

Friday 4 September 2015 16:14

Atleast he stuck his tongue in some hole. Lol. May have not been the ideal hole, but nevertheless.

derangedplanet 23

Friday 4 September 2015 16:16

I love how fmls like this get all the personal stories. it's kinda funny to hear people talk about creepy exes

Dr_Lily_fml 17

Friday 4 September 2015 16:32

Eww a guy did that to me once, thinking he was being all hot and sexy... It felt so gross I had to wash it several times to feel clean again.

A1NoSauce 17

Friday 4 September 2015 16:54

Ewwwwwwwww how the ****? That taste is disgusting.

theJewCrew 14

Friday 4 September 2015 18:36

Well at least he got you wet

trellz17 19

Friday 4 September 2015 19:02

Been there, done that.

nzhx 23

Friday 4 September 2015 19:18

Why would anyone think that's a good idea?

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